And that’s why y’all gotta vamp it up a little every few months or so, huns. Not-so-innocent hit me baby one more time during the summer months, sophisticated New York chic ice princess in the fall, and sexy ski hill snow bunny in silky under thingies in the winter.
And the men, keep it fresh. Clean yourselves, try shaving, learn new techniques, read a book, watch some porn, learn some moves. Gawd, some shit is just so bo-ring…man on top for 5 mins, switch to doggy for 3, switch to cowgirl for 4, reverse cowgirl another 4, switch to wheelbarrow…yawn. Some women can time your moves perfectly in time to watch their favorite shows.
Sometimes ladies want it rough, sometimes gentle. Duh. And every man wants a lady in the streets and a freak in bed.
I hear airport janitor closets are a good start. But please not in a movie theater cuz there are people who will sit in those seats after you.
When it gets mundane and too routine and they don’t find each other attractive anymore, who wants to have sex?
Happy getting laid tonight!
Edit: Ps-I voted both groups of men will cheat (or not cheat) the same. I don’t have enough personal/relevant experience to reach a conclusion. But to be fair, people generally don’t look to cheat. It’s a way out of an unfulfilling relationship because the communication line isn’t open so it’s the cheater’s way of telling the other person s/he’s unfulfilled. Never cheated, never cheated on, so I could be bullshitting.
I think what you’re arguing is incredibly superficial. Judeo-Christian ideas did not create monogamy in humans. The only thing religion did for male/female partnership is solemnize it. All the other aspects of established boy/girl relationships are deeply rooted in the needs of society.
If it were up to men’s biology only, there would be no marriage or any sort of bf/gf relationship. Guys would court the girl long enough to bed her as many times as he liked, and dump her when he tired of her. And if there more than one girl, he’d do the same thing with her at the same time.
But that wouldn’t be good for women. Or families. Or having society. You can even argue that the sanctity of marriage and fidelity built into religions is because of the needs of society. Women cannot afford to have such a cavalier attitude towards sex. Those that do are naturally constrained by the mechanism of getting pregnant.
So the concept of fidelity to a relationship is not borne of religious tradition, though religious tradition has shaped the tone of the dialog concerning the issue. You can argue that the solemnization of marriage and sexual fidelity are outmoded, but saying that there is no expectation of fidelity within current society is absolutely wrong. And you’d be very hard pressed to argue that society no longer needs such a convention.
The whole concept of “legitimacy” is rooted in monogamy. Without monogamy there could be no issue of legitimacy. So, I don’t think men worrying about legitimacy could not have been the reason for creating monogamy or the concept of cheating.
Cheating is not imaginary. It occurs when there is an agreement between two parties as how to conduct themselves and one or both parties secretly acts contrary to the agreement. If the agreement is implicit that does not make it any less cheating, except for the ethically dubious.
Don’t agree, here. One of the characteristics of our species is the way males participate in the raising of offspring. Doing so further increases the likelihood of the survival of offspring carrying his genes. It is precisely because the males of our species put so much into rearing their children that they want assurances that they aren’t doing so for kids that aren’t his. Thus, marriage, monogamy etc are very much in the males’ interests. The same explains males’ preference for females who have had fewer sexual partners-- or none at all-- the lack of desirability of women with too much experience and male anxieties surrounding infidelity (both influencing the perceived likelihoods of raising a child that isn’t genetically his).
Oxytocin, which is released with orgasm, creates bonding. This is biological. Whether or not it encourages monogamy is debated, but it does encourage and create sexual bonds (ie a relationship) between sexual partners.
One of the biggest fallacies that people fall into is assuming that Nature = Goodness. Nothing could be further from the truth. Just because it’s natural doesn’t make it right. Hobbes put it best - life under the laws of nature is nasty, brutish, and short. I believe that human beings are naturally programmed to commit adultery, steal, murder, rape, fight, lie, cheat, bully, all sorts of nasty stuff. What separates us from the beasts is that we are able to control our natural impulses. Unlike a dog, I don’t hump the leg of whatever attractive female passes by.*
*(Well, most of the time. Sometimes I nibble their ears.)
Nonetheless, what I was fnording from the beginning is that the language that many of us use to express our opinions has been shaped by “at least” a few centuries of Judeo-Christian thought and its sideshow. And perhaps, our Weltanschauung is in part formed by the explicit and implicit meanings of the language we employ to describe and realize the world we live in.
If in some way “language determines thought” then the use of a (loaded) term like “cheating” says as much about the user as it does about what it is referring to. I argue against the word itself as it seems to me that it carries a lot of baggage. Do all cultures and languages use a comparable term to describe extramarital sexuality?
Since I have done such a great job making myself clear; perhaps, I’d better just link a little of the Whorf and Korzybski that I have been into these days.
Dorothy Parker:
“By the time you swear you’re his
Shivering and sighing
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying
Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying.”
B.F. Skinner:
“Is genuine righteousness something that requires struggle? Is virtue impossible apart from vice?"
Alfred Korzybski:
“Whatever you say it is, it isn’t.”
I feel very sorry for this woman. All that is evidence in that sad little poem, is that either she’s been a skank, or her SO’s have been banging their way through half her friends whilst vowing “infinite, undying” passion for her.
Oh, I don’t know if the topic is really that superficial. My original idea may have looked at things superficially, but thinking about how people act in different societies is not something I think is not that superficial of a topic.
Yeah, I’ve read Whorf, at least parts. Anyway, that’s not really here nor there. This thread is not about whether or not it is moral to have extramarital relations or multiple romantic partners. It’s about who, in the condition of being in a relationship that has an expectation of exclusivity, acts in contravention of that understanding.
The word cheating suits the topic just fine. It does not refer to all extramarital sexuality, nor does it refer to all cases where people are in a relationship but still have multiple romantic partners. What it does refer to is when people are in a relationship and they know it is either an explicit or understood condition of the relationship that they have only the one romantic partner, yet they still have romantic interactions with a 3rd party.
Breaking the rules to ones own advantage and to the disadvantage of another person is understood perfectly well by the term cheating. While the term is loaded in that it connotes a moral condemnation of the act, it does not interfere with the meaning involved.
Open marriages, open relationships, and casual dating where there are no expectations of fidelity are not cheating. Being in a relationship with someone who you knows expects you to be faithful, yet choosing not to be is cheating.
Don’t agree, here. One of the characteristics of our species is the way males participate in the raising of offspring. Doing so further increases the likelihood of the survival of offspring carrying his genes. It is precisely because the males of our species put so much into rearing their children that they want assurances that they aren’t doing so for kids that aren’t his. Thus, marriage, monogamy etc are very much in the males’ interests. The same explains males’ preference for females who have had fewer sexual partners-- or none at all-- the lack of desirability of women with too much experience and male anxieties surrounding infidelity (both influencing the perceived likelihoods of raising a child that isn’t genetically his).[/quote]
But is that because of the evolution of society, or a biological mechanism? And where is the greater need? Men’s need to raise their children or women’s need for the burdens of parenting to be shared?
We can’t really appeal to history. And anthropology will only get us but so far.
Regardless, marriage predates Judaism and Christianity, as do people being boyfriend and girlfriend. So, any claim that romantic exclusivity is due to outmoded religion is going to need a lot more support than he gave.
Evolution wise, it is not enough for a man to have children for his genetic line to continue those children must live long enough to have their own. Therefore it is beneficial, from an evolutionary standpoint, for a man to partake in the rearing of the children he has sired.
I reckon that there’s no need theories to explain why people cheating…it’s just the matter of heart & commitment.Human mind and behaviour just keep changing from days to days, so I think If we relied on theories, it might be appropriate and might be wrong at all.
If you didn’t want to vote in the pole and you don’t want to generalize on the subject, why did you feel the need to post in this thread at all?[/quote]
You saucy thing!
Yes, monogamy seems to be associated with patriarchal societies (which is most of the world nowadays), as a means of ensuring (more or less) paternity. Does that mean the ladies would be better off living out their lives with their maternal relatives, accepting lovers through the window as the Mosuo do? Or shunning marriage in favor of a long strings of no-frills bed partners? Sure, marriages can fail (or just remain lackluster), but your chances of a better life are a whole lot better than going the hippie route.
Same with religion, I suspect. It’s easy to find grounds for criticism, but at the end of the day (and assuming you belong to some normal religion, and not Scientology or something), it’s real hard to find a substitute for all the benefits it provides.
I have always been a person to tell a girl/woman that I am dating other women. In my experience this has never created problems for me or the other parties. I was like that in the USA and now I am here in Taiwan. So I guess that doesn’t constitute cheating.
I have found that if a person is honest with the other person there is less likely to be an issue. This is my situation as a single young male. The girls accept the fact that I date other girls. However there is the conception that every girl likes you.
If I ever was to get married I don’t think I could even cheat on my spouse. However after being in Asia for awhile I have run across a consistent theme within many marriages.
Some men cheat and some women do to. One woman I know told her husband he didn’t make enough money to have a mistress. However he had a mistress.
Some other situations involve Mainland Chinese business men with their wives here in Taiwan and the their Mistresses back in the Mainland.
If a man wants to cheat in Taiwan it is quite easy however I believe that if you are cheating then you neither deserve the woman you are with or the one you have.
It seems to me that it is much easier for a man here to cheat on their spouse/ girlfriend because the clubs/bars just seem to be like that.
