[quote=“Scarface”][quote=“Scarface”][quote=“Namahottie”]
This is to the men—How is it that men are just able to ignore someone when they know they rightly deserve a good arse kicking?[/quote]
It’s really, really… really hard.
But it does explain why like to play contact sports.[/quote]
Oh! And we really need sex! (SO, sex ban, you do the math).[/quote]
Well I doubt that he’s on a sex ban. Like I know 
but eventhough he’s married, he sure talks ALOT about his male roommate.
Pray for him. The negative thoughts that are reverberating around in your head about him will change to positive energy reverberating around in your head. Not necessarily about him either-about you. It took me a long time to accept that the club of anger I planned for others I was actually using on myself. Then it took a longer time to pray for others that had harmed me- so that I could feel better. No thought ever escapes the mind. If you pray for him you will be forgiven of this anger you have toward him. New Age hocus pocus? Christianity? Its beyond me. Just try it.
I do pray for him, in the sense of when he gets on my nerves or press that button, I ask God to bless him. Because anyone who is creating such drama or misery in another life is miserable themselves.
I was thinking about what is it that he does that pushs my buttons? What is it that makes the both of us rub the wrong way. I believe for me, it’s aspects of my relationship with my father(his lack of approval) that shows me that I still have some healing or growth to do on that lesson. Nonetheless, no human should have to live or work in an enviroment where their self-expression is imposed upon. I have given up the petty gossiping with him along time ago, which he loves, because of course it creates that drama that drives him, and his ego. But stepping out of that seems to have created more and more antagonistic(sp?) behaviour.
dear namahottie,
just remember that whenever anybody talks about someone (especially someone they don’t know very well), they are actually saying more about themselves than they are about you.
stop letting others own you and your emotions!
he owns your ass, and he knows it.
are you there to work or make buddies?
just concentrate on making each work day a good one for you.
just be a professional and leave the drama for the high schoolers.
best regards,
john
I think it’s better if you don’t use your MP3 at work, Namahottie. What the hell are you thinking? You are being very selfish in your actions and you don’t realise it.
Then you moan when other people complain about you. You are so rude.
From now on, my advice is to bring a set of speakers into work so everyone can listen, especially if you are listening to old Bobbles there.
Plug them into you computer and everyone is happy. It’ll certainly sort out Mr. Jobsworth.
Resentment is so difficult. It comes from the French word sante which loosely means emotional feeling. To re-feel negative feelings over and over again is true suffering, for me anyway. Sometimes a quick prayer wont do…I just have to keep praying until it works… but it has never taken long. That magical magnifying glass we call the ego somehow is put into proper perspective, and with it so are my feelings. I used to scoff at prayer until I was left with little choice but to try it. Now it is probably the most practical tool I have. But suffering is optional. It will end sooner or later. You decide. I once asked a wise friend when I would be free of a particularly terrible resentment I had for someone. His reply…when you’ve suffered enough.
[quote=“JOHN MOSS”]dear namahottie,
just remember that whenever anybody talks about someone (especially someone they don’t know very well), they are actually saying more about themselves than they are about you.
stop letting others own you and your emotions!
he owns your ass, and he knows it.
are you there to work or make buddies?
just concentrate on making each work day a good one for you.
just be a professional and leave the drama for the high schoolers.
best regards,
john[/quote]
Yes you are very right on the nail with that one. Hence why this is such a big lesson to deal with. Not to make it a dramatic one, but it is a struggle. Truth be told, I’m almost 34 and it really really really bugs me that at this age I am still dealing with people picking on me. It’s like "okay namahottie, how come you still are attracting this people in to your life?’
[quote=“Dangermouse”]I think it’s better if you don’t use your MP3 at work, Namahottie. What the hell are you thinking? You are being very selfish in your actions and you don’t realise it.
Then you moan when other people complain about you. You are so rude.
From now on, my advice is to bring a set of speakers into work so everyone can listen, especially if you are listening to old Bobbles there.
Plug them into you computer and everyone is happy. It’ll certainly sort out Mr. Jobsworth.
[/quote]
Are you being funny or actually reprimanding me for listening to music at a low music? The MP3 was attached to speakers but being played at a low volume. Enough for me to hear but not to distrub those around me. Perhaps he didn’t care for Mariah Carey and R&B music. 
In that case I have a sadist in my personality 
I naturally assumed you were wearing headphones and was trying to be funny. However, you are now being reprimanded for listening to Mariah Carey and being so reckless as to allow other people to hear such droll. There is plenty of better quality music out there to choose from, like a recording of Pan Ciao MRT station at rush hour or a series of bleeps.
I have no sympathy for you now :raspberry:
On a more serious note, where do you work? Do you work in a school or an office? I can’t remember.
Perhaps you can approach your boss about his behaviour?
I naturally assumed you were wearing headphones and was trying to be funny. However, you are now being reprimanded for listening to Mariah Carey and being so reckless as to allow other people to hear such droll. There is plenty of better quality music out there to choose from, like a recording of Pan Ciao MRT station at rush hour or a series of bleeps.
I have no sympathy for you now :raspberry:[/quote]
I know I know, no woe is me on this board. I’ve made too many enemies. I think that if I could get a recording of the garbage truck music, that would probably create a warmer environment.
In that case I have a sadist in my personality [/quote]
Haha. Ok. I’m really only suggesting that sometimes you gotta try something completely different. I’ve yet to think myself out of one of these things.
As far as John Moss’ comment on “him owning your ass and he knows it”… I really doubt it. He’s tossin’ and turnin’ too. You cant be that passive aggressive and be feeling anything like a victory dance.
Gonna bore you with another wise friend story, sorry.
Tot: John, I feel like killing that acehole.
John: Hmmm. You know the only thing could be worse than that?
Tot: What?
John: If I had to feel that way.
[quote=“TainanCowboy”]sante means health in French.
wordreference.com/enfr/health[/quote]
Yes, that’s true. But it is the root word for the word resentment and in that context it means mental or emotional health. But I gave the definition as emotional feeling and it is not. You’re correct about the dictionary definition of the word. Thanks
If you don’t have earphones, get 'em and use 'em. If you have 'em, use 'em. No reason for anyone else to be subjected to your noise.
As far as your co-worker complainig about you, I’d tell him to get bent. I’m pretty confrontational when someone’s being a jerk, but in a passive aggressive way. Not good, but it feels good after I let it out. Sometimes I’m not though. I like the diplomatic approach with certain types of people, but when someone’s being a stupid arsehole, I let 'em have it.
hi tot (and namahottie)
i wanted to respond to tot briefly.
you disagree that this guy owns namahottie, but let’s remember there are two people involved here. i’m not saying he owns her because he has a lasso and a deed, but he owns her because she is letting him.
he probably is squirming inside because he sounds like a worm. but he is still being the passive-aggressive worm and she is biting. it takes two to tango.
he probably is pretty messed up inside and is taking it out on others, but namahottie is chosing to let his behavior dictate her feelings at work.
namahottie needs to work on why this is happening for herself. i hope she grows from this because from all the posts i read by her she sounds like a really neat person.
jm
well… err… one thing i was thinking was that you were aware that he uses this website often and still posted about him om here. That seems to suggest that you dont have the minerals to talk to him about this face to face. If you have already tried that and it failed, then let him fall by the wayside; as i would say “sack him off” (in the non-sexual way). But dont come on her and stir things up more; not doing yourself any favours!!
As for listening to Mariah Carey; i saw her at live8 and she has a bad attitude and bad music. I am listening to Supergrass’ latest album (half cut). Supergrass rock 
NOTE: if you are north american Supergrass are a musical outfit hailing from blighty who play lennon - eske epic music that makes me want to pump those legs (i.e. dance). They are SO under-rated its untrue!
PS - this post is living testament to the fact that you shouldnt post on here after consuming alcohol 
[quote=“JOHN MOSS”]hi tot (and namahottie)
I wanted to respond to tot briefly.
you disagree that this guy owns namahottie, but let’s remember there are two people involved here. I’m not saying he owns her because he has a lasso and a deed, but he owns her because she is letting him.
Hi John,
Ok. Understood.
But whenever I say I own someone I usually mean in the sense that I am free to do with them as I will. I am in control of the situation and I’m at ease. For instance in say, an activity that I’m either better at, or just having a lucky day. I doubt the co-worker feels this way. He’s reacting out of displeasure, not control. If he was he wouldn’t be behaving the way he is.
Yes, it takes two to tango. But its very rare that someone will just suddenly choose to become offended and react the way he is. Somewhere along the line Namahottie has offended him. She may be completely innocent, I dont know. But he’s pissed about something, thats for sure.
Because she’s letting him? Hey, I wish I had the kind of rational control over my emotions to just say, hey, this is about him , not me… and walk away. I dont. Few do. I used to have to go into an obsessive negative inventory of the offender and either confront him or wait for time to soothe the suffering. Still do sometimes.
I avoid a lot of that with prayer now, however.
Thanks John.
hello again tot (and namahottie)
I see your point tot. maybe “own” is too strong a word in this case. I use that analogy from my 8 years working in a group home for emotionally damaged/abused/neglected teenagers. our head therapist was a master at getting kids to face their issues. he often used this analogy of someone “owning their ass” when they were stuck with something that was more about someone else than themselves. it really hit home with these kids. if a kid was stuck in self pity he would threaten to make them a t-shirt that said, “so- and-so owns my ass”. the point often hit home.
i see a similarity in namahottie, in that she is giving this guy more attention than he deserves.
perhaps she did do something to piss him off. perhaps it’s what others in this post have eluded to-that he’s attracted to her and he feels in some way she rejected him and now he’s hurt.
perhaps it’s also as some others have suggested-he is racist against foreigners. that could be, but that is also about him and not namahottie.
i think namahotties’ best choice is to be the better person. to do her job as a professional, and let this guy be put where he belongs-out of her mind.
also let it be known, namahottie, i don’t think i have ever worked in a place where i got along with every single person. i have worked in a wide array of jobs. in every single position, there is someone who i don’t care for. once it was a racist, once it was a passive aggressive type, and once it was someone who skipped their meds. you never know.
thanks tot, and good luck namahottie, keep us posted.
john