[quote=“TainanCowboy”]sante means health in French.
wordreference.com/enfr/health[/quote]
You’re right.
“resent” is derived from the French “sentir” - to feel.
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?search=resent&searchmode=none
Hmmm. I remember specifically reading that sante was the root word for resentment. But I stand corrected. Thanks
[quote=“JOHN MOSS”]
he probably is pretty messed up inside and is taking it out on others, but namahottie is chosing to let his behavior dictate her feelings at work.
namahottie needs to work on why this is happening for herself. I hope she grows from this because from all the posts I read by her she sounds like a really neat person.
jm[/quote]
In an earlier post I already meantioned that I was working on this. I think that him doing this has to relate to my father. Him not having ‘approval’ for me and what not. Plus, dad could be a bit of a bully. He is pussing those buttons.
Then there’s that confrontational aspect. I don’t care for it, and when I can do it, I just walk away feeling like the ass for having defended myself.
As for headphones, I do use them, but like a have already said for the zillionth time, the volume was very very low. I could only hear it. I know for a fact that it wasn’t loud enough. He’s just being a bully
I don’t know if he does use this website. Not every foriegner comes on here.
JOHN MOSS
[quote]
I see a similarity in namahottie, in that she is giving this guy more attention than he deserves.[/quote]Only in my mind, at work, I don’t talk to him at all. I talk to a few other co workers and most of the time too busy planning lessons
[quote]
perhaps she did do something to piss him off. perhaps it’s what others in this post have eluded to-that he’s attracted to her and he feels in some way she rejected him and now he’s hurt.[/quote] There is no way in HELL this man is attracted to me. He’s married, not saying that’s the reason. But he also has made it very clear that the Taiwanese are very much a better race/women.
[quote]
perhaps it’s also as some others have suggested-he is racist against foreigners. that could be, but that is also about him and not namahottie.[/quote] He’s not a taiwanese. As I get along with my TW co workers, as far as I know. He I do believe that he is racist toward blacks, as I we had conversations about differences(on any subject)before where he’s always used derogatory comments to make his point.
[quote]
I think namahotties’ best choice is to be the better person. to do her job as a professional, and let this guy be put where he belongs-out of her mind.[/quote] That right, need to stop giving this more energy than it needs. I guess I feel really frustrated and like unprotected, hence why I am mulling over it.
Nama,
I’d ask him next time what kind of music he’d prefer listening to. And let him know you’d play his CD’s from time to time. 
hi namahottie,
yes, you did already mention that you believe a lot of this has to with your issues with your father and his lack of approval for you.
i wonder why you need approval from this guy at work?
usually father issues are dealt with more with someone of more significance, say a significant other, or a coach, or a boss.
this guy is your co-worker only. you don’t need his approval to validate your good work, or to feel good about yourself as a person.
remember: parents usually parent in the way they were parented. perhaps your father is not able to show approval for you because his father did not show approval to him. it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t approve of you. he maybe just doesn’t know how to show it. often men are supposed to be the tough guy, not to show emotion. it doesn’t mean he doesn’t approve of you or that he doesn’t care about you. he may just be unaware he was doing this when you were growing up, or when you were going out on your own as an adult.
good for you for facing this and working on it. this forum is a good place to work things out. i find it good too because a)you don’t have to pay a therapist and b)you can have a sense of anonymity that you don’t have in face to face therapy. (this is a generalized statement, i do not mean to imply in any way that you are seeking or need therapy, because, of course, i do not know you.)
take care,
john
[quote=“Namahottie”]
[quote]
perhaps she did do something to piss him off. perhaps it’s what others in this post have eluded to-that he’s attracted to her and he feels in some way she rejected him and now he’s hurt.[/quote] There is no way in HELL this man is attracted to me. He’s married, not saying that’s the reason. But he also has made it very clear that the Taiwanese are very much a better race/women…[/quote]
Sounds like he has issues with getting rejected by the women in his home country. You probably remind him that he couldn’t get any back home, and he needs to take it out on you to get his ego back.
I work with a guy who goes off a lot on the superiority of TW women. Funny though, he only does it in front of a very pretty female coworker. I’m going to mention it to her tomorrow. You have inspired me. She may as well know how badly her presence is affecting him.
Have you asked your other coworkers how his behavior changes when you’re not in the room? I betcha it does.
[quote=“JOHN MOSS”]hi namahottie,
yes, you did already mention that you believe a lot of this has to with your issues with your father and his lack of approval for you.
I wonder why you need approval from this guy at work?
usually father issues are dealt with more with someone of more significance, say a significant other, or a coach, or a boss.[/quote] It seems that if one has issues with their coach or boss, then it’s more authority issues. I don’t need approval from him, but we all would like to be apart of the group. It’s a human thing I know you understand.
[quote]
this guy is your co-worker only. you don’t need his approval to validate your good work, or to feel good about yourself as a person.[/quote]I don’t lookt to him to validate me, but it is frustrating when someone is harassing you passively or actively. That is not what I signed up for when i choose a job.
[quote]
remember: parents usually parent in the way they were parented. perhaps your father is not able to show approval for you because his father did not show approval to him. it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t approve of you. he maybe just doesn’t know how to show it. often men are supposed to be the tough guy, not to show emotion. it doesn’t mean he doesn’t approve of you or that he doesn’t care about you. he may just be unaware he was doing this when you were growing up, or when you were going out on your own as an adult.[/quote] Pops is pops and I get all that has occured with him. No loss love for his own faults. I’m at that age where I see him just like I would see any other adult.
[quote]
good for you for facing this and working on it. this forum is a good place to work things out. I find it good too because a)you don’t have to pay a therapist and b)you can have [color=darkred]a sense of anonymity[/color] that you don’t have in face to face therapy. [/quote]
I would if I hadn’t gone to past Happy Hours. But thanks!
If being negative in return doesn’t work, and ignoring him doesn’t work, maybe you should try being positive.
Bake him cookies. Not just him, everyone, but leave them on his desk as well as everyone else’s. If he continues to be cold to you after you give him cookies everyone will think him the biggest prick of all time. (If cookies aren’t your thing, do something else that is.)
You’re probably right that he’s a racist. I think the best cure for racism is compassion and understanding. It’s a “big-picture” answer, but maybe it’s also the answer for your problem as well.
[quote=“puiwaihin”]If being negative in return doesn’t work, and ignoring him doesn’t work, maybe you should try being positive.[/quote] Been there, Done that. Hugged him once and he recoiled as if I were a leper.
[quote]
Bake him cookies. Not just him, everyone, but leave them on his desk as well as everyone else’s. If he continues to be cold to you after you give him cookies everyone will think him the biggest prick of all time. (If cookies aren’t your thing, do something else that is.)[/quote]Done that for the office many times. As I love to do that anyway.
[quote]
You’re probably right that he’s a racist. I think the best cure for racism is compassion and understanding. It’s a “big-picture” answer, but maybe it’s also the answer for your problem as well.[/quote]Yes the cure for racism and compassion, and understanding but truth be told my name aint Jesus, and I would like to put my foot up that fat arse of his. rant over thanks anyway for your suggestions. I know what you are striving for.
Well, maybe you should just do that. Put your foot up his arse. If it’s such a big deal to you, deal with it. Kick him in the ass and tell him to FO.