If you love someone, set them free.
If they come back, they’re yours,
If they don’t, it was never meant to be
Big Soppy Matthew.
if you are into hot looking taiwan babes, then it’s all about competition. many guys chasing very few of these honies. And the guys with the big fancy cars with big credit usually get the pretty ones. This is reality. Take it in good stride and play within your league. These girls want it all, fancy clothes, the good life and expensive jewelry. Yeah, they are bitches, but they are hot. You pay the price.
if you don’t care about looks and care about the “inside” qualities, then the lack of money should not be a problem. just be yourself and be nice.
in other words, it has been my observation that the degree of greed directly corresponds with how hot the babe is. ever notice that?
my 2 cents worth. peace. 
[quote=“Big Fluffy Matthew”]If you love someone, set them free.
If they come back, they’re yours,
If they don’t, it was never meant to be
Big Soppy Matthew.[/quote]
Or if they don’t come back, hire a contract killer to go whack the b@stard out in the most painful way imaginable.
If a girl digs you for the money, hold out on her. If she truly loves you then money don’t matter.
[quote=“MiakaW”]I would never said that to my bf / husband,…
I rather have a bf / husband who’s sex drive are just like me, serious!!! I think sex is more important in a relationship / marriage than $$$$…[/quote]
Here, here!
It seems to me that most of the Westerners found hard to understand the “Taiwanese” way of relationship. I had a difficult time with my family when I was going out with my then bf, now husband. (btw, I am a dual citizen of TW and Aus been living in Aus for past 13 years)
My suggestions are(from my own experience and friends):
- Marriage is really about 2 families in the Chinese situation, so not only you would need to please her parents, perhaps her sisters, brothers, even pets. I think Chinese generally likes to give gifts or some sorts, so when my bf(now husband) were going out with me, I kept on reminding him about the special dates, and he would bring gifts to my parents. Most chocolates, however, it didn
Thanks for the advice Midori. I really can’t complain much about my Taiwanese girlfriend. She really is an amazing girl and I think I am a very lucky guy. Actually I don’t really think the culture difference is much a problem for us, at least not yet. I have actually had alot more problems in the past with previous Australian girlfriends. You don’t need cultural differences to make a relationship difficult. Anyway I think I am far from your typical Australian male, whatever that is. I guess I really shouldn’t make generalisations when I criticise others for doing the same. I actually find that being in a relationship with a person from a different country and culture far more stimulating and rewarding than just being with someone from your own country or culture. Erick
PS Midori how often do you visit your family in Taiwan? How does your family feel about you living so far away from them in Australia?
I get the feeling that one of the main reasons that my girlfriend’s mother would not like her to have a serious relationship with a foreigner is that if we did get married someday then her daughter may have to live overseas and she may not see her very often. What do you think about this? Was your mother reluctant or maybe more appropriately devastated to see you move overseas to live in Australia?
My immediate family are in Auz, so they were ok about ‘living apart’ because I get to visit my parents and sis/bro about twice a week for dinner. My husband actually love that because my mum cooks far better than me…(sigh~) However, he needs to wash the dishes after dinner. HA!
I think initiative is another key to improve the relationship with her family…,things like take care of her all the time, I don’t mean let her depend on you, my experience is that my huaband(then bf) would always take me home no matter how late or how tired he is at the end of the day, though we haven’t got a car and always take public transport. My dad was really impressed by that, and ensured that my husband was really care about my safety.
I agree with you that relationship problems occurs no matter if you are with an Aussie girl or Chinese girl. I read an article by a woman who actually married a Westerner, criticising and encouraging girls not to marry Westerners because of whole lots of problems, but after I though about it for a while, the problems she proposed were actually happen within the couples who are from the same background.
Most of my relatives in Taiwan think I am a stupid little girls(coz I married early and married a Westerner who aren’t rich in their sense) but I think I have made a right decision. Since, getting marry is something for the rest of my life, and I think it shouldn’t be judged by wealth level of nationality.
Yeah, I think most of the mothers would hate to have their daughter amrried so far away. Even within Taiwan, mothers would not like daughters to marry to another city…think about moving overseas…
It is a great task to convince her family that you will take care of her…
Good Luck~
[quote=“Midori”]Marriage is really about 2 families in the Chinese situation…[/quote]I would not agree with that. I think that marriage is more of a two family affair in the west than in China/Taiwan. When most Chinese women get married, their families treat them as though they are no longer part of the family. Likewise, most Chinese husbands I know expect their wives to do more to build a relatioship with his family than to maintain a relationship with her family.
People have made much of the idea that marriage is a union of two families and that it’s important to build a good relationship with your Chinese partner’s family. While not disagreeing with that completely, I must also say that there are times when both the husband and wife in a bi-cultural relationship need to tell their families to put a sock in it.
If I were to have married another American, then my parents would perhaps have a better understanding of my marriage life and might be able to give a bit of advice. However, they know dick about Chinese family life and about my wife’s background. No matter how much they try to learn, they will always be much more ignorant about my marriage life than if I had married someone from my country. The same holds true for my wife’s parents.
If you are thinking about marrying someone from a different cultural background, then you should be prepared for the two of you to be more independent from your families than if you were to marry someone from a similar background. My wife and I still have good relationships with our families, but we both agreed early on that we couldn’t satisfy everybody. More so than a “normal” marriage, the only people who can fully understand our situation are the two of us. Our two families are not capable of completely understanding each other. That is just reality. The only people who can mediate between both families and decide what to tell whom are the two of us. Yes, that is also true in a “normal” marriage, but it is especially true in a bi-cultural marriage.
If my wife and I have an argument, there are times when it just isn’t helpful to tell anybody else about it. My American friends and family would have no understanding of my wife’s point of view, and my wife’s friends and family wouldn’t be able to understand my point of view, either. In a situation like this, a bi-cultural couple just has to be better at talking over their problems between themselves without asking anybody else for advice. Take for example money. My in-laws have no sons. Their daughters will need to take care of them. After getting married, we still give money to them every month. I don’t especially like it, but I have gotten used to the fact that we have to do it. My wife and I have had tense discussions about issues like this. We have never once told my family that we give money to her parents because my parents wouldn’t understand. We have never told her parents that I would prefer to support them in a way other than giving them cash every month. They wouldn’t understand. While issues like these can cause tension between husband and wife, it is often absolutely useless to talk about it with your family or friends. The only people who have the cultural knowledge to understand your bi-cultural marriage are the two of you, or maybe other friends who are in similar marriages. Yes, build good relationships with each other’s families. However, do remember that the reason you are marrying her/him is not her/his family.
Excellent post, Jive Turkey.
Very interesting post J.T., thanks.
The only people who have the cultural knowledge to understand your bi-cultural marriage are the two of you, or maybe other friends who are in similar marriages. Yes, build good relationships with each other’s families. However, do remember that the reason you are marrying her/him is not her/his family.[/quote]
I agree with this, and have heaps of friends who are euro-asian couples…
most turn out well, but some still have major conflicts over different persepctives of life…