I’ve been pondering this for a bit, especially since living in Taiwan for the last two years, dealing with the sizeable communication gaps between English- and Mandarin-speaking peeps.
I have a friend, who herself admits she’s not a great communicator (great fornicator, OTOH!). We care about each other dearly, but there’s times when the stilted conversations and extended silences leave me wanting to gibber for the sake of sound, and have me thinking if there’s anything actually being processed upstairs. I think this not because she’s female, but rather because she seems quite vacant in these moments.
I then have another mate who literally talks non-stop. He’s tells fantastic (borderline fantasical) stories that have whoever’s listening in stitches. It’s difficult to get a word in sideways. However, this has never led me to believe that he’s a rocket scientist. Rather that he’s a good communicator and great story-teller.
Is she vacant? Is he a blabber-mouth? Is she an introvert? Is he an extrovert? How do I get her to talk more, and him less?
I think I look totally vacant when I have to speak English. I always feel insecure about my grammar and pronunciation and therefore I’m just quiet and expect the other person to do the talking. I know it’s stupid and makes me look and feel like a retard but what can I do…
So if she seems to speak a lot more in her native language, you might a) learn it, or b) give her more time to become more confident in English. If the problem persist, well… erm… (just look at BFM’s post).
Nama, I dated her. It was tumultuous. It ended after various silly bickering matches. I miss the romps though - they didn’t require a lot of conversational skill!
And Quirky, are you a cyber-palm reader. That’s exactly my sentiment - she’s always lamenting her woes; how her life is so empty and dull, how there’s nothing to do or go. The list goes on.
I wonder why I bother. Guess I’m a ‘fixer’ at heart. Should really cut my losses…
[quote=“Dirt Merchant”]I’ve been pondering this for a bit, especially since living in Taiwan for the last two years, dealing with the sizeable communication gaps between English- and Mandarin-speaking peeps.
I have a friend, who herself admits she’s not a great communicator (great fornicator, OTOH!). We care about each other dearly, but there’s times when the stilted conversations and extended silences leave me wanting to gibber for the sake of sound, and have me thinking if there’s anything actually being processed upstairs. I think this not because she’s female, but rather because she seems quite vacant in these moments.
I then have another mate who literally talks non-stop. He’s tells fantastic (borderline fantasical) stories that have whoever’s listening in stitches. It’s difficult to get a word in sideways. However, this has never led me to believe that he’s a rocket scientist. Rather that he’s a good communicator and great story-teller.
Is she vacant? Is he a blabber-mouth? Is she an introvert? Is he an extrovert? How do I get her to talk more, and him less?[/quote]
I just got back from a funeral so ignore the response if you wish…
Dirt, Have you considered that maybe YOU are the boring one? I have no idea what you mean by ‘extended silences.’ That would imply that 2 people are not talking. From what you wrote it seems like you want friends who are there to ‘entertain’ you. Also, the Taiwanese are people, not toys. Just ask her why she is so quite, or do some talking yerself.
