OK, bismarck. A female poster, whose identity is to be concealed, told me that men were not supposed to be too nice - women will take advantage of that. Your somewhat insecure ex GF just tried to hide her insecurity by making your life misery.
I once heard an old prist giving this advice to a newly wedded couple: “Enjoy each other, don’t try to change each other”.
You know, you never answered the question of WHY you like this lady so much. What’s so special about her that you just have to be with her, and not someone else? Think about that question.
No - think about it.
I can not understand why so many people insist on staying in abusive relationships, or relationships that are going nowhere, relationships in which there is no real love and no real point. Are you just soooooooo AFRAID that you won’t be able to find another girl? Snap out of it! There are thousands of girls you can start dating tomorrow. Once you realize that you have other options, her power over you will diminish.
You may be thinking, “Oh, but she’s special, she’s the ONE, I LOVE her” - no, she’s not. She’s just another girl. Nothing special about her. The sooner you realize this, the better off you will be. False “Love” can work as a drug to blind you to reality. Wean yourself off her tits and stop being such a mama’s boy.
Never mind me (It’s my bday, I’m allowed some room). I messed that post up.
[quote=“Dirt Merchant”]Let me share my sad little story.
That’s the good part. In the first week of our dating I was three minutes late once. She went into a rage, spoiling the entire date and refused to talk to me for an hour because apparently this showed I had no respect for her. [/quote]
Sounds like a spoiled brat… you should have dumped her right then and there… fuck it 3 minutes… enough time for CPR still yet she could rag on for an hour about being 3 minutes late…
You can make small changes but to get a complete makeover you should have just asked her to buy your clothes for you if it was that important to her
I once put an add in the newspaper for a room mate and an absolutely gorgeous, twenty four year old Japanese girl came to check the place out. She acted like she wanted to move in but, what about this and what about the other thing and I, being so excited by the prospect of living with this doll, agreed to everything she suggested. In the end I was her slave in pretty much every sense of the word that you could imagine. She stayed for two months (and then another stint a few months later), paid her rent, and bloody near killed me. When I hear about guys taking crap like our friend here has I at first wonder what the heck but then I remember what it was like to be twenty nine and understand perfectly.
Not to rain on this thread, but some people don’t feel as though they have a choice in whether or not they stay in an abusive relationship. Especially one where the spouse threatens suicide or murder. The law, at least in Ohio does very little to protect women from domestic abuse and to help women get a divorce from an abusive husband. Hope this helps you understand why a little better.
For poor 200Club, I cannot see how you would consider having a long-term relationship with this woman. Most marriages that have gone sour usually have a few good years of a healthy relationship before they start doing the separate bedrooms and low frequency of sex. Here you’re not even legally committed to each other and you’re already accepting her disdain for you as love. It’ll be hard for you to get over, but maybe someday you’ll thank her for leaving you like this. It seems obvious from what you’ve written that she was not counting on you following her back to Taiwan and that she’s not very interested in a long-term relationship…at least not with you.
Brutal, yes, but that’s why they call it the ugly truth.
ImaniOU wrote: [quote]The law, at least in Ohio does very little to protect women from domestic abuse and to help women get a divorce from an abusive husband. Hope this helps you understand why a little better.[/quote]
How do you mean? Are the statutes in Ohio unconstitutional? That’s a pretty dire charge there.
From the cases I’ve read, it is the women in abusive relationships who 1. do not report the abuse to the police or 2. if the police are called by the neighbors, they deny there is abuse or 3. even in cases of arrest, the battered woman will not press charges. Once a woman actually begins the legal process, the law is eager to assist battered women. It is the scarcity of battered women willing to come forward and press charges that is the problem, not the police officers and court officials.
As far as the law “helping” women get divorces from abusive husbands, that’s what divorce lawyers are for.
best advice for getting over a girl, go out and find some girl that night and pound away. you will realise there are more women out there and will forget about the last one.
as for wanting to change, ive been there too. what an idiot i was for thinking that way. being nice is one thing, changing who you are to suit them is over the top. no woman is worth me changing who iam. who cares about the sex or anything, there are plenty of women out there and you are bound to find one better.
Yes, making someone else feel like a disposable Bic lighter is the best way to patch yourself up after a breakup. 
lol 
Yes, making someone else feel like a disposable Bic lighter is the best way to patch yourself up after a breakup. [/quote]
Nah,… I was in an abusive relationship with a chinese psycho lass many years back…
One day she came homew to find out that I had moved out and that as the lease was in her name, then she could keep it. Bonking her cousin first night out wasn’t the brightest idea but she never contacted me again after she found out I had boned her cousin… Why did I move?.. cause psycho tried to slice me with a knife… and told me to choose between her and my son… not a hard choice really lol
Frost - That’s exactly what I did. After I finally decided I’d had enough I went to the local 7-11, got myself a packet of Marlboro’s and went straight to my mates bar. I sat there till the wee hours of the morning smoking my lungs raw and drinking my kidneys into a stupor. It was the best I’d felt in months. The next night I met a really nice girl (not nice in the conventional sense) and we see each other when it suits us with no worries about committments etc. Yes, there are other girls out there, and there is life after the ex.
Satellite TV - You actually met the ex one night at the Armory. You probably wont remember, but I’ll enlighten you the next time I see you around. You yourself told me I was wasting my time and should run like hell. It took a few months more, but I came around.
hey mate, hang in there.
the worst is over, man.
you guys have had a decent conversation. and you probably learned a little more about yourself from her perspective. i bet you really loved her, but now is the time to gather yourself together, fill your time with other activities. and write it out here if you have to wail. nurture your sense of self and stay the course. soon enough, time will take away that numbing pain that digs deep into your guts.
in the very least, do find comfort in the funny stories that pass through this thread 
I used to do the same too, smoke non-stop till I htink the pain will go away. Then I learn that the best way to get over somebody or something is to better yourself. So I make an extra effort to focus on myself and nobody else… it is hard but I think we need to love ourselves 1st in order for us to find love…
cheesy but true.
I think it is probably a good time to move on. I mean 2 years and sex rate is falling, and not even married yet. She’s not harping you for a ring or kids.
Usually girls will withhold sex for some “unfulfilled” nonsense. Suckers usually end up married, 2 kids, a mortgage, car payments, and a dead end job before they realize they
How do you mean? Are the statutes in Ohio unconstitutional? That’s a pretty dire charge there.
From the cases I’ve read, it is the women in abusive relationships who 1. do not report the abuse to the police or 2. if the police are called by the neighbors, they deny there is abuse or 3. even in cases of arrest, the battered woman will not press charges. Once a woman actually begins the legal process, the law is eager to assist battered women. It is the scarcity of battered women willing to come forward and press charges that is the problem, not the police officers and court officials.
As far as the law “helping” women get divorces from abusive husbands, that’s what divorce lawyers are for.[/quote]
Not to go into personal details, but my mother’s ex-husband broke into our house on a few occasions and stole all sorts of electronics and left threatening messages on the phone, more than 6 months after being thrown out of the house by my mother. Because they were not officially divorced despite the fact that neighbors and relatives could vouch that he did not live there, the police washed their hands of it. Why weren’t they divorced? Because divorce lawyers cost money and he had managed to rob their joint checking account of all of it, legally. Fortunately, my relatives scraped together enough money to help her get one. The law certainly wasn’t interested until someone handed them a check.
Why don’t they press charges? You’ve apparently never had a gun held to your head and told what would happen to you and your family if you tried pressing charges. Don’t tell me what laws do to protect abused women. If they did, then there wouldn’t be a need to debate idiocies like whether or not spousal rape is less criminal than other forms of rape.
It is utterly disgusting what a guy can get away with just by being legally married to a woman. But it’s not aways that one sided either. I once knew a guy that used to get regularly beaten up by his wife. Genuine, I kid you not. Why didn’t he just leave her then? Well, in this particular case he had been involved in a motorcycle accident and was slightly brain damaged and I guess dependent on her. Maybe he didn’t know any better.
It’s sad that people should want to abuse each other in a relatiopnship that is supposed to be a haven of love and safety in an already screwed up world.
Love for the Roxy…
Here are a few lines about a girl I went out with called Roxy. She left me, I think there were other people involved!
Love for the Roxy,
Ain’t no big surprise,
Go and pour me a cup of tea,
And lets watch ‘Stars in their eyes’ (cos its wank)
Nothing to lose,
So i just sing the blues,
All the time…
I gave her my heart,
What did I get back?
A load of fucking grief,
And a full sac,
Yesterdays gone,
Now all I want is her back.
Familiarity breeds contempt, and also, well, er… familiarity!
Tom, had a few, Hill. Rhyming back with back!
#4 - she’s getting her sex elsewhere.[/quote]
It’s only fair to keep you updated.
We are still split up. But living in the same apartment. She says she is too lazy to move out. So we are in seperate rooms.
To clarify a few things. At the start it was sex 24 hours a day, seven days a week. But the last year has been once a week, then once every two weeks, and now once a month. She isn’t with someone else, I have no doubt, unless they are doing it at work!
I have tried talking to her, but she is angry now. How to placate her? I know I can do ok by myself, and I must have been a real jerk if she doesnt love me enough to leave me. I thought I was being myself. Myself isn’t enough for her, i should have worked harder than that!
Most posts have been very helpful, thankyou.