I am writing in hopes for advice, or maybe someone has had a similar situation. My ex-wife (Taiwanese) and I (American) have a divorce joint-custody agreement to allow my son to visit me in the US each year during holidays. We agreed that he will come this July for two weeks, and I have already purchased air tickets. Now she has backed out and said he can not come, with me incurring all the costs of the tickets. She also agreed to pay $500 of each ticket (she didn’t pay), but I’m not worried about that money right now - as she hardly has enough. I have not seen my son in 9 months, he is 6 years old now.
She also said he can not visit this winter either, and has now blocked all contact so I can not even speak to my son (also against our agreement). Not only does this go against all legal agreements we made at our divorce - but it is not good for my young son to be put in the middle like this, and he really needs his father in his life, just as he needs his mother. These years are so crucial in a young child’s life - I don’t want to be blocked from being a father to him. It all gives me great anxiety. Before contact was broken, I tried to calmly reason with her on this issue, but she just blows up and we get absolutely no where.
Please, if anyone can help - I greatly appreciate your time.
It is kind of a tough time right now, with the pandemic and travel restrictions. Your son would be in quarantine for a couple weeks after returning to Taiwan. Is there a way for you to visit Taiwan instead this summer? There would be 2 week quarantine period of course, but if your work gives you flexibility…
Thanks for the reply. I’m looking in to getting a JFRV via my son at their office in Atlanta. As far as I know, they still have an ARC requirement for incoming foreigners - with a new exception for business professionals from certain countries.
Although it is not ideal, I would make the trip there once their restrictions ease - I just want to see my son. However, at this point I’m not even sure she would allow me to see him even if I was there.
I sent several emails to law firms given to me by AIT, just to see what they say. However, from what I have read, this can just be a money pit without a favorable outcome.
I just want to find hope, and be there for my son, regardless of what sacrifices I have to make. The only sacrifice I am unwilling to make is not being a present father.
Thanks again to y’all, and anyone else who takes the time to read my thread.
The many stories I’ve read on here about similar situations rarely work out well for the foreigner once things get legal. The Law is the continuation of negotiation by other means, and from what I’ve seen on forumosa is if you can negotiate without legal recourse you’re more likely to get a favorable result. Of course, if she’s broken off all contact that won’t be possible.
Yes I’ve read a lot of similar stories that it is one thing to have a custody agreement but if the local ex spouse decides to get nasty and deny visits nobody seems willing to help.
Police say it’s a civil matter, judges will tell her to let you see the kid but no punishment if she refuses, but if you show up at her door uninvited you’re getting arrested and deported. And since there is no agreements between USA and Taiwan, they won’t send the kid back even with an American court order.
OP definitely needs a local lawyer but from the scary stuff I’ve read here over the years…
It’s heart breaking not being able too see your own child. But consider the timing. Do you really want to remove him from the safe bubble from the virus Taiwan has created? Do you want to risk exposing him to probable infection from a long flight or even yourself by coming here?
As hard as it is to do, try to put your feelings aside just a bit until things get better virus wise.
I have a USA divorce decree stating my tw ex share our son.
She has never followed our parenting plan.
And US wont help me.
So i moved to taiwan to make a stand.
And tw court is full of bullshit, so much that im here in tw court asking to have our US agreement honored and they send my to mediation instead of enforcing my issue. And in mediation my tw ex has acted like she would follow a 1 year mediation agreement and now she has cut me off 100% again
So im taking her to civil court to have tw mediation Rules enforced and i paid $3000nt to make her follow and they wont fine her or do anything but tell me step by step , give her a chance?!?!?!
Wtf she has broken usa judge ordered parenting plan for 7 years and now breaking tw rules , why no fine or enforcement? There is a pattern formed.
Im frustrated, and yes i have lawyers helping me, but they are bullshit and literally a joke.
Having been through this and not seeing my child for 15 years I really feel for you. In my case the courts were very fair, gave me the visitation rights I requested, etc.
However my ex just ignored the court order and as other posters have said the police won’t touch it. They say it is civil. I spent tons of money and time, but eventually I just gave up. There is just simply no way to enforce it.
As I told my friend who is going through the same shit, suck it up and kiss her ass. If you can’t do that, just give up.
unfortunately that often seems the case. At least you as a father want to see your child. I knew of someone (tw girl) who went to America to meet up with her American Dad only to find out he really did not give two hoots about her. Now that is pretty sad too.
I know many heartbreaking stories about parents being separated from their children, mostly foreign mothers in my circle.
But given current circumstances, even the most rational and friendly mother would not allow the child to travel to the US. Not now, not in winter. No one is traveling this year.
Yes, you had agreed. These are extraordinary circumstances. But there is even a recommendation, practically an order for school kids NOT to travel outside of Taiwan. She is right not to allow him to travel. It is not to piss you off.
No one knows how long Taiwan will be safe or how long we can keep air routes. This pandemic could take a turn for the worse. What if the kid gets sick on route? It is not only the cost of medical treatment but the gamble on your kid’s health and life. For many kids it is the flu, for others death. That is not a reasonable thing to ask of anyone to allow.
Please be patient. Yes, you want to see the kid. Awesome. If you can come, great, but please be ready to comply with safety protocols. If you can’t come, remember this is greater than you or your ex wife’s relationship. You do not have to be here to be there for the kid. Do what’s best for him.
I sincerely hope you are right. However, if she didnt state that as a reason, even if only a BS excuse, it is clearly a you to the dad.
I have been through this, still am waiting for my Exs next new personality to show its glorious head, and it almost always ends bad for the foreigner. Living.outside Taiwan is even worse.
My suggestion, though perhaps not possible via a jfrv based on your child(?), is register your arc address in a less useless county. Every county, even city, handles things differently. And my long exhausting .experiences have put these counties on my shitlist. taipei, taoyuan, taichung, chunghua, tainan, koahsiung and .pingtung. They dint even deserve a spell check. interestingly Taitung was amazingly helpful. So the reason i.suggest registering your arc in a less.retarded county is.because when.you file a court case and.consult.with social services the court case will be in YOUR county. And if she is the evil tiger mom type, she will HATE that and prefer to.settle rather than .mafen. If she doeant show up, better for your case.
Its.hard being out.of.country. By the grace of god somehow I got my aprc after a.5 year fight so.i am allowed to stay and fight for my kid…others not .so lucky. To be honest, being outside the country and the whole ccp virus problem, things are even more in her favor despite the usual racism, sexism and general incompetence seen at every level of.government here Wish you the best buddy.