Pleasing a woman?
Here’s an easy analogy:
clitoris is to a female as penis is to a male
The problem is a lot of guys don’t even know where the clitoris is located. I’ve seen studies where only about half of the guys asked could correctly identify the clitoris on a diagram of a woman’s body.
If you’re a guy and you don’t know, do some research immediately!
Also, society reinforces the idea that intercourse is all it takes to get a woman off. Society is totally geared towards men’s sexual preferences while ignoring or suppressing the desires of women. How many pornos have you seen where a guy manually stimulates the woman’s clitoris for the 10-20 minutes that it takes for a woman to achieve orgasm? I’ve yet to see that!
Women are labelled cold or abnormal if they somehow can’t achieve orgasm by intercourse alone, when the fact is that is not abnormal at all! While some pleasure can be had from intercourse, if there is no clitoral stimulation, the likelyhood of a woman achieving orgasm is next to nil.
Add to this the fact that some women themselves (particularly younger women) can be ignorant about their own bodies. Many women that I’ve talked to admit that they discovered their clitoris and how to orgasm somewhat accidently.
For the woman who does know how to please herself, teaching her man how to please her can be a frustrating experience. Men are very sensitive about this issue and can get really defensive when a woman makes suggestions. Some guys are also just downright impatient and unwilling to do what it takes to please a woman.
In order for women and men to have mutually satisfying sexual experiences I believe there needs to be a paradigm shift, especially on the part of the man.
I hope I’ve explained this clearly from a female perspective. I don’t want to talk about my experiences personally, but am happy to discuss this issue “theoretically” if it can help someone.