Hi Everyone!
I just moved to Taiwan with my wife a few weeks ago. I am studying here and enjoy a lot of things about being here.
But I am having some trouble settling in. I get the sense a lot of people don’t like me or wish I wan’t here.
I am married to someone from Taiwan. We met back in the US, and decided to come here to study. She is working and I am studying, so we are all set for work/school. But I am finding it hard to get used to the climate, the air pollution, the culture shock, and the lack of friendliness.
We are living in the South, and some people have told me that might have something to do with it. I hear people are more accepting in Taipei. I have been told I am facing discrimination because many people don’t like to see someone from the US studying here and / or being with a woman from Taiwan. Is that true?
About 85% of the people I see ignore me, another 10% glare at me when I am out, and maybe 5% smile at me.
Would some of you who have been living here for a long time try and offer some suggestions? We will be here for 3 years at least, so I am hoping to find a way to make things easier.
Thanks for your help!
I did my best to see if this was the right place to put this post. Sorry if it is in the wrong section.
Why would you expect strangers on the street to do anything other than ignore you? There are plenty of places in the world where people will come up to chat with you friendly-like, and in those places you’d better make sure you’re wearing a stabproof vest and got your wallet in safe place.
As Lupy said, if 5% of the people are smiling at you, you can hardly complain about negative discrimination. I don’t think anybody smiles at me, ever, whatever country I’m in.
Yes, there are probably a few taike (1% of the population) who have got that “foreigners stealing our wimmin” thing going on. The other 99% aren’t interested in your life one way or the other. Just try and relax a bit. It’s normal to be a bit disoriented. Start learning some everyday Chinese so that you can at least communicate in shops and restaurants and read some common characters: for some reason, it starts to feel like home when you can read signs that say “don’t park here” or “dry cleaning”.
I should have clarified: I’m talking about people in my building where I am studying.
Some of them know my wife and yet ignore me anyway. Anyone else on here that has some advice, maybe without the attitude?
I’m from a big city back home.
I know the difference between someone that ignores you just to get around and people that look “past” you.
Well, Taiwan is culturally Chinese, which is an insider-outsider culture. You have in-groups and out-groups. Being a foreigner here, you are in the out-group. Just something you will have to deal with while here.
Thing is, you can’t expect to rock up in a completely alien culture on the other side of the planet and expect an instant circle of buddies. It just ain’t going to happen. You’re going to spend at least a year year feeling disoriented and probably a bit miserable. You’ll go through a whole bunch of well-documented ‘culture shock’ emotions and then, suddenly, you’ll find that one day you’re a standard-issue curmudgeonly expat, just like everyone else on forumosa.
In the meantime, don’t try to hard. Those people looking askance at you are probably just wondering if you know what ‘早安’ means, cos if you don’t there’s no point in them talking to you. Learn to enjoy your own company. Enjoy your own social circle - which realistically is going to be your wife and her friends/family. Observe how stuff works. Sit on the roof and drink Taiwan Beer and watch the neighbours doing funny Taiwanese things. Go to KTV and 快炒 restaurants and Eslite and ChungXiao Dong Lu. Just walk around and watch and listen. You’ll absorb all you need to know by osmosis. Do go and read the ‘newbie questions’ thread though.
Not much to add, as it’s pretty well summed up by finley, but, bottom line, don’t worry too much about people staring/glaring, etc. I’ve been in elevators in the buildings we’ve lived in here where some people have greeted my wife (Taiwanese) very warmly, then turned to me and glared at me like I’ve just taken a shit on the floor - and, to make matters even more bizarre, vice versa. It’s weird, but something you have to find a way to deal with, and it takes a while. Don’t even try to figure out why some people do this. It often makes me laugh when it happens to me, which makes the person doing the glaring feel very awkward. I like that.
Thanks that actually helps a lot. Just wanted to hear someone offer their experiences and encouragement. It helps to know someone else went through a similar feeling.
I don’t see here any discrimination (as the title suggest).
When you just moved here (define just) then welcome to a complete different culture which is not like the Chinese restaurant in your previous neighborhood
Following up with your points:
Climate: No choice, it’s hot in summer and cold in winter, you have to get through. (In Taipei can get more cold, so stay in the south )
Air pollution: you probably live in Kaohsiung. However, this doesn’t happen so often, outside the big cities it’s getting better. (Once again, Taipei is also not better)
Culture shock: you will get used to the culture, takes roughly 1 to 50 years
Lack of friendliness: Which lack of friendliness?
Taiwan and lack of friendliness sounds like a contradiction to me.
My advise: be friendly, greet your neighbors, learn some basic Chinese, smile.
Don’t expect that Taiwanese make the first step, you are a guest in this country.
Btw. I live here since 13 years and Taiwan never stopped to amaze me.
Taiwanese are friendly and helpful
Not exactly the same situation here, but I’m half Korean and Taiwanese and mostly grew up in the states. I also stick out like a sore thumb being 190 and 95kgs so I don’t know if it’s the way I dress, or because I’m so much bigger than locals that people instantly like categorize me into the ABC group even though I’m fluent in Chinese and was born here.
I ended up just making friends with foreigners from many European countries, even though I’m American, I find other Americans annoying for some reason. And locals see me as this different species or something it’s hard to explain due to my height and I train a lot for sports so I’m significantly more muscular than most locals. Locals don’t treat me badly, it’s really me that end up not wanting to hang out with them as I’ve seen more of the world and my ideology and such is just really different.
The way Ive made friends here in actually through sports. I play in a baseball league, Gaelic football, basketball, boxing and MMA.
One thing I notice is that with locals they react one of 2 ways to me. They are extremely interested in me in kind of a annoying way. Like I’m Taiwanese too, I was born here and went to elementary school here.
Or they are afraid to try to talk to me unless I show that I can actually speak Chinese. An example is I was trying to sell a baseball glove to this lady that wanted it for her son. I really wanted to talk to her about the price and make sure the right person gets the glove as it’s a glove I cared for. So I keep telling her to call me. It went on for like 3 days where I’m like call me and we can talk and she instead messages me in broken English that I can’t understand. I think it’s when I actually sent a voice message speaking Chinese that she got her husband to call me. She was basically afraid to talk to me thinking I can’t speak Chinese.
At the end of the day, I gave up on being in with any group. I hang out with people who I feel comfortable with from the beginning and not have to try to fit in and get them to open up.
Personally I find the air pollution pretty manageable in summer all over the island. Obviously it’s no New Zealand but the sky is blue for the most part from like May/June to September (when it’s sunny).
Winter could be rough though, especially in the south. Prepare for or at least expect the worst when fall starts.
well it wouldn’t be any better in the north. people definitely oogle more in the south but they will be friendlier too.
for a start, the oogling is harmless. gormless, but harmless. taiwanese are pretty welcoming. people are non confrontational here. if you are really put off by someone staring in a rude way then you can stare back and they will stop it and get on with their boring life.
as for the people ignoring you, thats the culture here. people generally mind their own business. you are free to do whatever you like, even grow a mullet, people dont give a fuck! i’ve seen it.
when i first came i felt a bit uncomfortable too but that will go as you get acclimatised.
where are you living btw? i went to tainan recently and it was clear skys everyday.
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