[quote=“Puppet”][quote=“Novaspes”][quote=“bonzifan”]The exam had a write polite sentances using the following…
would you like…
May I…
Pass me…
For pass me the kid wrote " I hope I pass me exam."[/quote]
That’s almost correct grammar for Pirate English. He still missed the “Arr!” at the end.[/quote]
Arrrrr…you can’t steal me joke from de post befer without askin’ me first. Arrrrrr…[/quote]
No no, I wasn’t stealing your joke, rather pointing out that even his Pirate English needs improving.
Last week I’m teaching short ‘u’ as in ‘cut’ vs long ‘u’ as in ‘cute’. Class of second year young learners.
I point to the word ‘cut’
Timmy: Cunt!
Me: What!?
Timmy: Cunt!
Me: There’s no ‘n’.
Timmy: Cunt!
Me: (louder) There’s no ‘n’!
Timmy: (struggling) Cunt!
Me: (shouting) There’s no bloody ‘n’, how can it be ‘cunt’ !??
Timmy: (confused) Cunt.
Me: CUT! CUT! There’s no bloody ‘n’ in CUT! :fume: :roflmao:
“R shouldn’t stare at his dick when TG teaches.”
“My teacher said I needed to fuck us.”
“It’s pronounced ‘focus’.”
New classroom. This one’s audio-visual screen goes up and down with a couple of the buttons in a 12-button (dunno why so many) Mandarin-labelled control panel, which caused me a bit of fumbling, though I got it eventually.
End of class, girl comes up and says, confidential-stylee:-
“Teacher, can I help you get it up?”
I choked a bit, (especially when I saw it slowly dawn on her what she’d said, blushing through “prettily” toward “puce”. This is a fairly advanced class) but I more or less held it together until after I’d replied
“No thanks, I’'ll manage by myself”
and realised what I’d said.
Then I hurt myself.
By getting it up? :eh: You may want to see a doctor about that.
I can’t think of anything they’ve said. But on one test paper they had to answer questions about the story and the correct answer for one was “Grandma rode on the bike”.
One of my students wrote “Grandma rode on the dick”. I couldn’t stop laughing.
By getting it up? :eh: You may want to see a doctor about that.[/quote]
Don’t know me own strenf.
“You already did” would have been a better/more accurate reply above, but I was already in enough trouble.
I don’t quite remember all the silly things my students said, but i do remember what the principal said to me during lunch. He enjoyed practicing his English with us foreigners. He mentioned how practicing his English was great for stimulating his mind. He said we should go speak with the Chinese female teachers so that we can stimulate them. Ha ha ha.
Student wrote
“My breasts have milk and bread”
IIRC she was answering the question “What do you normally have for breakfast?”
‘I try to incorporate Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligences into materials design.’
[quote=“Ducked”]Student wrote
“My breasts have milk and bread”
IIRC she was answering the question “What do you normally have for breakfast?”[/quote]
I’m trying and fortunately failing to picture this. But uh, different strokes for different folks, I guess.
“She has good oral skills.”
[quote=“Hokwongwei”][quote=“Ducked”]Student wrote
“My breasts have milk and bread”
IIRC she was answering the question “What do you normally have for breakfast?”[/quote]
I’m trying and fortunately failing to picture this. But uh, different strokes for different folks, I guess.[/quote]
Could have been worse. Could have been “toast”.
I hate that.
“I like cock, because cock often make an impression of refreshing people and makes me feel cool.”
She didn’t learn that from me. :ohreally:
Not about a student, but i had to review a paper which insistently and repeatedly claimed their device granted the authors “an exceptionally high cunt rate”.
Thinks: Would an exceptionally high cunt give a tall foreigner a selective advantage?
Are we off-topic yet?
‘She only uses that word when it’s Scottish for amigo. Or to punctuate a sentence when deflatin’ my wee ego.’
What manner of device, Nova?
Bets its something boring like a geiger/scintillation counter. (Go’in for Geek here)
[quote=“Ermintrude”]‘She only uses that word when it’s Scottish for amigo. Or to punctuate a sentence when deflatin’ my wee ego.’
[/quote]
Or in tactical briefing, when on night reconnaissance we go