Ghosted After 3rd Date

Life Dating & Relationships
1

I’ve been dating this girl for several weeks now and went on a date with her recently in the past couple of days. It was the 3rd date. I will be honest and say it didn’t go as well as I had planned because I was very sick the week before and did not properly plan ahead. However she really wanted to meet and seemed excited about it so I put together a plan last minute and we went out.

Anyhow, we grabbed lunch, and then went to the mall to do some shopping to walk off the food. Then we had planned to go ice skating. The problem was, when we arrived, the line was so long it was not worth the wait. She didn’t want to wait either, but now we had no other activities to do and there was nothing else in the area except cafes (and we’ve done a lot of those). Anyhow I suggested she came over to my place to watch some Netflix and she agreed.

We arrived at my place and unfortunately the AC literally broke the prior night, but she seemed okay with it. Anyhow we chilled on the coach as we watched Netflix. I am a believer that not every girl invited over to watch films want to hook up, and I am very careful seeing how girls respond to physical touch, advances etc. This girl seemed very neutral when I touched her lightly, and she didn’t really lean in towards me when we were watching the film.

She also was quite conservative and was the type of person who wasn’t comfortable hugging after the first date. So I kept that all in mind. It seemed like she wasn’t there to hookup, based on all of the social cues and body language, and I was cool with it. She did enjoy the movie we watched, and we did have a lot of laughs.

Anyhow she had to leave soon after since she lives in a different city, so I walked her outside. Asked if she needed me to call her a taxi, she said no. So I initiated a hug again, and she accepted it but seemed very hesitant. This made me feel weird because it’s literally the 3rd date and she wasn’t responding positively to my escalation. Mind you the first date I had asked if I could kiss her and she said she was not comfortable, so it isn’t a matter of me not having the balls to try it. I’ve just been trying to gauge her comfort level and responding accordingly. This is also how I reached the conclusion that this “Netflix and Chill” session was probably not going to be a hookup, since she was so hesitant to hugging and kissing on prior dates (However she liked me enough to come out to 2 more dates?)

So I text her about 24 hours later to see how she was doing, and no response. It’s been another 24 hours since, ghosted. I don’t know exactly what I did wrong, where I screwed up exactly or if its not me at all. But I’d like some insight if anyone has any. Is there something culturally I am missing? I am Asian American btw, grew up in the states.

Thanks!

2

Forget about her sounds like very hard work.

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3

What did you watch on Netflix?

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4

Some anime she suggested. Had no idea what it was but she enjoyed it quite a lot

5

yea perhaps you’re right. She is a beauty though which is probably why most men put up with this kind of shit :joy:

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6

She don’t like you.

On to the next one.

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7

is it normal for Taiwanese girls to ghost? Maybe I’m used to American girls but if a girl just said she wasn’t interested it would make this process a lot easier. I get 1 date, but 3 dates and ghosting, feels very bad mannered to me

8

I wouldn’t think of this as a Taiwan vs other places thing. People just ghost all the time.

In my experience, if you didn’t get a kiss by the 2nd date there’s no chemistry.

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9

Who knows. It’s the millennium.

Ghost her back. Ten to one she’ll reach out to you in a month and ask why you ghosted her. :roll_eyes:

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10

Text her you enjoyed the date but enjoyed the date the day afterwards with someone else 10X more…then cold silence.

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11

I get that, but why go on a 3rd date, then talk on the phone with me for 4 hours multiple times throughout the week, etc if they are not interested. I was taken aback honestly when she wasn’t even reciprocating a hug after the 3rd date. First time its happened. These instances just confuse me.

12

haha I think this is what I’ll do

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13

You young folks are wonderfully sensitive but damn. I’ve been married for 25 years and I’ve never spent four hours in the phone with my wife, ever.

Don’t play it cool, be cool. :sunglasses:

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14

Because women will do that.

Happens to the best of us which is why I said no kiss on the 2nd date is done for me even if I’m really into the girl. I’ve had similar but they have told me they weren’t interested instead of ghosting. Idk why they went out with me 3-4 times before deciding and us men will probably never understand :man_shrugging:

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15

The enigma of women. I will never understand. Good job standing your ground though. I don’t think it’s worth investing in women like that so good on you.

16

thanks man, I will be cool :sunglasses:

17

image

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18

I’ve had a couple say they weren’t into me, after 1 to many dates. Never ghosted

Maybe she’s just thinking of her next move, deciding what she wants and weighing other options. 48 hours isn’t that long, just chill another 48 hours and see what happens. Maybe she’s just busy

Is it on Line? Can you see if the message has been read?

19

Does 24 hours count as ghosting? I’m 20 odd years out of the loop when it comes to dating etiquette.

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20

Asking if you can kiss is one of the best ways to turn a woman off in any culture. Nothing could be more awkward and unromantic. Screams lack of confidence and inability to read whether the woman is into you or not.

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