We are living examples of Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity, except in reverse. While we travel, romping around the world (or at least around Asia), everyone back home stays almost the same and it seems like we have hundreds of experiences here for each of the ones they have there. When I talk to my friends from school, I feel like I have lived twice as much as they have. As much as I would like to think that I could settle down in either Asia or Europe for the rest of my life, I suspect that I will inevitably be drawn back to the US. I am already experiencing some cultural turbulence and I am just now approaching my 4th anniversary of being in Taiwan.
Were things better “back then?”
I’ve been back in Canada for five years now. I have a dream job, I make good money, and I own a cool old house in a cool neighbourhood in an arty town. I drive a Lexus. I spend Saturdays in Toronto seeing the sights and eating food from around the world (that’s real food from around the world, not pretend like in Taiwan).
But when I think back to my days schlepping as an ESL teacher Taiwan I get this sense of longing and regret that they’re over. The friends, studying Chinese, playing drums in a band, riding a motorcycle, going over to Thailand or Hong Kong, getting to know various people from all over as they came and went, life was in flux, and it was good. It was my early thirties. Those days will never be back, and the frisson of this exquisite misery comes from knowing that trying to relive them as I near 40 would not work.
Yet here I am posting on Forumosa. Why? Well, my job is language-related, so I retain an interest in and contact with all things Chinese/Taiwanese. My wife is Taiwanese.
I miss those old days, and derive great pleasure from meeting friends I made at that time, though the pleasure is extremely rare, as they’re all in England, New Zealand, the USA, etc.
Sigh…
You ARE cool! 
Would it break your heart to find out that everyone from “back home” had millions and billions of experiences compared to your hundreds? Would it hurt your feelings to discover that your friends actually thought you were the one missing out on life?
Its amazing what lengths people will go to to convince themselves that the amount of time they have wasted busking in Taipei’s shoddy cram school scene was actually worth it. “Yeah man! Teaching cram school kindy is livin’ man!”
But more on topic…
The easiest way to adjust to life back home is to always keep at least one foot there. Don’t go native while in a foriegn country. Everyone has met folks that basically turned their back on the developed country they came from and jumped head first into third-world disaster without ever looking back. According to the folks at AIT, its these guys (women are rarely if ever this stupid) that give them the biggest headache as they will never fit in to the Taiwanese culture and were never able to fit in back home. If you see yourself as a visitor in a foreign land, which you always will be in Taiwan, your adjustment back home will consist of nothing more than jet lag.
[quote=“taiwanisfunny”]
Everyone has met folks that basically turned their back on the developed country they came from and jumped head first into third-world disaster without ever looking back. According to the folks at AIT, its these guys (women are rarely if ever this stupid) that give them the biggest headache [/quote]
Are you saying that Taiwan is a third world country? If so maybe you should pay a bit more attention to the world.
Tell me more about what the folks at AIT have told you. How do these people cause them headaches?
It’s difficult not to go “native”. I’ve found myself seeking and finding Mandarin conversations in Thailand although I’ve never had craving for the smells or taste of Stingky Tofu.
I’ve met people who’ve been ex-pats in Western countries and have also said when they go back home, the conversations are still the same however I often leave Taiwan to get away from conversations about teaching English and the nuances of the English language.
By the way, there are more places in Taiwan than Taipei.
Would it break your heart to find out that everyone from “back home” had millions and billions of experiences compared to your hundreds? Would it hurt your feelings to discover that your friends actually thought you were the one missing out on life?
Its amazing what lengths people will go to to convince themselves that the amount of time they have wasted busking in Taipei’s shoddy cram school scene was actually worth it. “Yeah man! Teaching cram school kindy is livin’ man!” [/quote]
Have you read this thread or others like it? I doubt it because if you did you probably would have noticed that a lot of the people here experience the same thing on their return home. Namely that having lived in another culture, learned a language and spent time teaching has given them a perspective on life that people back home frequently lack. If Imaniou or anyone else here says that this makes them feel a bit distanced from their friends back home, who are you to question that? And who are you to make assumptions about the kind of school that Imaniou works at? She is a dedicated teacher and is certainly not required to accept insults from you. I hope she comes back here a rips you a new one.
Hmm…traveller person has been living in Taiwan and travelling throughout Asia, while friends back in Fartknuckle, Saskatchewan have never left.
Without making value judgments on the sedentary versus the mobile lifestyle, I don’t think there are that many people who “stayed home” who would seriously think that the traveller was the one “missing out on life.”
I think its interesting that many posters on this site must exagerate the value of their Taiwan experience by downplaying the experiences of their so called friends and family back home.
I believe you meant to type, “lived in another country.” Most countries consist of many different cultures. The United States as well as England are perfect examples.
You actually left your home country to learn a foreign language? You definately need to get out of the house more often. There are more opportunities to learn a multitude of foreign languages in the United States than there are in Taiwan.
I’m not assuming anything about imaniou’s school. If you are a real dedicated (American in this situation) K-12 teacher, you’ll be working at TAS or KAS. If your not a “real” teacher, then yes, I am poking fun at all of you…
Taiwanisfunny is doing an excellent job at giving us a good idea of how some persons around you might react upon your return. In my opinion, the worst part about the reverse culture shock are the people who somehow feel threatened by you or seem to be jealous and therefore constantly try to belittle you, your experiences and your readjustment troubles.
Well, sweetie, it ain’t exactly Switzerland. Have you ever seen Taoyuan?
Well, to tell the truth, I’m not all that interested in what taiwanisfunny thinks of my years in Taiwan. I don’t even really care what my friends and family who stayed behind think about it. I know what I have got out of being here. I’m aware that I’ve paid a certain price for it, and I still think that in terms of the life I want to lead and the person I want to be it is excellent value.
I have gone more native than some, but not as native as others!
There are questions I do have, as a gay man that for the foreseeable future can never have the security of a legally recognised relationship here and who wants to keep some kind of a base in Europe.
I want to know how to go ‘home’ and make a go of that. Ideally, I want to spend a few months of every year in Taiwan. It’s one reason for accepting a job in a university which I hope will allow me to come back periodically for study / work.
I do believe that if you are a certain kind of person and you have had a certain kind of experience here you will be marked by it pretty much permanently. It s a question of how to make that work and keep a real connection going without living as a spiritual exile back in your original country.
[quote][b]I don’t even really care what my friends and family who stayed behind think about it. I know what I have got out of being here. I’m aware that I’ve paid a certain price for it, and I still think that in terms of the life I want to lead and the person I want to be it is excellent value.
I have gone more native than some, but not as native as others! [/b][/quote]
Well put there…
Why do you all judge yourselves so hard? 
You’ve made a life outside of your native land. :bravo: :bravo:
Don’t stop to compare it with what people have or do from once whence you came. :loco: :loco:
Let’s not check out the have’s and have nots. 
There’s more to life than fried grits and bacon.
Why is it that some people are irked over the fact that many xpats have become comfortable over here and don’t really want to move back over there?
Perhaps they of the over there are so unhappy in their own lives that they wouldn’t like us to be happy in ours. Maybe me living up here in the mountains away from all those city folk helps.
No material possesions to compare, nothing to spend my money on, and no job to make me aggravated, and no traffic jams or parking woes. 
I do my shopping on the internet or by email and get everything delivered by 7/11.
I reckon I got my bubble shaped just right… outside of it you all don’t exist and time moves at a stress free relaxed pace.
Going Home… I do it everyday…
[quote=“Satellite TV”]I reckon I got my bubble shaped just right… outside of it you all don’t exist and time moves at a stress free relaxed pace.
Going Home… I do it everyday…[/quote]
Maybe its partly what is behind your front door when you go home. No matter where you are.
I just visited a friend on the weekend who moved from what I could only describe as a mausaleum. Typical of the free standing concrete grey structures here.
He is now in a three story bright airy house with great views and a park right outside for his kids. They all look happier.
I lived in a temporary bungalow thing on top of an 8 story building held down by twisted rusty wire. Upgraded to an 8th story apartment actually inside a building. Then moved to a secure mountain area with a 2 level house that overlooks park area and a small waterfall.
Small upgrades in happiness level at each move. 
Yes, someone from a Western country who hasn’t done it may never appreciate quite what it takes to become comfortable in a place like Taiwan. Nor how the process of becoming so changes a person…
It’s not for everyone… but there can’t be many enterprises more challenging. Or more exciting!
I remember during my first time in Taiwan, when I was a summer student in Shi Da, how I used to stand in the middle of Da An Park in the evening and look at the sky and the flashing neon advertisements all around the park… all in Chinese characters that I was beginning to be able to read. And I used to think how amazing it was that a guy from a small town in Ireland could find himself in such a different world and even start to make some rudimentary sense of it.
It’s how to keep as much of that as possible once you have decided to re-engage with the place from whence you came - that’s the question.
[quote=“taiwanisfunny”] You actually left your home country to learn a foreign language? You definately need to get out of the house more often. There are more opportunities to learn a multitude of foreign languages in the United States than there are in Taiwan.
I’m not assuming anything about imaniou’s school. If you are a real dedicated (American in this situation) K-12 teacher, you’ll be working at TAS or KAS. If your not a “real” teacher, then yes, I am poking fun at all of you…[/quote]
You dig yourself a deeper hole with each posting. Studying a second language in your home country is nothing like studying in a country where that language is spoken.
I’m guessing that three quarters of the teachers in the States would die for half the freedom I enjoy. I have NO supervisor. Imagine that if you can. Between me and my adult students we decide what to do. I’m free to experiment and change as I see fit. The only thing that restrains me is the expectations of my students. It is a fantastic situation to be in, and if you can’t understand that I won’t waste my time responding to you again.
Um, English is is a second language in many parts of the Southwest.
[quote=“bob”]You dig yourself a bigger hole with each posting. Studying a second language in your home country is nothing like studying in a country where that language is spoken.
I’m guessing that three quarters of the teachers in the States would die for half the freedom I enjoy. I have NO supervisor. Imagine that if you can. Between me and my adult students we decide what to do. I’m free to experiment and change as I see fit. The only thing that restrains me is the expectations of my students. It is a fantastic situation to be in, and if you can’t understand that I won’t waste my time responding to you again.[/quote]
Actually the teachers in the United States are allowed a great deal of freedom regarding method and delivery. Not only do they have the experience to do this but the education to back it up, which would be somewhat similar to the Taiwanese teachers in the public school system in Taiwan. Teachers in the US also have state standards and expectations to meet as well which is a bit more developed and researched based than someone following the Happy Marian or Joy English school handouts. I am curious to the research you have used to back up your experimentation with your students.
Do I know what it is like to work in an environment with no supervisor? Actually I do. Twice a year the principal stops by my classroom for an informal observation. My students meet state and district standards/goals and it is oh so nice to have a secured position. I make more money now than I did when I taught in Taiwan. Oops! Did I just let that out of the bag? Yes, I did teach in Taiwan which means I know the game because I have already played it.
Spanish speakers make up more than 22 million of the population in the United States. Additionally, there are over 13 million Asians living in the United States. Do you mean to tell me that if I wanted to learn a foreign language, I would have to hop on a plane and travel to a different country?
Oh, and bobby, no need to waste your time responding. I’m above and beyond the level of shleping at backalley cram schools so I honestly don’t believe we have much in common, unless you would like some career advice.
You don’t have a clue what I do and I don’t give a shit what you do so I’m prepared to call it a day on this one. Cheers.
A quote for the OP: [quote=“Tom Waits”] I’m leaving my family, I’m leaving all my friends. My battle’s at home but my heart is in the wind where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky. My tears are salt water and the moon is full and high…Shiver me timbers…[/quote]
best,
hatch a fairwell