How do you Americans feel about this study that says that 25 % of Americans have no friends … why would that be, paranoia? They say it’s long working hours and surfing the internet … is it?
A translation of the Belgian newspaper:
The original is here gva.be/nieuws/in_de_rand/default.asp?art={5705471A-9090-4815-B4CF-6D04B8C35765}
But as think about it a little longer … would it be different in other countries?
I don’t think I have ever met anyone who has no friends…I have plenty.
I find it hard to believe anywhere.
I assume this study was done in America but a quick google search shows nothing.
maybe 25 % of people are more anti-social than the other 75%.
maybe the 25% are those who have left their homes behind to seek a new life elsewhere, and have yet to find any good friends because they moved to this new place for the advancement of their careers, and that is their focus right now.
maybe the 25% are getting older, and all their friends have married, settled down, are having kids, and now their former friends are in a new circle.
even if i was in one of these groups i still consider friends i had years ago to be my friends, even if i haven’t seen them in years. once a friend, always a friend, in my mind. i have known many super good friends, but now many of them live a thousand miles away, have careers and families. but they are still my friends. and when you do have that contact, even if rare, you go right back to that strong feeling of friendship.
this weekend a good friend is getting married. i have several friends coming to stay at my house, some of whom i have not seen in 3 or 4 years. even with this time period between us, the friendship stays right on course. it’s refreshing.
jm
I think its because this generation 1)doesn’t have real families, and 2) never learns to take critism and just go with it. These days you can’t have a good ol’fashioned argument with anyone and make up over a beer afterwards. Now it has to get all dramatic and you’ve eventually got to just leave, because you don’t want drama and you can’t bear the thought of being around someone who doesn’t think you’re perfect. A few go rounds of that and you have people just giving up on it altogether.
wow redandy,
does someone have some issues??!!
good grief, you are saying a lot more about yourself with these statements.
i don’t know what age group you are referring to but i have had just as many fights with my friends as i have with my family over the years, and guess what, we know we are all human, so they are still my friends. and often better friends for getting the chance to really know each other.
someone doesn’t think you are perfect? oh dear! the horror. somehow you have just got to convince them that you are, in fact, perfect.
wow
I’m incapable of keeping friends. I make new contacts easily which means I’m not a(nti)social but they always seem to disappear after a (quite a short) while. I’m still trying to figure out what exactly I’m doing wrong, cause I’m not at all happy with the situation.
Perhaps the sarcasm there didn’t come through.
I read the CNN story on the survey and yeah, they’re probably right that commuting time, longer work hours, etc, are the main factors. I read a critique in the Washington Post that suggested that there may be a bigger picture in that people find other types of relationships either online or through coworkers that aren’t exactly “frineds,” but still provide some meaningful socializing. Although, in all seriousness, I do think that in general people have become a little more protective, and are less likely to strike up a conversation with a stranger in a bar or other public settings.
Oh, we here in Taiwan are still your friends! Don’t be silly!
Hello little Piglet! :flowers: :yinyang: :hubba:
Shortest night of the year tonight, isn’t it? Don’t Estonians do something primal on this night?
notsu,
what do you consider a friend? you just have contact with someone does not mean you are “friends”. if you put the extra effort to develop something it might be different.
friendships can be like coupling though. you meet some people through friends or at work or the gym or whatever, and you seem to have things in common, so you gravitate toward each other. over time, though, you will either slowly build something, or you will slowly go your separate ways.
maybe you just need to take the initiative in continuing the relationship and see what happens. many people are shy and if two shy people meet and want to be friends they may each rely on the other do make the next move. since it may not happen, they both feel a loss. it just takes one phone call, or one invitation out, or whatever.
Oh, we here in Taiwan are still your friends! Don’t be silly![/quote]
I wasn’t trying to make you pity me. Just saying that finding friends is sometimes easier than keeping them, and it’s not always the case of being antisocial, a workoholic or addicted to computer games. And the internet has been a great help in finding new people to meet in real - I was much more isolated before Forumosa and some other chats/communities I’ve been visiting. I even tried online dating for a few weeks. 
PS Would you “ventilate your heart” at me, Dragonbones? 
Yeah, after a little bit of editing to intentionally misquote your post, I think I can identify. 
:s
Typical me goes out once a week and is desperate to get in touch with someone - ANYone really. I usually call several people and most of them have something else to do. Always. I’ve got one person who I think is quite like a friend - but he’s 22 years older than me and spends half the time telling jokes about burning jews… Yeah, I think he’s the closest to a friend I have. Not sure how he feels about me though - maybe he’s still hoping to get laid. 
I’m clearly doing something very wrong, I just need to find out what it is. I will have lots of friends one day - as soon as I’ve managed to become a better person. 
And don’t cry Mod Lang - I’ve got the same thing with guys as well. Except that I think I know what I do wrong there…
Hey, I thought you hated ‘dirty old men’, now you have a dirty old man as a friend … 
They are all jealous of your body, that’s all.
Actually, I went through much of the same thing a few years ago. I don’t know what to tell you about how to resolve it. Mine just resolved itself when I became a flaming hermit and started accidently meeting people in gas stations and shit.
No… Wait. THERE IS YOUR SOLUTION…
The kind of people hwo start conversations with complete strangers in gas stations are the kind of people who enjoy human contact. Those are the kind of friends who stay around even after finding out you suck (we all suck, get over it).
It totally depends on what you consider a “friend”.
You can have “beer buddies” that you go drinking with, but aren’t your friends. You can have people who care about you, but don’t go out and do stuff with you much of the time. If you define friends as people who genuinely care about you and go out and have fun with you, then a person with buddies and caring people they don’t go out with might be considered not to have any friends.
I think 25% is way, way too high.
[quote=“SuchAFob”] Mine just resolved itself when I became a flaming hermit and started accidently meeting people in gas stations and shit.
No… Wait. THERE IS YOUR SOLUTION…
The kind of people hwo start conversations with complete strangers in gas stations are the kind of people who enjoy human contact. Those are the kind of friends who stay around even after finding out you suck (we all suck, get over it).[/quote]
Yeah, like this is possible outside of Taipei. Let me hit this Tapei-centric-forum with a clue stick again. Taiwan does not = Taipei. Outside of Taipei, let me hint you in, NOBODY speaks English. Yes, it is possible to learn Chinese with enough fluency to have a regular conversation at the gas station, that is more than “Jao man?” “Dui!”, if you study for 6 hours a day for six years. For the rest of us normal people, that requirement is a little bit too high of a hurdle.
But continue to live in your Taipei Central Bubble. Pretend that a few suburbs of Taipei represent the “real” Taiwan. Forget completely about the other 90% of Taiwan, where nobody at the gas stop speaks proper Chinese (only Taiwanese) much less English.
[quote=“mod lang”][quote=“SuchAFob”] Mine just resolved itself when I became a flaming hermit and started accidently meeting people in gas stations and shit.
No… Wait. THERE IS YOUR SOLUTION…
The kind of people hwo start conversations with complete strangers in gas stations are the kind of people who enjoy human contact. Those are the kind of friends who stay around even after finding out you suck (we all suck, get over it).[/quote]
Yeah, like this is possible outside of Taipei. Let me hit this Tapei-centric-forum with a clue stick again. Taiwan does not = Taipei. Outside of Taipei, let me hint you in, NOBODY speaks English. Yes, it is possible to learn Chinese with enough fluency to have a regular conversation at the gas station, that is more than “Jao man?” “Dui!”, if you study for 6 hours a day for six years. For the rest of us normal people, that requirement is a little bit too high of a hurdle.
But continue to live in your Taipei Central Bubble. Pretend that a few suburbs of Taipei represent the “real” Taiwan. Forget completely about the other 90% of Taiwan, where nobody at the gas stop speaks proper Chinese (only Taiwanese) much less English.[/quote]ML, there’s some truth in what you say, but you’re overstating things. (I’m getting a sense of deja vu… 
)
I’ve been all around Taiwan. I’ve had conversations with people at gas stations, at viewpoints, on the train, on the bus, and most places really. Some conversations in English, some in Chinese. I guess it’s true that more people in Taipei can speak more English, but on the other hand I have often been surprised by people in way-out places who can speak English, sometimes quite well.
My Chinese is good enough to have basic conversations – family, friends, favourite activities, foods, places to go etc. I studied Chinese formally for a few months only, and what I’ve learned since then has been through sporadic self-study.
I’m not a super-friendly person either. I tend to smile a lot, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy to yack on for ages with every guy who shouts something like “Oi! Foreigner! Come over here and be our friend!”
I have ten friends and play with them regularly.