I’ve been hiding the fact that my ex betrayed me by cheating on me and lying to me for two years.
It was someone who I loved deeply and was fully invested in emotionally. I’ve been hiding this for too long. One or two friends knew from the start, a few more found out earlier this year and the rest I haven’t told. Why?
I’m embarrassed and ashamed, even though I know full well I have no reason to be. He’s the one who should be and is ashamed of himself. So why do I feel this shame? Does anyone have any experience with this? This is my first time dealing with betrayal and although it’s been very, very hard in other ways, this is the only part that I’m really puzzled about. The pain and the trauma of it you kind of expect, but what’s with this shame part? I didn’t see that one coming, and to be honest, I’m kind of disappointed in myself. Not telling my family and friends, lying when they ask what happened, why he’s no longer here, that’s really cowardly and silly, so I wanted to do something about it. I like being honest and open, I don’t want this “thing” to have a hold on me. I want to be able to move on.
So, I decided to talk openly and publicly about it. That’s why I’m here where people know me. It may seem like no biggie to you, but it terrifies me to write this and click the submit button. But I figure, if I can “out myself” here, then telling my Mom should be a piece of cake, right?
I know this is not exactly a therapy forum (everyone pauses for a group chuckle) most of our relationship advice material is in areas such as how to pick up girls on MRT and is it illegal to [insert activity] in Taiwan?, but every now and then, we rise to the occasion and come up with serious, caring, insightful and helpful stuff, material that even Dr. Phil would be proud of, if he’d only thought of it first.
Now I’m hoping that we can come up with some of that good stuff for me too. I don’t need pages of it, a few good insights and experiences shared would suffice.
Oh, and the jokes, of course. Can’t have a good f.com thread without the smart-ass remarks and jokes. I mean it. I need those too. You’d better come through!
There. I feel lighter already. Thanks for listening and I hope you can contribute.