Hello friends, I want to ask your opinion about something, because I’m very confused.
I’m married to a taiwanese man, and we have a problem about facebook.
So when we were dating, he didn’t like the fact that my Friends and I were using the heart reactions, instead of the blue like, culture thing, because for me using a blue like was a little impolite and cold, but I respected his opinion and I thought that our love is stronger than a facebook issue, so I completely changed my habits, and I even stopped posting for more than one year because I didn’t want to recieve any heart reaction from anyone, and I was kind of embarassed to ask my friends to not do it, so I prefered to stop posting.
Anyway something happened lately, I needed some informations from a facebook group, so a stranger contacted me to explain to me, and he was very helpful, so I automatically heart reacted one of his answers without really thinking,
And when I talked to my husband about that help, he wanted to read the conversation, so I let him see because for me that conversation was super normal !!! But the only thing he saw was that heart reaction… So he kept saying that it means I flirt and that the guy will think that I’m easy, even tho the guy was super helpful and polite. Anyway he even mentioned the divorce because I didn’t respect him and I couldn’t keep my promise, the problem got super big, even tho I explained to him that I really did that automatically to just to express that I’m grateful.
I’m sorry guys for the long text, but I’m really confused, is it common to fight / divorce for this ?? Am I the only one who can’t understand how can someone be that angry for such a reason ?
And what do you guys advise me ?
Another question : do men really feel that a woman heart reacting their posts or messages means she’s flirting with them ? Even if the context is different from a flirty chat ?
I told him that I didn’t do that on purpose, and that even if I made a promise, I’m not a robot, but he was not convinced, he wants me to agree that heart reacting means flirting, but I cannot agree about something I don’t think, but I guess the fact that I gave up on doing this made him think that he’s right, it’s not like I went to add strangers for fun, it was really an emergency about the vaccine , and for me a normal guy will even call the guy and thank him, but mentioning divorce ? i felt like I got caught in a motel or something
The only way you can “like” a post on forumosa is to click on the heart icon. I sometimes click on it to show appreciation, I ight not “like” or even agree with the post very much.
Frankly, you have a big big problem that goes way beyond what kind of ‘likes’ you’re using on facebook.
As mentioned, he seems either pathologically insecure or … well, just pathological. Since he has always been this way (up to a point) you’ll have a pretty good idea which one it is. Unfortunately only you know what can be done about it. Complying with his (unreasonable) demands doesn’t seem to have worked. It’s one of those “crucial conversations” moments, I reckon: he needs to decide whether he’s going to stop this sort of behaviour; or you need to decide whether you’re going to put up with it.
You need to communicate with him about it. It did bother me my wife, fiancée back then, had strong online presence. Photos, likes, texts on Line with guys in Mandarin. It’s like being one step away from dating. She showed the world like she is available and ready to invest into conversations with every guy. Opportunities create infidelity
Do you really asking me for money for marriage? What are yours investments in relation?
I told her either you stop, or I will behave like we do have open relation. Pics of myself from gym on Instagram, regular visiting to bars. We just chatting ofc, but hey never know, maybe one day…
As you said you are married. Your husband is like this. Adjust or move on
I have an instagram account with girls only, and I don’t post anything on facebook, I don’t know if I can do more than that to make someone trust me, I already feel like a no life, but now, reading the others comments, I feel like it’s the end, I can’t put up with this
If you allow this ridiculous controlling behavior over something so insignificant as FaceBook, then how is he going to behave when it really counts? More control.
Does he control who you can talk with?
Does he control what clothes you can wear?
How about beach attire? Can you wear a nice bikini at the beach without him crying like a baby?
How old is your husband? He sounds like my friend’s elementary school kid that got upset because the girl he likes is talking to some boy in her class for some simple group project.
It’s just a Facebook like/heart…it just reeks of insecurity over something so unbelievably insignificant.