Help! I'm Freaking Out!

Life Dating & Relationships
41

Disregard my last post of a wedding date!! Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! :fume: :fume: :fume:

It has all been delayed. Why? In short, Taiwanese bureacracy and absolutely no single nodul point giving clear guidelines as to what is actually needed. Add to this that the rules keep changing (so depending on others for guidance from their experience is practically impossible) and the rules seem to be different for each country. :taz:
Previously, all you needed was a single certificate (certificate of non-impediment) issued by the home affairs office of your home country to prove that you’re not married. This piece of paper should then be stamped and authenticated by your Liaison Office/cultural exchange office or whatever the hell your quasi-embassy that is not really an embassy in Taiwan (if, in fact you even have one) is called. Armed with this you waltz down to the local courthouse (registrar) and make an appointment to get married and duly do so. Happiness, right? Not too much hassle to marry your one true love and all that, right? WRONG! Think again, boyo. You aint getting your smelly mitts on the local lasses that easily anymore.

We went down to the courthouse/registrar and were promptly told, “So sorry, you need to go to Kaohsuing (or Taipei, if that’s where you are) to get it stamped and double verified as an authentic document.” One trip to KHH later with a soul crunching, “So sorry, it needs to go back to your home country to be double authenticated there first before the foreign affairs office in Taiwan will even look at it.” (Let alone authenticate it/stamp the damn thing!)
But wait, that’s not all. As your foreign ass is in Taiwan you need to appoint someone back home to act as your “agent” on your behalf. This entails writing a letter to that effect, signing it (in the presence of your quasi-ambassador who isn’t really an ambassador in Taipei in order to verify, stamp and authenticate that it is actually you and not Osama Bin Laden that wrote and signed the letter) giving your sister/mother/significant relative back home authority to take the certificate of non-impediment to the Taipei Liaison Office in your country to be signed and authenticated. This obviously begs the question that if you didn’t give them permission to do this on your behalf, then why would you have expressed mailed the ass-crazed-cursed-from-hell certificate to them in the first place??? But that’s bureacracy at it’s finest.
In ADDITION to that, the certificate of non-impediment and the letter empowering your significant relative on your behalf (and not a semi-psychotic terrorist actually seeking asylum in Taiwan) the Taipei Liaison office also requires a “request of authentication” document. They tell you with a smile on their faces that you can download this from www.boca.com.tw but I swear if you can find it there I’ll wipe your ass with lavender scented toilet paper for the rest of your days. Lickily I was able to obtain one from a friend who had a copy of a fax of one.

That being said, now I first need to make an appointment (as these demi-gods of the foreign service are too important and busy) with my representative in Taipei in order to travel there for 5 hours, sign a document in his presence for 3 seconds and travel back to Tainan for 5 hours before posting this lot to my “legal agent.” Being Christmas and New Year the next available appointment may conceivably only be in another two weeks. Then one week home by express mail. One week (they say 3 to 5 days) to process my oh-so humble request. Another week to return by express mail. Add an extra week for unforeseen eventualities. That’s five weeks. Then with Chinese New Year looming ahead perhaps I can make an appontment in early February to get married (that is to say unless another Herculean task is heaped upon me by the local bureacrats).

But with my luck, after having done all that, I’ll probably go to make the appointment and end up with someone more well versed who may say, “Wow, you’re very thorough. It wasn’t necessary to have it stamped in South Africa. I could have done it for you.”

It’s me against the bureacratic machine. Let’s hope I prevail in the end. Perhaps they just want to make extra extra certain you really really really want to marry the lass.

Having got all that crap off my shoulders, I’ll keep those who want to know in the know and post an update later of when this highly anticipated marriage will take place. I’ll tell you one thing for nothing. I’m damn sure (if I really ever had any doubts) I want to marry my girl, and having gone through all this I’ll treasure her like a diamond for the rest of my life.
It seems like they really are making things tougher, but at least it gives you pause for thought. Do you REALLY want to do this? Hell yes! Give me the paper work baby. Daddy’s gotta go to Taipei.

42

Yer just holding out for the party…

43

[quote=“bismarck”]
Having got all that crap off my shoulders, I’ll keep those who want to know in the know and post an update later of when this highly anticipated marriage will take place. I’ll tell you one thing for nothing. I’m damn sure (if I really ever had any doubts) I want to marry my girl, and having gone through all this I’ll treasure her like a diamond for the rest of my life.[/quote]

I wonder if you could sell this as a new type of tv drama in Taiwan? :bravo: Best of luck man. I guess the universe was just testing ya, since you asked the question…

44

[quote=“Namahottie”][quote=“bismarck”]
… I want to marry my girl, and having gone through all this I’ll treasure her like a diamond for the rest of my life.[/quote][/quote]

Hmmmph…daimonds are a lot cheaper and cause less wear and tear.

45

[quote=“Namahottie”][quote=“bismarck”]
Having got all that crap off my shoulders, I’ll keep those who want to know in the know and post an update later of when this highly anticipated marriage will take place. I’ll tell you one thing for nothing. I’m damn sure (if I really ever had any doubts) I want to marry my girl, and having gone through all this I’ll treasure her like a diamond for the rest of my life.[/quote]

I wonder if you could sell this as a new type of tv drama in Taiwan? :bravo: Best of luck man. I guess the universe was just testing ya, since you asked the question…[/quote]

Maybe something along the lines of real time comedy entitled, “100 Ways to get a Waiguo to Cry…”

They’re certainly not making it easier, I’ll tell you that much. My fiance has also done her fair share of running around, and everyone has a different story. Kind of like “The 12 Tasks of Asterix,” when Asterix and Obelix were in that Roman building and had to keep running around from floor to floor to someone else to get some other stamp or seal…

46

Hey, I’m not gonna say no to one. :smiley:

47

Bismarck -
An amazing drama. When I did the deed it was very quick and painless. I had the “Official Single Document” in hand, did 1 trip to Kaohsiung got their chop, came back to Tai-town and concluded things at the house-hold registry office.
Actually, it was so quick that I have asked several times “Are we really married?”
Did I ever mention that the Taiwan female sense of humor is sorely under-developed?
added:
I think the fact that the Kaoshiung AIT office was involved smoothed things immensely. Unlike the jerk-offs in the Taipei office.
Good luck to ya.

48

if it wasnt so dang serious i woulda fallen off my chair laughin at the way bismarck wrote that up.

honestly it is just STUPID all that stuff to go thru? but at least It certainly does give impetus to make your marriage last …a LIFETIME. AND CERtainly makes your decision all that much more rewarding and meaningful and not “just a piece of paper” my (now ex) wife had said marriage was !!!

49

[quote=“TainanCowboy”]Bismarck -
An amazing drama. When I did the deed it was very quick and painless. I had the “Official Single Document” in hand, did 1 trip to Kaohsiung got their chop, came back to Tai-town and concluded things at the house-hold registry office.
Actually, it was so quick that I have asked several times “Are we really married?”
Did I ever mention that the Taiwan female sense of humor is sorely under-developed?
added:
I think the fact that the Kaoshiung (Gaoxiong) AIT office was involved smoothed things immensely. Unlike the jerk-offs in the Taipei office.
Good luck to ya.[/quote]

I hear ya, mate. That’s the way I expected it to go. A friend of mine (also a Saffa) got married last year and his experience was much the same as yours. Quick and painless.
It seems that they’ve either changed the rules again, or the person we saw in Kaohsuing was being overly cautious (read anal retentive).
Anyway, worst comes to worst, it’ll just be postponed by a month. All part of the journey I suppose.

Going through these extra steps does kind of make it feel more “real” and like you have to work for it somehow. I basically also have to go through all the steps that I will need to go through for the Spousal visa, so it’s a good rehearsal for that. I don’t mind having to do everything, I just wish there was a central nodul point of information to give you all the DEFINITIVE guidelines beforehand. Somewhat exasperating how it’s currently run.

Told the wife-to-be (ala Borat), “If you cheat me after this, I vill crush you.” I was only joking, of course, but it does make one think twice about the implications…

50

haha, well taiwan and japan are nations basically ruled by bureaucrats. And they LOVE to heap reams and reams of paperwork and endless ever changing procedures on the populace so they can increase their numbers year after year to deal with all the “work”

51

They do it to prove you are getting married for love. You’d have to be crazy about her to keep jumping through bureaucratic hoops just to be with her for the rest of your life. They’re probably laughing at how cute you are when she shake your fists and, in frustration, whimper, “But I just want to marry her…” before they tell you you must get paternity tests from your male ancestors from 6 generations to the present to prove you are who you say you are and then have it double verified by the trade office in SA, and that it only counts if verified on a day that doesn’t end with the letter ‘y’.

And I can’t believe five pages have gone by without anyone discussing Sandman’s days as a gay bachelor before getting married… I mean, I for one am curious if Sandwoman knows.

By the way, Bismarck, I want to know one thing: if I had lived in Tainan instead of Taipei before you met your wife, would we have had a chance? :wink:

52

ImaniOU, who knows sweety? Chances are, that with the experiences I’ve had before, no…

But there was this one girl from Canada one year ago…and she wasn’t pinkish…sooooo…maybe… :wink:

53

A wife comes down stairs on her 20th wedding anniversary to find her husband staring out the window and crying. She says “why you cry honey?”
He answers “Do you remember 20 years ago you were 15 and I was 17? We were making out in my car. Then your father caught us. He had is shotgun. He told me I would marry you or go to jail.”
“Yes” she says to his question.
“Well. Today is the day I would have got out!”

Getting married here was a long blur of red tape and too many people eating my food, but it was worth it. Wait till you have to get the pictures done (do some outside, they look more natural). Take a look at the show me your kid pictures if you don’t believe yet.

And congratulations!