Hotel Taiwan -The Eagles got it wrong!

Change a few words of the original and a lot of this rings true. Especially the last two lines. Scary!

[quote]Off the Eastern coast of China, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of chou dofu, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
‘This could be Heaven or this could be Hell’
Then she turned on the all the fluorescent lights and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say…

Welcome to the Hotel Formosa
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel Formosa
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

Her mind is LV-twisted, she got the Mercedes Benz
She got a lot of language exchanges, she calls friends
How they sing in the KTV’s, sweet summer sweat.
Some sing to remember, some sing to forget

So I called up the Captain,
‘Please bring me my wine’
He said, ‘We haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine’
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say…

Welcome to the Hotel Formosa
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin’ it up at the Hotel Formosa
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
Taiwan beer on ice
And she said ‘We are all just prisoners here, of our own device’
And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
‘Relax,’ said the night man,
‘We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!
’[/quote]

Home with a cold today?? :laughing:

Yeah, you’re up early…insomnia?

:bravo: :bravo: :bravo: :thumbsup:
Nicely done and so damned true

Agree with those last 2 lines also :expressionless:

Just taking the liberty to add a few more Taiwanese elements to the song:

[quote]
Off the East coast of China, cool wind in my mole hair
Warm smell of choudofu rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw flashing Christmas lights
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
Laobanniang stood in the doorway;
I heard the dharma bell
And I was thinking to myself,
“This could be Nirvana or this could be Hell”
Then she turned on the fluorescents
And she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say…

Huangying Guanglin Hotel Formosa
Such a lovely place (Such a lovery place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel Formosa
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

Her mind is LV-twisted, she got the Mercedes Benz
She got a lot of language exchanges, she calls friends
How they sing in the KTV’s, sweet summer sweat.
Some sing to remember, some sing to forget

So I called up the Laoban, “Please bring me my Whisbih”
He said, “We haven’t had that spirit here since Min-Guo sixty three”
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say…

Huangying Guanglin Hotel Formosa
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin’ it up at the Hotel Formosa
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling, Taiwan Beer on ice
And she said “We are all just prisoners here, of our own device”
And in the Laoban’s chambers,
They came to the wedding feast
They stab it with their bamboo chopsticks,
But they just can’t kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
“Relax,” said the Laoban,
“We are programmed to receive.
You can check out any time you like,
But you can never leave!”[/quote]

Hey, I posted this back in 2003 :slight_smile:

[forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopic.ph … 523#108523](Songs that remind you of everyday life in Taiwan

On a green coloured freeway
Exhaust in my hair
Warm smell of choudofu
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy, and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood at the binlang stand
I heard the garbage truck’s bell
And I was thinking to myself
This could be Heaven or this could be Hell
Then she lit up a longlife
And she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel Formosa
Such a lovely place
Such a crowded place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of ESL work at the Hotel Formosa
Any time of year
Any time of year (background)
You can find it here
You can find it here

Her mind is SOGO twisted
She’s got her Daddy’s benz
She’s got a lot of pretty, foreign boys
That she calls friends
How they dance on the bar top
Sweet summer sweat
Some dance to get laid
Some dance for the rent
So I called up the laoban
Please bring me my gatorade
He said
We haven’t had that drink here since 1998
And still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say

Welcome to the Hotel Formosa
Such a lovely Place
Such a dirty Place (background)
Such a lovely face
They’re livin’ it up at the Hotel Formosa
What a nice surprise
What a nice surprise (background)
Bring your alibies

Binlang juice on the sidewalk
Warm beer on ice
And she said
We are all just prisoners here
Til our ARC expires
And in the expat nightclub
They gathered for a sleaze
They pick up anything that moves
And shag in MTVs
Last thing I remember
I was running for the door
I had to find a quick flight back to the place I was before
Relax said the nightman
We are programed to recieve
You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave

Lordy Lordy, :roflmao: One thing I won’t miss

[quote=“Bu Lai En”]Hey, I posted this back in 2003 :slight_smile:

[forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopic.ph … 523#108523](Songs that remind you of everyday life in Taiwan

What can I say, Bu? I’m a copycat…and your version is way better than mine! Cheers! :slight_smile:

HAHAHAHAA FRICKIN HILARIOUS :slight_smile::):):):slight_smile: al of em.

im gonna have to ask for some ice with my beer here in calif. That will raise a few eyebrows!!

[quote=“Bu Lai En”]Hey, I posted this back in 2003 :slight_smile:

[forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopic.ph … 523#108523](Songs that remind you of everyday life in Taiwan

They pick up anything that moves
And shag in MTVs
[/quote]

HAHA i remember telling some newbie to taiwan bout the MTVs. :slight_smile::):slight_smile: They still exist there? Whats your fav one?

They were great!! big screen projection TV. nice sofa, Your private room. Bring your own beer and KFC (and lady of course) . And rent a movie you’ve seen before when your ‘true mission’ in going there with your lady friend is something else !! MTVs are the only place where some truly awful movies ever get any airtime just BECAUSE !!.

remember the coat hook where you could hang your jacket to cover the obligatory window? Remember the fone call warning of POLICE coming for a raid? And remember the emergency escape rope they had in some of those places, in case of fire?? the one i went to had that. It was a hardness that you strap on. And then step out the window and it will lower you to the ground (up to 12 stories) and then the next person can reel it in and do the same. There was some sort of slowing mechanism in it that will allow you to escape to the surface in case of fire without free falling . INgenious. dont know if it ACTUALLY WORKED THO??

:slight_smile: those WERE the days.

If Simon and Garfunkel were inspired in Taiwan

I’m sittin in this stinky bus station
trying to deal with my frustration
on a tour of one night stands
my backpack and guitar in hand
and every stop is neatly planned
for a teacher and his one man band

Home safe and sound
I wish I was
home safe and sound
home where there’s no one staren
home where there’s no loud speakers blaren
home where my fishing pole lies waiting
silently for me

Everyday’s an endless stream
of people that drive so dangerously
and each town looks the same to me
the KTVs and the factories
and every blue truck that I see
reminds me that I long to be

Home safe and sound
I wish I was
home safe and sound
home where there’s no one staren
home where there’s no loud speakers blaren
home where my fishing pole lies waiting
silently for me

Tonight I’ll go to the club again
I’ll play the game and pretend
I’ll find some local to come home with me
hoping she’s desease free
like emptyness in harmony
I need someone to comfort me

:astonished:

:astonished:[/quote]

errr i mean HARNESS of course

If you had to strap on a hardness, I doubt if those girls ever went there with you a second time.

you mean those taiwanese vixens?

for sure they did came back,and with friends too

Had to contribute to this thread… :smiley:
Here is my take of a classic Simon and Garfunkel tune (Sound of Silence)

Hello Taiwan , my old friend,
I’ve come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was walking,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of Taiwan.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow lou’s of XimenDing ,
neath the halo of neon street lamps,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of Taiwan.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand scooters everywhere.
People chewing binlang while speaking,
People staring at me intently,
People speaking words that I can never understand,
And no one cared
Translate these words of Mandarin.

Fools said waigouren, ni bu dong
Staring is just part of the culture.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take your eyes off me or I might kill you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the streets of Taiwan

And the people bowed and baibai’d
To the neon Gods they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of confucious
Are written on the MRT walls
And temple halls.
And whisperd in the sounds of Taiwan.

Update to the lyrics of Hotel California:

[quote]So I called up the Laoban, “Please bring me my Whisbih”
He said, “We haven’t had that spirit here since Min-Guo 63”
And still those scooters are idling outside my door :fume:
Wake me up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them roar![/quote]

dang it, now I have simon and garfunkel stuck in my head. :stuck_out_tongue:
Well, while its in my mind, might as well have some fun… :smiley:

Here is one on a more positive note about Taiwan (original: bye bye love)

Chorus

Bye bye USA
Bye bye loneliness
Hello xiao jie-ness
I think Im gonna smile
Bye bye home
Bye bye high taxes
Hello xio jie-ness
I feel like I could smile
Bye bye my home, goodbye

There goes my xiao jie
she is one in a few
She sure looks happy
I sure am too
She is my xiao jie
Will be forever too
Goodbye to loneliness
That will never happen again

Chorus

Im through with desk jobs
Im through with snobs
Im through with counting
The nights alone
And heres the reason
That Im so free
My loving xiao jie
Is forever with me

ok last one, I promise…I just couldnt resist

This one is for all you down hearted English teachers out there (original: Mrs. Robinson)

And here’s to you, Taibei-Taiwan
Wai Guoren love you more than you will know, 我 我 我
God bless you please, Taibei-Taiwan
MOFA holds a place for those who pay, 好 好 好
好 好 好

We’d like to know a pretty xiao jie for a little while
We’d like to help you learn to clean up yourself
Look around you, all you see are sore-sights for the eyes
Ride around the city in your scooter and you will see

And here’s to you, Taibe-Taiwan
Wai Guoren love you more than you will know, 我 我 我
God bless you please, Taibei-Taiwan
MOFA holds a place for those who pay, 好 好 好
好 好 好

We are in a ex-pat place that doesn’t pay anymore
Putting in our hours teaching kindie with the aches
It’s a little secret, just the Wai Guoren’s affair
Most of all you’ve got to hide it from the FAP’s

Coo coo ca-choo, Taibe-Taiwan
Wai Guoren love you more than you will know, 我 我 我
God bless you please, Taibei-Taiwan
MOFA holds a place for those who pay, 好 好 好
好 好 好

Sitting on a plane heading to new money soon
Going to Japan or somewhere I don’t hate
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you’ve got to choose
Every way you look at it you lose

Where have you gone, Mr. Wai Guoren?
Our nation turns its English needs to you, woo woo woo
What’s that you say, Taibei-Taiwan?
Joltin’ Wai has left and gone away, 好 好 好
好 好 好