Make a comparison and then pass one on for the next poster to complete: I’ll start.
Hotter than a two-dicked billygoat.
colder than…
…a well diggers a**
wetter than a ____
(no “a”) Flipper’s flippers
Stronger than_________
quote=“Funk500” Flipper’s flippers
Stronger than_________[/quote]
… the Hulk’s toilet seat.
Taller than…
… Tash on a box.
Sexier than…
[quote=“Big Fluffy Matthew”]… Tash on a box.
Sexier than…[/quote]
…the chief on a box
Greener than…
Irish Stew’s pee-pee on St. Patrick’s Day…
Stinkier than…
[quote=“Bubba 2 Guns”]Irish Stew’s pee-pee on St. Patrick’s Day…
Stinkier than…[/quote]
… Sandman and Stray Dog’s shared toilet.
More expensive than…
[quote=“irishstu”][quote=“Bubba 2 Guns”]Irish Stew’s pee-pee on St. Patrick’s Day…
Stinkier than…[/quote]
… Sandman and Stray Dog’s shared toilet.
More expensive than…[/quote]
…Bubba 2 Guns’ public liability coverage.
Smoother than…
uma thurman covered in honey.
grosser (?) than …
[quote=“urodacus”]uma thurman covered in honey.
grosser (?) than …[/quote]
Bubba 2 Guns covered in honey.
Sweeter than…
I want to go back to “grosser.” Grosser than the chief sitting at the end of the sewage discharge outlet sucking diarhorrea through a sweaty sock.
Sweatier than________.
[quote=“sandman”]I want to go back to “grosser.” Grosser than the chief sitting at the end of the sewage discharge outlet sucking diarhorrea through a sweaty sock.
Sweatier than________.[/quote]
Well we could just make that one the “sweeter than” one, so now we’re on “sweatier than”
[quote=“sandman”]Grosser than the chief sitting at the end of the sewage discharge outlet sucking diarhorrea through a sweaty sock.
[/quote]
hey, this is not a fantasy page.
and i see that sandman is a vincent fan (another thread). much respect, oh kilted one. i have been more than happy to sit in the oil spray of one of them in the past. beautiful machines.
i don’t really want to touch the ‘sweatier’ challenge.
OK, how about
sweatier than sandman’s armpits during the taipei marathon.
shinier than…
shinier than a well-polished knob
shinier than the arse of a two-pound suit
any more?
As an aside (sorry, not trying to hijack the thread), I just have to post these “25 funniest analogies” from the interweb:
[quote]1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
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His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
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He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
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She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
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She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
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He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
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The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
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The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
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McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
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From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
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Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
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The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
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Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
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They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
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He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
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Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
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Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
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The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
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The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
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He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
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The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
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It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
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He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.[/quote]
some aussie gems: feel free to add.
flat out like a lizard drinking.
all over the place, like a mad woman’s shit.
as busy as a one-armed wall paper hanger
[quote=“sandman”]I want to go back to “grosser.” Grosser than the chief sitting at the end of the sewage discharge outlet sucking diarhorrea through a sweaty sock.
Sweatier than________.[/quote]
I’ll take that challenge…Sweatier than the Chief’s shorts after a 5 mile hike…
More Canadian than…
more canadian than a bull moose humping a snowmobile with Christmas antlers, 'cause its been getting into the Fin du Monde (the moose, not the mobile)
more desperate than…
As OP, my call is to add more comparisons if you know some. ‘hotter than’ certainly has a few more we could add. So from here on, you can pick up the thread at ‘more desperate than’ and add another, or add onto what’s already been offered. I’m surprised nobody’s brought up ‘tighter than’ yet.
Hotter than a half-fucked fox in a forest fire. 
More desperate than a frog in a blender.
tighter than…