Sophia, why don’t you do me and NamaHottie a favor and tell us some good ways to meet Taiwanese men. I bet the ideas would work for Taiwanese women trying to meet foreigners, too, so you’d be helping Alice as well.
It is much easier for me to meet Taiwanese men.
They need wamen to take care of them. I often guessed what them want before them asked. Just like give them water, or prepare something they need. And I like Taiwanese men, if they like me, it is easier to ask some benifits. For me, foreigner men whould be a challenge, sometimes they can take care themself well, maybe a woman who is like a partner is better.
Every woman should fiind something special and beautiful inside themselve. Sex is only the surface and very shallow. Don’t let men treat us a toy.
If you are not satisfied with my words, we can discuss more.
But yes, the best relationships do start out as friendsips.[/quote]
thanks you guys rock !! I like all you guys ideas.
but i have rarely time can talk to him i always busy at work ( i am part-time there)
sombody says i can ask him for meal? but we haven’t talk before how can i ? > < i afraid he will think i am strange…actually (he is new in our cram)
so have other specific ideas i can get his e-mail things?
he is a kind person ~~~i like his interaction with others people. he is polite and gentle.
I hate i am so shy I can"t open my mouse to talk with him > <
let’s learn chinese~~~you guys hahaha
[quote=“housecat”]Text him?
One thing is to walk by and “accidentally” on purpose drop your book or your purse. Let him pick it up and reach for it at the same time–that way you can talk to him–say thank you and offer to buy him a coffee.
Or pass by him and “accidentally” on purpose bump into him. Wear nice perfume.
Or have a party because you’re leaving and invite EVERYONE and try again to talk to him at your party?[/quote]
coolidea~
One thing is to walk by and “accidentally” on purpose drop your book or your purse. Let him pick it up and reach for it at the same time–that way you can talk to him–say thank you and offer to buy him a coffee.
i need to practice it !!
[quote=“housecat”][quote=“Indiana”][quote=“aliceyun”]we work in the same place ( in cram)
We havn’t talked before…because I don’t have chance to talk with him…
and I don’t know what topic i can talk with him
and he can give me his contact information~~
e-amil ? or something…
I want to make some different countries people.
because I am going to leave there…
anyone have any suggestion?
thanks~~[/quote]
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think the OP is trying to necessarily ‘catch his eye’ in the attraction / sexual / relationship sense. It seems like she just wants to talk to a ‘foreigner,’ probably just to practice her English because she is going to ‘leave there’ (live abroad in an English-speaking country maybe?). Just guessin’.[/quote]
My own guess was that she was planning to change jobs and not work with him any longer.[/quote]
Ahhhhh…yes, I see that now too.
I think maybe housecat is right.
So we should suggest what kind of books should be dropped? What brand name of purses should be dropped? Or what kind or brand name of coffee should be the treat? How many times would that trick be practiced?
I have no interest with people only for their races. Actually I think my kid’s Australian tutor is boring, too young to chat. I want to make friends just for their thoughts.
It is much easier for me to meet Taiwanese men.
They need wamen to take care of them. I often guessed what them want before them asked. Just like give them water, or prepare something they need. And I like Taiwanese men, if they like me, it is easier to ask some benifits. For me, foreigner men whould be a challenge, sometimes they can take care themself well, maybe a woman who is like a partner is better.
Every woman should fiind something special and beautiful inside themselve. Sex is only the surface and very shallow. Don’t let men treat us a toy.
If you are not satisfied with my words, we can discuss more.[/quote]
Those are good observations, Sophia, but remember that men are men. A different skin color or different language don’t change much. Even if a foreigner guy can take care of himself well and preferes a partner to a nanny, he still likes to be catered too–at least once in a while.
Case in point: in another thread, Almas John wrote:
Now, I’m sure AJ loves his wife very much and only talks about her in such a diminished way because he feels it’s a bit unmanly to write his sincere feelings about her–which should be very greatly respectful and loving indeed, judging by how much he feels he needs to make his feelings seem smaller in order to keep his manlieness in tack. However!! The crux is that she is caring for him by being there to “scratch his itch” in whatever way or place he needs. She takes care of his physical needs, tells him she loves him, that he has it what it takes to do whatever he thinks he needs to do.
This is some of what any woman does for any happy husband no matter how equal their relationship might be, or appear to be. The truth is that no matter how big and tough the guy looks or acts on the outside, there’s still a little boy in there who is still in love with his mommy. Same for goes for women. I think that sometimes the difference is that the inner child is much more exptessed by Taiwanese men and women, and in the case of the men, at least–the inner child is oftentimes more mature than the grownup man he has become.
Housecat, I think different men could be attracted by different women.
For example, if I treat men just for I am happy to treat him, not to hope to get something from him. Some women always act strangely in front of men, not like they do in front of women.
And yes, men are still men. So if a woman without a good looking, it is hard for her to attract men, and play stupid tricks may let her looks more stupid.
Not every husband loves her wife in a sincere way. Actually I love to know the men’s privacy on web, I can know their secret ex-love or proverty they never tell their wife. It is really exciting and funny. And I don’t think wives would act like what you said, maybe some did, others didn’t.
Even what you taught work very well, I don’t think this relationship would last long. For most of men seldom notice shy girls, shy sometimes means boring, right?
[quote=“Sophia101”]Housecat, I think different men could be attracted by different women.
For example, if I treat men just for I am happy to treat him, not to hope to get something from him. Some women always act strangely in front of men, not like they do in front of women.
And yes, men are still men. So if a woman without a good looking, it is hard for her to attract men, and play stupid tricks may let her looks more stupid.
Not every husband loves her wife in a sincere way. Actually I love to know the men’s privacy on web, I can know their secret ex-love or proverty they never tell their wife. It is really exciting and funny. And I don’t think wives would act like what you said, maybe some did, others didn’t.
Even what you taught work very well, I don’t think this relationship would last long. For most of men seldom notice shy girls, shy sometimes means boring, right?[/quote]
No way! In my experience the shy people are very exciting once you get to know them! It’s because they are so shy, so they never get to express themselves much, but once they feel safe, they are pretty uninhibited. And some guys will like the chase–the challenge presented by a shy girl.
I don’t think what I suggested is “stupid tricks.” They guys aren’t “tricked” at all. They know that the girl is trying to show interest in them. That is flattering. Girls and guys are different-especially in Taiwan-about approaching eachother. Sometimes having a less direct way to approach someone can help overcome our nervous feelings and shyness. It’s the same as a guy asking some kind of stupid question to a girl–just an opener–a way to start talking to someone you like something about. Liking something about someone makes you feel a little vulnerable and can make feeing shy even worse. It’s understandable, then to use a stupid question or a little “trick” accident to help you start. And it’s better to do these things than never to say anything at all.
Whatever one wife does might not be what another does, but if it’s a happy marriage then I bet she ALWAYS supports and cares for her husband. If she’s using him for money and stability, or whatever, then he’s using her for sex and position or whatever. It’s not a marriage in the love sense–just like a business arrangement.
Most importantly, women and men should always be themselves. I think that most of us sometimes act differently around the opposite sex sometimes, though, and there may be many reasons for this.
If you fear making yourself look more stupid by trying to get someone’s attention, then I think you’re doomed before you start anyway. This is because you have a problem of low selfesteem. If you don’t like yourself well enough to expect that someone else might like you, too, then you first need to take care of yourself and your thinking about yourself, before you try to date.
Seeing parts of men’s private lives posted online could be a good education, but it should not be like being a spectator at a bloodsport. Men are vulnerable creatures–but so are women. People are human no mater their sex.
[quote=“Sophia101”]I think maybe housecat is right.
So we should suggest what kind of books should be dropped? What brand name of purses should be dropped? Or what kind or brand name of coffee should be the treat? How many times would that trick be practiced?[/quote]
You guys are over-thinking this? 
What she should do is to hold a bunch of books, walk toward her object of desire, not paying attention as to where
she is going, bump into him and drop everything on the ground. With more than one book, he has no choice but to help.
If there are enough books, she doesn’t even have to bump into him, just somewhere in his vicinity, and if he doesn’t offer to help,
he’s probably not a gentleman anyway.
This way, she can have books on numerous subjects and maybe there is one that will interest him.
I kinda picture her with a stack of books up to her eyeballs, swaying back and forth trying not to drop anything, only to…crash!
Then, Ta-Da, white knight to the rescue!
There is a romantic movie rights here somewhere.
Good grief girls !! Trust me on this , guys are very easy. There are very few books on how to pick up men for a reason. Just simply go up to the guy you fancy and say hi. And say some small thing like “boy sure is hot today isnt it?” Anything silly will do. And then engage in a few more sentences. Add in a question “Do you come here often? Oh you work here? OH so do I , how come I havent seen you before?” “oh youve seen me staring at you before? thats not possible im short sighted” etc.
It is extremely easy. IF theres any interest from him he will jump at the chance to continue a chat with you.
If you have made a few approaches and got a cold sholder? Then move on…nothin there.
p.s. Im a guy, so Iv never tried to pick up guys but speaking AS A GUY and having many guy friends. Its a piece of cake for a bold girl to approach a guy she likes.
Dont be shy!! Or you may watch some girl way beneath you in looks and personality get the man you want !! Just because she dared to approach him and get his attention?
Here, tell you what. Just approach him next time you see him and ask him if he is a friend of Tommy. Just like that. He will say “tommy who” and you can make up a last name. Or say even if you know his name, use another name and say “oh hey Jonnie, do you play tennis?” And the guy will say “oh im not jonnie , im Tom” etc. And take it from there. Lets face it. All the “dummies” are all attached and all the intelligent and shy ones have issues with the approach. All the others simply used any stupid excuse and got things rolling
Any stupid question can get you started on a relationship.
p.s. I am horrible at picking up girls because almost all of my GF in Taiwan have approached me. And its worked every time!! Any silly line. Didnt matter. I liked her back and its real easy from there.
[quote=“tommy525”]Good grief girls !! Trust me on this , guys are very easy. There are very few books on how to pick up men for a reason. Just simply go up to the guy you fancy and say hi. And say some small thing like “boy sure is hot today isnt it?” Anything silly will do. And then engage in a few more sentences. Add in a question “Do you come here often? Oh you work here? OH so do I , how come I havent seen you before?” “oh youve seen me staring at you before? thats not possible I’m short sighted” etc.
It is extremely easy. IF theres any interest from him he will jump at the chance to continue a chat with you.
If you have made a few approaches and got a cold sholder? Then move on…nothin there.
[/quote]
And, if he’s anything like Quentin, she might get her head chop off.
All joking aside, I agree with Tommy. Saying hi with a smile to a guy is the easiest thing to do. Now you might get some really shy or clueless guy who doesn’t know how to respond, but that’s just the way it goes sometime.
Another thing you can try is on your last few days at work, go say goodbye to everyone, but make sure you say goodbye to
this guy and suggest that you keep in touch. In fact, if you are nervous saying that to him, say that to everyone and get everyone’s phone numbers/emails. Just pretend you are networking.
I did that once with a girl at work and got a date out of it. (Well, not because I was shy, but because I didn’t know she existed until the last day…
cuz a lot of TAiwanese guys are dorks?? :)
I mean if i was a lady I wouldnt date any one of my guy friends (be they taiwanese or foreign). I would be lesbian
First problem. Don’t shit where you eat…
So…safe to say it’s just physical attraction. See above…
Not to be nasty, just realistic, seems to me that even if you knew what to talk to him about, if his Chinese isn’t good you’re not going to have much to say to each other.
[quote=“aliceyun”]and he can give me his contact information~~
e-amil ? or something…[/quote]
You haven’t even talked to him yet, how do you suppose to get his e-mail or “something”?
Not sure what this has to do with dating the bloke at work, but I’ve had similiar fantasies myself. I’d like to make a country where everyone is wealthy without pollution and all the girls have sexy bodies and large…eyes…
Usually we leave the place where we are, “here”, but there are some places I’d like to leave without actually even going there.
Don’t get involved with people at work, but that’s just me… There are plenty of foreigners about and you really don’t need a situation where the relationship sours and you still need to work in the same place together.
No worries…
[b][color=green]Mod note: OT discussion moved to http://www.forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopic.php?t=70702
Please try to stay on topic. Thanks!
Lupillus
D & R Mod[/color][/b]
You know, here’s a secret: guys are just as insecure and feel just as nervous as you girls do about making the first move. The only difference is that guys are socially expected to make the initial moves or else we’ll NEVER, ever get laid. Guys are forced against their nature to be agressive because girls aren’t going to come to you - guys have to do all the work in the initial courtship stages. Any guy standing around waiting for the girls waiting to come to him is going to face a lifetime of celibacy. Girls don’t even have to try. Guys come to you. And if guys don’t come to you, the least bit of minor effort can still get you a guy. All you have to do is smile and talk to him. Like Tommy525 said, guys are easy that way (and I almost never, ever agree with him on anything).
Sometimes I feel that half of my problems with the opposite sex is that I act like a woman when it comes to the mating ritual. I’m highly selective, look more at brains & personality than the body, am a bit initially shy & demure, find making crass opening moves highly distasteful, and actually have to deliberate & decide before I fuck someone on the first date. All of these are womanly, not manly traits. 95% of the sleazy foreign guys that I meet in Taiwan hanging around clubs are the exact opposite of me. But that’s perhaps not the most selective example of the shining glory of humanity. There are words such as gay and lesbian to describe people that are in crassly physical sexual terms the obverse of traditional sex roles - but what about people like me that are the obverse emotionally?
Well, point is, you are a shy, nervous girl. That is no problem whatsoever. Most guys (real guys) like innocent girls like you. Being a shy, nervous guy is very, very different - 10x harder in life. You have nothing to complain about at all. Just talk to him. Any minor hurdle you try to tiptoe over, all of us guys (those of us who have ever tried to get laid at all, that is) have had to jump over 10x higher hurdles than you. Meeting guys is easy.
I apologize to everybody, especially Alice, for my disdainful attitude.
I apologize seriously to Sandman for my crude and strict words.
I am very sorry with myself.
Hope you all have happy discussions here.
[quote=“Sophia101”]I apologize to everybody, especially Alice, for my disdainful attitude.
I apologize seriously to Sandman for my crude and strict words.
I am very sorry with myself.
Hope you all have happy discussions here.[/quote]
Don’t worry about it, the moderators are here to pick up our little messes. From my perspective it is interesting to read your posts because they are real/ honest, and come from someone very few of us would get to have this kind of open conversation with. The sad thing is that (in the posts that have been deleted) you did sound quite emotionally dead. I think that is something we foreigners pick up on. The shallow mundanity of life for many wealthy Taiwanese women.
The points you make to Alice are valid. Taiwanese men want to be mothered, but Western (whatever that means these days) men like a more equal partnership. That statement involves generalisations of course, but that doenst matter. Also that sex is only on the surface and it is not the best thing to entice a man with your sexuality. Further you say that to act ‘dumb’ in front of a man usually only works if you are pretty. Again, a valid generalisation. So nothing wrong with the advice to Alice.
And finally, our old mate Sandman needs the odd adversary to stand up to him. I was quite looking forward to you giving him more of a telling off. ‘Shit my mood,’ really was a funny quote too.
You are unique on this board, which is probably why you have come under the microscope so quickly. Don’t sweat it.
Sandman owes me a drink for all the times he’s lifted one of my trademark limp-wristed comeuppances.
I probably owe him one 'n’all, yet I’m not entirely shure why.
Sand & Ginger aren’t exactly compatible.
Thank you, guys. I felt guilty and tried to do something for myself.