How do non-Asian women feel about Asian Guys?

I was with a good friend who is foreign and has lived here a long time with his TW wife and now 2 kids. The other day he asked what my plans were, really asking if I was going back to the US soon. I told him I liked it here and was reviewing options to stay. He smiled and said “yes, the men love it here and the women hate it and go back”, smiling as if I understood. Yeah, I do know why the men like it here, but for the women, I really do not know.

After thinking about it, if true, thought it might be relationship based. Maybe they do not form the same type of relationships that we do and stay. First I want to say I do not see a lot of Non-Asian women here (sample size is really small), but when I do they are usually with a Non-Asian guy or with no guy at all. I rarely see Non-Asian women with Asian guys. So is there a preference here, or just bad data?

Eight years, loved it, mostly guys from my own country but a couple from our former colonies.

Asian guys? Open to anything, but I tend to get on better with people with my own language, from my country, from the north, the north-west. Hell, it’s a hierachy of needs pyramid, almost. Weirdly, when I was back in the UK, I didn’t go near any yingguoren. Maybe I didn’t need the talk because I was in an English language environment? And, well, it’s just easier to pull British guys than Taiwanese guys, in Asia. I’m not going to go down the rabbit hole of explaining why, but it just is, m’kay. :laughing:

I’m maybe an anomaly though: lived in Asia most of my adult life. It’s not ‘challenging’, it’s normal for me. A lot of women seem to go through this demented culture shock thing and act like they have PTSD. It’s intensely irritating.

outlier:

god… she would have been great on Firefly… someone who actually can speak some Chinese… not that Nathan didn’t get better… but he got better in Castle…

I think its hilarious though… back in the states, i was more attracted to white girls, but as cultural differences and being tossed between the two at times… (born in US, Taiwanese), i realized I want to find a Taiwanese wife.

I think even those that come here (ie. ABT or American-Born Taiwanese) end up trying to find a Taiwanese girl instead of non… but who knows… im pretty open though. I think its how you connect. I think also think… maybe Taiwanese guys who like non-Taiwanese girls are usually programmed to look at a specific kind of white girl. I know in the US we are open-minded because its a larger stirring pot of different cultures and people.

All i can say is… don’t give up. What i tell my friend who’s more western-cultured, English above average, that she needs to find a guy that understands her through her western-cultured ways even though she was born in Taiwan.

Me likey Asian guys. Younger ones are more open to CCR but my generation, alas, grew up during Martial Law and is so stuck that even the local wimmin have a hard time finding a reasonable partner.

That said, I’ve really seen a lot of more couples Taiwanese guy/foreign woman lately, of the kind they met here or abroad. It works.

Asian guys? Gorgeous. Love 'em. But I love mangos too. Doesn’t keep me from being allergic to them. It’s tough to find a Taiwanese (or Chinese, for that matter) guy who can really, really deal with a Western-thinking woman. And if he can, the next question is whether his family can. Probably younger generations are having an easier time of this to some degree.

Like The Dude? But Asian? :ponder:

Most of my non-Asian female friends love Asian guys back in the States. I’m mostly Asian myself and some of my friends have expressed interest in me as well. So I really don’t know if this matters. I’ve met A LOT of non-Asian women that I’ve asked out and got turned down badly (gotta do my hair, got a boyfriend/bs excuse, let me call you back, i thought you were gay, etc, etc), but I’ve also met quite a few in my life that are really attracted to Asian guys and most of them actually have huge desire to marry one. I know Asian guys are the least sexually desired male ethnicity group by statistics, but statistics are statistics… all you need is one you like that says yes. I know my opinion here doesn’t really say much since I’m not a non-Asian woman nor do I know Taiwanese dating culture much, but that’s my 2 lira’s worth… :slight_smile:

Oh boy, even Asian guys back in the States have that problem as well. They will date non-Asian women but never could introduce them to their parents. I really despise that although situation is understandable. It’s hard when your Asian family supported you all the way financially, educationally, and emotionally, but stops dead at that junction of seriously dating non-Asian women (racist imho, but I know many people categorize this in ‘cultural acceptance’ bs). Of all my Asian buddies, only one married one. He is Japanese-American and she is Irish/Colombian mix, but then again, he was never close to his family.

Oh boy, even Asian guys back in the States have that problem as well. They will date non-Asian women but never could introduce them to their parents. I really despise that although situation is understandable. It’s hard when your Asian family supported you all the way financially, educationally, and emotionally, but stops dead at that junction of seriously dating non-Asian women (racist imho, but I know many people categorize this in ‘cultural acceptance’ bs). Of all my Asian buddies, only one married one. He is Japanese-American and she is Irish/Colombian mix, but then again, he was never close to his family.[/quote]

Thats the usually the case. Funny thing is my parents are very open, they wont let their thought process hamper my happiness and yet we are very close. They usually say this… as long as you are happy, that makes us happy.

I think i’ve had worst of luck in finding non-asian women in the states that i ended up just saying… at this point as long as i find my soulmate im fine. I think i never really had a “worst experience” when it comes to Asian women maybe trying out new area and people might help my cause lol.

But I think im far from the norm… i know my cousin was never close to his heritage that his wife who is non-Taiwanese could connect to his parents only in limited ways. Every time i hung out with them with “family dinner” at times, they would have separate tables for the “English” speakers because they didn’t want to make them bored by listening to Mandarin/Taiwanese the entire dinner.

Ofc, my cousin… he doesn’t speak a lick of Mandarin or Taiwanese unlike me.

I think…my tip, maybe its just me, but i never really enjoyed going out with a non-Asian girl who’s overly in love with “Japanese” or “Korean” things… just moderate. Like … don’t go crazy with Hello Kitty but if you like Hello Kitty, just enough not too much lol. It just gets weird… i think what im trying to say is everyone has their culture, i think… guys want to see your culture not a reflection of theirs but different skin tone. ORRR i could be wrong here.

Genetic imprint and social shaping?

Females may have a small code in their genetic imprint to breed their likeness. Males not. The average male looking at a hot girl (granted each male still has his preferences largely based upon social shaping) thinks about how great sex would be with that girl. The average female may subconciously also be thinking whether the male could be good father material. And may again, subconciously prefer fathering a child more like herself.

More white women have children with white men then not. More asian women with asian then not, more black with black then not and so on.

Cross racial pairing is still the exception rather then the rule. Things are changing though.

Then there is social shaping. We all “learn” what is cool, what is hot, what is in. Etc.

We learn thin is in, fat is out. Model like is good. Mis-proportioned bad. Big tits in (except Asian girls get a pass on this one) and small tits out. Etc.

Society “teaches” us to desire largely the same things, to look up to a certain standard.

And that extends to the current favored race as well. Hollywood has made white men and women (and black men and women) desirable, less so the asian man and woman Exceptions apply.

And white men and women have certain advantages. They have blond, brown and black hair possibles. Blue or green or brown eye possibles. Asian have one default setting - black. Black people also have one default setting - brown. Less variables.

The asian woman has one great thing going for her. Her bod is currently considered “in”. Slim, usually petite and “properly shaped (tits get a pass here)”. The asian dude , sadly, largely loses out on most of the masculine cues. Chest hair? Nope. Muscular? Not usually. Big eyes? Nope. Bushy eyebrows? Nope. Mustache ? Nope. A lot of Asian guys look slightly feminine and that is currently a social turnoff for a lot of women other then Asian women.

Social/genetic preferences currently in AMERICAN Society by and large:

For white women: 1st white / 2nd black / 3rd latino / 4th Philippino ,other islander / last Chinese and other east asian (yes outranked by all including people from Tonga and India).

For white men : ALL GOOD, BABY. Just want em HOT AND S.E.X.Y.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

For Asian women : 1st white / 2nd asian / 3rd mexican or black or whatever

For Asian men : 1st white / 2nd asian / 3rd everything else

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

For black men : 1st white / 2nd asian / 3rd latina, islander, etc / last choice black

For black women : 1st black / 2nd white / 3rd latino, etc / last choice chinese and other east asian.

So asian women are lucky in America. They can be considered by all. And all want to at least date a few, if not marry one. They are akin to O positive blood. Anyone can use.

For asian men? Although many desire a white chick, most will eventually end up with asian girls. But things are changing here. Lot more white girls are going out with asian men , more latina with asian , etc. But being an asian male in America is largely like having AB negative blood. Rejected by most.

I personally find Asian men attractive but I also think that you have to find the right conditions to date one, (common language if he is actually born in Asia, his family is open-minded about interracial dating, he is outgoing enough to let you know he’s interested…) so if we go by the stereotype that girls are always looking for Mr.Right, white women might find it easier to just stick with westerners. Plus we have to consider the “weak” image that Asian boys have in western medias, not really helping.
I was lucky, and next month it will be one year since my Taiwanese boyfriend and I officilly became an item, so nothing is impossible.

Could we ease up on the “tits”? Ta! :slight_smile:

Taiwanese guys are great. My boyfriend is Taiwanese. Easily the most attentive and courteous boyfriend I’ve ever had. Plus he is super smart, interesting conversationalist, reads often, active in society, hard working, reliable, helps me out when I am sick, often gives thoughtful small gifts etc.
All of my friends who’ve met him have high praise for him too and his family have been ridiculously nice to me right since the beginning (I speak Mandarin which probably helps)

Sometimes I think the idea that Asian guys are no good is a myth promoted by bitter white male expats. :s There are other weird myths like “Asian men are too short for Western women” – I’m the median height for an American woman (162cm) and the shortest Taiwanese man I know is about the same height as I am. Also, there is a portion of Western guys who are no good (the ones in the clubs every weekend, bragging about the “Taiwanese girls are easy”) – this is what we supposedly prefer?? Uhh, I don’t think so… more like there are good and bad people in every country and you have to figure out which are which by yourself :slight_smile:

Oh, It is true that Asian men are not portrayed positively in Western media but if you want to see Asian men as objects of women’s affections then just look at Asian media :wink:

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Local people typically seem to think that Asian guys aren’t attractive to non-Asian women because of superficial qualities like physical appearance, penis size, relatively lower income potential than someone from a western country, etc. I think on some level a lot of guys would rather blame their trouble on qualities they can’t really change.

What I actually hear from non-Asian women is a laundry list of complaints that all boil down to personality and culture: Asian guys are typically too patriarchal, condescending, clingy, jealous, shy, insecure, immature, etc. Nothing at all about physical appearance, in fact. The general sentiment seems to be that if an Asian guy is confident and secure in himself and knows how to respect a woman’s independence then there’s a chance things could work. I haven’t met too many non-Asian women in Taiwan in relationships with Taiwanese guys… but absolutely all of them studied or lived abroad for many years of their lives.

Anyway, all this anecdotal and lazily heteronormative information is second-hand so take it with a grain of salt.

In general, I see far more attractive Asian men in Taiwan than attractive western men- when my head swivels, it’s usually for an Asian guy. Yet I’ve still dated predominantly western men in Taiwan (though I dated a couple of Asian men in America) simply because the conversation flows easier with native speakers and good conversation is the way to my heart. The last party I went to in Taiwan it was an ABC guy who I spent the most time with- he was the best conversationalist and he wasn’t to the stupid drunk stage and wasn’t clearly just trying to get laid. Race didn’t enter into it. If I had gone home with anyone that night, it would have been him. If I’d entered into a relationship with anyone at that party, it would have been him. I didn’t even think of what his penis size might be, and I would assume most girls don’t think about that right off the bat (other girls feel free to weigh in). So I don’t think it’s the physical that keeps western women from dating asian guys.

When it comes down to it, I just want someone with a similar cultural and linguistic background.

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What I found to happen here is that foreign girls hate local girls for obvious reasons.

It’s true!!!

And so obvious!!!

[wtf is he on about? :roflmao: ]

It’s true!!!

And so obvious!!!

[wtf is he on about? :roflmao: ][/quote]
Well, it my opinion this is obvious:

When men arrive the island they are totally fascinated by girls here. They also seem to find not very difficult to get some chicks here, that they consider hot. Foreign girls see this as a challenging environment, very competitive, when what actually happens is that many men just prefer to go with the locals for the two points previously pointed out. So, some girls, tend to blame the local girls for the situation.

I’m NOT saying what I think or like or prefer here. I’m pointing out facts. I thought that this was obvious. If it’s not, sorry, here are my excuses.

It’s true!!!

And so obvious!!!

[wtf is he on about? :roflmao: ][/quote]
Well, it my opinion this is obvious:

When men arrive the island they are totally fascinated by girls here. They also seem to find not very difficult to get some chicks here, that they consider hot. Foreign girls see this as a challenging environment, very competitive, when what actually happens is that many men just prefer to go with the locals for the two points previously pointed out. So, some girls, tend to blame the local girls for the situation.

I’m NOT saying what I think or like or prefer here. I’m pointing out facts. I thought that this was obvious. If it’s not, sorry, here are my excuses.[/quote]

Yes. Yeeees. :roflmao:

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