[quote=“Comrade Stalin”]
You foreigners just don’t don’t understand Taiwanese culture.[/quote]
No, you foreigners just expect locals to treat you like some sort of God from the west.
Locals are most offended if you show them naked photos of CaucasianSOB. Those who can stand the horror of such a spectical, say that not only did the gods inflict on him the most terrible of curses but that he is also the tallest 3 year old that they had ever seen.
The Taiwanese I met never mistook me for a god. I do not resemble, in any way, a bald asexual 600 lbs. fat ass with Dumbo sized ears and a mildly retarded grin. But if you like, you can rub my belly for a quarter.
I’m OK with that. But its their choice to do so. Its not like they get a free t-shirt for their fealty.
So its OK for you to insult their religion and their religious figures.
Strange logic there. Winning friends everywhere you go, as long as they can’t read your opinons of their “…a bald asexual 600 lbs. fat ass with Dumbo sized ears and a mildly retarded grin.”
And I charge $NT10 for a belly rub. The lines are sometimes long.
[quote=“Comrade Stalin”]
You foreigners just don’t don’t understand Taiwanese culture.[/quote]
No. No. You’re confusing us with Hernando Cortez and the locals with the Aztecs.
[quote=“Chris”][quote=“ski”]Go for dinner with your bosses or someone from Taiwan.
Have them order dinner for you, because you want to enjoy authentic Chinese food. Then with a big smile, naw on the following dishes while trying not to gag.
Cho Do Fu,
Boiled sea cucumber,
Chicken Ball soup (Testiclas),
You choose the animal intestines,
Deep fried fat and bone in oil,
Fish with the head still on.Better yet only eating the head.
Chiken Feet
Feel free to add to this list
Ski[/quote]
Any dish with more fish bones, shards of shells, shrimp legs, splinters of chicken bone, scales, fins, globules of fat, chunks of gristle, strips of skin, and scary-looking yet unidentifiable animal parts than actual food.[/quote]
Anything to do with ducks.
[quote=“ski”]Cho Do Fu,
Boiled sea cucumber,
Chicken Ball soup (Testiclas),
You choose the animal intestines,
Deep fried fat and bone in oil,
Fish with the head still on.Better yet only eating the head.
Chiken Feet[/quote]
I find the barbecued choudoufu the most edible.
Chicken balls aren’t too bad; it’s the pig ones you have to watch out for.
If you don’t like the local version of chicken feet you might be alright with the Cantonese version, served hot.
Intestines with ginger and vinegar, Hakka-style, are OK.
Haven’t tried sea cucumber – would try if offered it but heard it’s not very nice.
[quote=“joesax”][quote=“ski”]Cho Do Fu,
Boiled sea cucumber,
Chicken Ball soup (Testiclas),
You choose the animal intestines,
Deep fried fat and bone in oil,
Fish with the head still on.Better yet only eating the head.
Chiken Feet[/quote]
I find the barbecued choudoufu the most edible.
Chicken balls aren’t too bad; it’s the pig ones you have to watch out for.
If you don’t like the local version of chicken feet you might be alright with the Cantonese version, served hot.
Intestines with ginger and vinegar, Hakka-style, are OK.
Haven’t tried sea cucumber – would try if offered it but heard it’s not very nice.[/quote]
I like chodofu; also like the Thai dofu that I sometimes luck into when the boss brings some to work.
I liked (pig) chitlins (with mustard and hot sauce) before I ever came to Taiwan, and I’ve had them here and they were OK, but for some reason I don’t find them as appetizing as I did in when I was in my 20s. Maybe I’m like the field-goal kicker who missed the kick because the opposing team called timeout: I’ve had time to think. 
I prefer my fish decapitated, but it doesn’t really bother me to eat the other kind.
I’ve never knowingly had boiled sea cucumber (although, who knows, I’ve eaten a lot of food here that I still can’t identify).
I tried chicken feet once in Korea, but I could’t figure out how you could get any nourishment from them. Seems to me you could starve to death trying to live off chicken feet.
Will pass on the animal testicles (whether in soup or any other form) and the deep-fried whatsis.
Sea cucumber tatses a little like salty jelly, with a little crunch.
Now I have to run off to the toilet…
My little “issue”…
If you go to the biiiiiig reading room under the national library, and you see a foreigner dilligently studying, do not go and sit near to him. Sit on the floor if necessary, but just don’t take one of the five chairs surrounding him. He is a leper and must be treated as such.
However, make sure that as you wander around looking for somewhere to sit, you get a good look at him, and what he is doing, and mutter to your friends about him as you pass by. He won’t care. Not even if you stand there, craning your necks to see what he’s up to. It’s not obvious at all, and not at all intrusive.
If you do sit next to him, take out your books, and go straight to sleep. Do not open the books. Do not pick up a pen. If possible, spread out as far as possible. The foreigner doesn’t need his own personal desk space - he is cunning and skillful, and can juggle up to three textbooks and study guides while making notes.
If you are not sleeping, then please sniff loudly. Lots. He likes it - it is almost as soothing as the jackhammers he is foregoing at his apartment.
And if you are that goofy-looking cute girl, pleeeeease carry on looking at him, he actually does enjoy that! :lovestruck:
[quote=“Hartzell”]Pick out an attractive umbrella in the market-place and give it to your girlfriend as a present on a rainy day. Try to figure out why she doesn’t want to see you anymore …
That will be a real investigation into “cultural differences” …[/quote]
Likewise, give your lover shoes or a watch. This is much better than roses or a diamond.
And be sure to be straightforward and honest about all your sexcapades when being interviewed by the local media. The Taiwanese have an earnest desire to know exactly what we are up to in the boudoir. It’s how they learn.
If you have a pregnant woman in the office and some furniture that needs moving, by all means, have her do it. It’s good exercise.
Sounds like my transfer from Singapore to Taiwan isn’t quite what I was expecting.
Taiwanese women do not use umbrellas specifically to stop themselves from getting wet in the rain and this can be one of the most confusing cultural differences for westerners. This most curious ritual dates back to fertility rites in the Song Dynasty period (somewhere between 3,000 BC - 2000 AD).
Taiwanese women (and the occaisonal male desiring to be a woman) use umbrellas as a courting ritual. You will notice in spring and summer that love beckons all around and the eager young xiaojies show their availabilty and willingness by opening their umbrellas in the hope of attracting the men.
Sometimes the men can be observed sharing the umbrella with the lucky young xiaojie, a sure sign that he is interested. (why else would he be hiding under the umbrella unless he fit into the above catagory?)
The poor xiaojies who have left their sacred parisols behind somewhere, but who are afraid of missing out on an opportunity when they see you, can be seen using books, paper, and all manner of things as a substitute for the umbrella.
The use of the umbrella and substitutes is a clear invitation to walk with and engage the ladies in conversation. To ignore this invitation would be considered extremely rude.
If you are not sure how to get started, mentioning how well their tan is coming along would be greatly appreciated as the Taiwanese women rival each other for sexy tans, and are very worried that this cumbersome dating ritual is preventing them from getting a decent color to their skin.
Some of the more modern thinking girls openly reject this ritual as chauvinistic and defiantly do not carry umbrellas. These girls should be highly commended for their modern outlook, and deserve to be highly praised for their darker skin. If at first you are rejected for this, it may be that she is not carrying the umbrella because it is that time of the month. It would be best to acknowledge this (because the monthly cycle is greatly celebrated here in Taiwan - often referred to as a “good friend visiting” - so don’t miss this golden opportunity of celebrating with her, because she might not be the modern thinker you thought she was, but a happy girl celebrating the joys of womanhood, and you may see her with her umbrella next week. So it would be good to start off on the right foot.
This ritual of course gets a little difficult and confusing during the rainy weather (which is most of the year in Taipei). After a while you will get the hang of who wants to court and who just wants to stay dry, but until then it is best just to hit on every one.
And what about all the old obasan’s carrying umbrellas? Are they in heat too? gag
I’ve heard that in Taiwan, it’s considered very lucky to have very small siblings. A nice way to pay a compliment is to say “your girlfriend told me your younger brother is much smaller than mine.”
Did we nearly forget the extremely important “hong bao” (red envelope) game?
Kids love the red envelope game.
First you start by taking a red envelope from a child. The fact that they made it visible for you is a cue for you to join in.
Once you have snatched the red envelope, watch the child jump around happily and playfully trying to get it back. Don’t give in too easily though. The kids know when you’re making it too easy and don’t enjoy it as much.
Pretty soon (if you’re doing it right) the kid will be squealing with delight and tears of joy will be streaming down his face as he playfully leaps about trying to get the envlope back.
If you are really good at it the parents will join in too. they also try to make it as real as possible for the benefit of the children.
But a word of caution. don’t give in too easily. They will lose respect for you and probably not talk to you again. happened to me one time (I think they lost face because I was a foreigner and they played so hard that I gave in too easily.)
