A lot has been written recently about the “dating apocalypse” that is usually associated with Tinder and other “hookup” apps. Even I tried Tinder at one point although I was naively expecting a real date which is starting to seem silly.
More to the point, how does one survive the dating apocalypse? A recent Vanity Fair article talked about a guy in New York who has slept with 100 women from Tinder in the past month or something. Whether you’re a man or a woman, if you want to start a family or have a real relationship, it’s normal to find an idea like that repulsive or threatening.
One of the best looking women I ever (like to think) I had a chance with once asked me if she could go through my phone. She scoured the whole thing, including my pictures, presumably looking for Tinder, a Tinder-like app or pictures of me with other women. Was it intrusive? I guess, but it was also smart.
That is how you survive the dating apocalypse: ask to look at someone’s phone. Tell them you don’t date people who have things like Tinder on their phone. If they tell you it’s private or something, don’t start a relationship with them. This is our reality and if you can’t handle that you will be culled from the herd by 100+ Tinder hookups a month guy.
That’s an unreasonable invasion of privacy. If my wife asked to go through my phone, I’d let her. But I’d never look at her the same again, and I would still never ask the same of her.
Tinder works for people looking for flings and casual sex. That’s never been me and I wouldn’t be interested in anyone like that, so … problem solved?
The bad players don’t use apps its much easier in person and way way less time wasted
The real problem is lack of loyalty and honesty once you’re in a relationship, which is not indicated either way if you use apps to get dates or even easy sex. Some get bored of meaningless sexy very quick, or are doing it until they find someone worth stopping for.
Also its really easy for an above average guy to screw 100 girls off apps if those girls are desperate for whatever reason. It doesn’t mean anything.
Its made to sound like tinder is the culprit, when its just the guy going for any desperate offer he gets. It would happen anywhere. Apps don’t necessarily have to be used in a scumbag way
All this nonsense is yet another good reason for not having a smartphone at all, IMO
And I have to say: before I got old and decrepit, I met some pretty interesting characters on hookup sites. Not everyone is there just to bang as many people as possible in the minimum amount of time.
Meh. Who cares how good-looking she is if she’s a potential stalker?
Tinder is the slighty-thicker-portion of a wedge that started with newspaper personals. It turns out sex is fun and people will voluntarily have it and invent services to facilitate it if there are no negative consequences.
EVEN I… so sanctimonious. Passive aggressive judgment masking itself as naivety is SO compelling
If people want to go on an app and hook up, who cares? If they want to just chat, who cares? If they want to date, who cares? How is this apocalyptic?
100 in a month certainly seems extreme, but it also seems like a totally BS urban myth. But if it’s not BS, then…who cares! Good on him. Or her. I for one am pro- more people getting laid.
If someone I was dating asked to scour my phone, I would assume that person is a total control freak and I would definitely not start a relationship with such a person- in fact, I would assume that person is a nutter if they assumed I could score 100 times per month based on them not letting them have access to my phone. I’m not surprised someone who asks “Prove to me you don’t sleep with 100 people per month via a search of your phone” has a hard time finding dates :loco:
I read about this western guy that when boring, just go to an intersection and start asking women if they will give him a blowjob, and hi say he gets thousands of rejections, but also get some blowjobs. I GUESS is least painful getting rejected online.
Tinder is a pretty good way to meet people in a new place. Or dating people outside of your friends circle. I actually stayed good friends with many of my matches also.
not gonna debate about morality regarding casual relationships, it’s one’s choice and it takes two hands to clap. HOWEVER, please be honest about it. if its NSA you want, then speak that. if its relationship that you seek, speak THAT. but never ever, mix the two. I really do not believe that problems are caused by APPS, they’re caused by dishonesty.
My general feeling about Tinder and dating apps is that most of the girls I met from them were ugly. Lots of pics were photoshopped and nearly every meeting was a disappointment. Maybe only 1 in 10 girls that I met face to face could actually be considered cute, and I’m not a bad looking guy. Definitely not a model, but comfortably above average. The girls I met in daily life, on the street or events were generally much cuter, so my general feeling about these apps is that the girls on them have unrealistic expectations thus increase the likelihood a guy will directly proposition them for sex rather than pursue a serious relationship. Or maybe my problem is that I didn’t photoshop my pics.
