How to write a Limerick

Limerick protest thread

A particular weakness of mine. For example:

All this banning is making me sick
They treat us like we are thick
It won’t be too long
'Ere I say something wrong
And upset some little prick

OK. Your turn…

There was a young man called a number,
Whose posts could not have been dumber,
But now he is missed,
'Cause he’s not in our midst,
And that, i feel, is a bummer!

For 906, 'twas a most shocking morn,
Now you’re banned and feeling forlorn,
The mods you did bait,
And made them irate,
So get back to downloading your porn.

There once was a forum called Segue,
that was witty, rambunctious and fun,
but they started to ban
every shit, fuck and damn,
now the only one posting’s a nun.

The mods on this page are the best
better then all the rest
so mods please don’t frown
turn that thing upside down
PM me and I’ll oil your chest :?


Miltown is getting perverse,
with his twisted, illogical verse,
so I beg you refrain
from causing more pain
with your limericks most seriously cursed.

Chen Shui Bian is a robot, you see
He’s built and operated by Lee
Lee has in his hand
The power to command
By remote, while he’s watching TV

A bloke known as Mother Theresa,
Really thought he was quite a crowd-pleaser.
He’d post what he thought,
Though it most came to naught,
And many folks thought he’d brain fever.

S-s-s-somebody STOP me!

There was a ‘young’ mod named Sandman,
Who relentlessly abused a banned man,
“Desist!” others cried,
“Never!” he replied,
“'Cause that’s is the lay of the land, man!”

A young lad we’ll just call `The Kid’,
Once decided to blow off the lid
On the coven of mods
Who against all the odds
Used their power to bolster their ids.

But I’m saving the best for last.

A simian chap name of Monkey,
Spent some time as a Taipei Times flunky.
He was filled up with bile,
By his managers vile,
And although Segue helps, he’s still grumpy.

And finally (maybe)…

Sandman, you have caught a disease.
Stop right now! I’m down on my knees.
Your rhymes just get worse
Try writing blank verse
Or sonnets, or something else, please!

You fooled us, sly Chairman Mao
When you said: “Follow me, now.”
“Let 100 thoughts bloom.”
They did, and then “Boom!”
You done nuked 'em all, anyhow.

A man in Taipei went online
And much that he posted was fine
But the shit hit the fan
When he upset Maoman
And now all the posts here just whine.

Omni, I think you might find,
(Though your concern is awfully kind),
That I’m no longer ill,
See, I’ve taken a pill,
And have no more compunction to rhyme.

Or maybe it should have been two or three pills…

Sand and Omni, stop at once your pun games
Your rhymes are as absurd as your names
I seek not to impeach
But to warn of the sneetch
As you can see “religion” has gone to the flames

Sand-man from your rhyming desist
It seems you are constantly pissed
It gets worser and worser
And though I’m no curser
Oh fuck but now I’ve joined the list.

Goodness me, what is this on the site?
While I’m hitting the books day and night…
Ah! The cat is away
So mice play on Segue –
Are they turning our site to a blight??

You guys need to all get a grip,
Or pesticide soon I will sip.
Your rhymes are a bore,
Such a lyrical whore,
Will surely get sores on one’s lip.

From Mao ad hominem Sand,
Stop now or you will be banned.
As administrator,
'twill be sooner, not later,
I warn you, you’re going to be canned. :smiling_imp: