[sarcasm]If I recall correctly a young fellow named Vincent Chin tried to talk about feelings to a couple of unemployed auto workers who were armed with a baseball bat a few years back. He wasn’t very successful. (Google it ). Maybe if his ‘buddies’ had the advantage of really getting in touch with their feelings at an early age, Vincent would be alive today. Maybe if the 5th grader in this episode gets some help from Rufus in getting ‘in touch’ with his feelings Rufus will live to see his wedding day. Then again, I don’t know all the details. [/sarcasm]
WHere was the mother in all this is what I wonder? It’s not that Bane’s efforts are any less than effective, which he should be appluded for, because he stuck up for his kid which needs to be done more often. But being that the mother is taiwanese, and would understand the unances(sp) of the taiwanese and their thinking , Im just wondering why she didn’c come in a raise holy hell. Bane give em hell, cause what i’ve hear is that any child that is not of full taiwanese parentage is given hell.
What are you on about now? Durins Bane has already stated that he told his son to protect himself if necessary. I would have done the same thing. And I said that I would not rule out legal action, and that “perhaps he should try and arrange a sit down…” That would be the right to do if his son intends to continue on at that school because otherwise he will be left in a situation with hateful, alienated feelings all around. Yes, everybody involved does have feelings and it was those feelings that prompted the other kids to throw rocks (you can be sure none of us ever threw rocks in school right? :loco: ) and shoot off bb guns. Arranging a meeting like I am suggesting would require real guts, inteligence and self control. Qualities that I suspect Durins Bane possses in large quantities. If he goes and throws a fit at this point though he will lose whatever chance he had to demonstrate something to the community and resolve this thing in a civilized way. You guys (no not all of you) should have your heads examined for coming at him with a lot of tough talk at this point.
If this were me…after going ballistic at twice the level as you, I would make sure that the shooter and the weapon were produced and demand that the weapon be consfiscated and the shooter expelled. (Note once the weapon is produced, use it to your advantage by pointing it at the principal while making your demand…LOl, just kidding).
Get that kid expelled…its the most valuable lesson for all involved.
Actually, I think Bob has a good idea. I think all the parents of the children involved and the school should arrange a meeting to discuss the problem. It definitely wouldn’t hurt and would probably go a long way to helping the situation. I think legal action should be a little farther down on the list of first responses. You don’t need to start a whole antagonistic relationship between you, the school and the kids. This will just end up with Rufus being even more alienated.
Sorry darling, that’s not the way things work here. The best course of action is to get the legal process going. The school already had their opportunity to make things right and instead they ignored the problem and didn’t even notify the parents that their kid had be SHOT … HELLO!!! SHOT!
Sorry “Darling” I don’t think your my type. Yes, the kid was shot, with a BB… not a .45. Yes a BB can do damage but how much damage was done to DB’s child. Was a mark left, did the BB puncture the skin, did he lose an eye? How did the school lose their chance to rectify the situation? Is it solely up to the school to rectify the situation or is it up to the school and all the parents involved. Why do you need to immediately run and start legal proceedings? You can argue that with all your vast knowledge of how Taiwan works that legal proceedings is best but sorry I just don’t buy it. After talking to all parties involved about supervision issues at the school and about the bullying, if it still continues then think about legal action but it is not a first resort.
bob, wake up and smell the air pollution and filth from stray animals. LittleBuddhaTW has repeatedly pointed out that this is the real world, not the hippy paradise you apparently grew up in. Do you really think this bully gives a shit about the feelings of DB’s son? Having a little pow-wow would only make the bully think DB’s son is weaker and therefore an easier target. Bully’s only respect aggression, as I myself learned the hard way growing up in many different cities and states in the United States. Being the new kid all the time attracts attention, and lots of times that’s negative attention. Yeah yeah you said “perhaps”, but you are obviously still clinging to your happy-go-lucky fantasy about everyone sitting down to tea and crumpets. It would not change the basic nature of either the bully or his “betel-nut chewing yokel” parents.
I’m getting pissed off at all this “it’s only a BB gun nonsense”. Blah blah you had BB gun wars when you were a kid. Can you tell the difference between a premeditated attack and a game? Besides, it’s a stupid and dangerous game anyways. Kids die every single year from BB and a pellet guns, according to the US Consumer Product Safety Commission.
But that is just the point gao bo han. YOU NEVER GREW UP. You scrapped and clawed your way this far without ever getting your head totally kicked in and now you figure that makes you some kind of expert in inter-personal relations. Heck you are such an expert these days that you know all about the best approach to take in countries half way around the world! Maybe next year you will take time out of your busy beer drinking schedule to consider the fact that what I am suggesting would take real guts and intelligence and would achieve better results for everyone inolved. I know I am repeating myself here but you know, some people don’t read so well…
They lost their chance by (1) not informing DB and his wife that their kid had been shot at school, and (2) when DB went to the school looking for more information, they did nothing but brush him off rather than telling him what they would do to punish the kid (i.e. suspension, expulsion, or whatever). The incident happened on school grounds, where the children are legally under the supervision of the school. That makes them primarily liable. Getting “all the parties” together for a little warm-hearted chit-chat about how to improve relations between the youngins at school and the parents isn’t going to float here … why? Because telling mommy and daddy that their little boy is a pain-in-the-ass bully is going to make them lose face, which is going to cause tempers to flare, and will get nothing resolved. Childrens’ behavior many times reflects that of the way they were brought up … little Johnny is most likely much like his dad, so I wouldn’t expect much sympathy from the parents.
The only way to deal with bullies is to kick the total and utter shite out of them. Some thing I learned the hard way. I don’t know what country or even what planet all you touchy-feely types are on, but I’ve never been there.
The “let’s all get together and have a big love in” is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time cheers guys.
Like this could get worse if DB gets heavy. How exactly? How “worse” can it get? At what point do the aging hippies intervene? When the kid comes home missing an eye or a couple of fingers? What would you do then? Have another love-in?
O.K. so D.B. is going to instruct his son to go to school and kick the shit out of how many kids exactly? Or is he going to go and do it himself? And then what is going to happen? Perhaps the two fathers can get together and kick the shit out of each other. That way they can go on living in the same neighbourhood knowing that when things get complicated they will always be able to count on their niegbours for a bit of restraint. Sounds like a great plan. You guys should get into politics.
You have forgotten that all bullies are cowards and only do it because they can with impunity. Were you bullied at school bob? Do you know what you’re talking about? Are are you just being argumentative?
Take a look around British and American schools at the effectiveness of your softly-softly approach. Working well isn’t it?
I would like to thank each and every one of you for your input and advice. It is all very much appreciated.
Last Saturday was sports day at Rufus’ school. While I was there Rufus’ teacher, the shooter’s teacher, and the principal all came up to me and offered acceptable apologies. I was also informed that a school wide announcement was made on the issue of bringing BB guns and the like to school. I heard the announcement and it sounded severe enough that I think the students would pay attention to it. I was concerned about not not happening TO ANY STUDENT in the future rather than retribution (though on the day it happened I must confess that I was looking for retribution). Hopefully change will be affected for the better.
Kids get picked on at school. It is a fact of life. Rufus is going to have to learn to deal with it. My job is to help him deal with it in an appropriate manner. Learning any sort of martial art is also learning about responsibility. It is not a toy or something that you use to play around with your friends. I was always very careful about trying to make sure Rufus understands this (there have been times when Rufus has put his older brother Hubert in a wrist lock during on of their sibling spats). His Aikido instrcutors have always emphasized this point also. But there comes a time when one has to use it. I have told Rufus that from now on, if you feel the need, that it is a must situation, then you may use [color=red]appropriate force [/color]. Appropriate force is one of the key tenents in Aikido. Never more than necessary…I just hope a 9 year old understands this.
Legal action was an option but there were no marks on my son’s body and I thought if that is the case, then it would come down to a “he said” “she said” pissing contest. I did tell the teacher that if anything like this happens again, I’m going straight to the police…no passing Go…no collecting $200 dollars.
I think that making the staff aware of how serious I took this can help make a change for the good.
I actually think that going to the school and let’s everyone have a sit-down to talk things through is not a bad idea in and of itself. At its best, people could learn to understand each other more, and learn how to be more tolerant and kind. However, it’s a risk, and I don’t know if I would personally go that route. (Have had bad experiences dealing with school staff before. I personally do not have the strongest faith in the TW educational system or the teachers…I am sure there are great teachers in TW; I just didn’t have any who was nice enough to listen to the students and actually be there for us. Then again, that was more than ten years ago. Maybe things have gotten better. I don’t know. I hope.)
I am curious as to what the school did exactly “to take care of the situation.” Accountability here is a must. BB guns are dangerous. I was shot by my own brother with one and had bruises to remember till this day. I have forgiven him though; plus I beat the crap out of him at the time. (Little sisters don’t always lose in physical fights, actually.)
I say that it’s not a bad idea to de-escalate the anger on all sides at this point. The key is to make sure the responsible parties know that they are being held accountable and come up with some solutions. DB is probably the one that can best assess what to do to achieve that, and sounds like he did just that.
[quote=“Durins Bane”]Last Saturday was sports day at Rufus’ school. While I was there Rufus’ teacher, the shooter’s teacher, and the principal all came up to me and offered acceptable apologies. I was also informed that a school wide announcement was made on the issue of bringing BB guns and the like to school. I heard the announcement and it sounded severe enough that I think the students would pay attention to it. I was concerned about not not happening TO ANY STUDENT in the future rather than retribution (though on the day it happened I must confess that I was looking for retribution). Hopefully change will be affected for the better.[/quote]That’s good news. Sounds like they’re taking the issue seriously, and while they should have had a weapons ban in place before, at least they’ve changed it now.
Has your son had any further hassle from the shooter or his friends? As the teachers have responded well now, let’s hope they’ve had a stern word with the parents who in turn have had the sternest possible talk with their child.
It must be very hard to exercise restraint in a situation like this and I don’t envy you; nevertheless that’s what you did and it seems to have paid off.
You’ve made clear that you’ll go to the police if anything happens like that in the future; hopefully this will all ensure that nothing like this does happen again.
