Finish the story ya tease! 
?
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Haha ok here it goes.
So I was walking in at 3am or so, slightly inebriated, had not bothered with the light switch…
Suddenly there was a massive cracking sound beneath my feet as the ground appeared to be giving way.
I did a Carl Lewis hop skip and jump the span of the kitchen for my own survival !
After clinging to the side of the room to get my bearings I slowly edged along the wall and flicked on the light. My heart was pounding in my chest.
There in the middle of the room was a mysterious volcano looking object projecting upwards from the floor which I had inadvertantly stepped on. I approached it gingerly and with caution expecting a hole in the middle of the ground. But where the hole would be was simply the cement floor.
And that is how I learned about Taiwanese tile volcanoes .
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“Slightly inebriated” polite term for pissed as a rat.
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That doesn’t sound very healthy.
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My guess was cockroaches
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Exactly