I'm so lonely I want to cry


#1

Will I get flamed for this? Guess I’m still testing the waters here at Segue.
This post will contain some complaints.
If that’s not for you, PLEASE READ NO FURTHER!

Anybody else feeling lonely, unhappy, or that they haven’t accomplished their mission in life?
I’m not young anymore.
Earlier, I had envisioned myself having a great life writing, interpreting, or doing business in Europe.
I got a degree and learned several languages.
But I didn’t have the drive, focus, or esteem to follow through.
So…I’m here.
Can anybody identify?

I want to add, though, that it’s still not too late to have a great life.
I intend to have one.


#2

Would it be flaming to ask you why you feel compelled to start another misery thread instead of posting in your own Worried/Existential Issues thread?


#3

Check the China Post, I believe I saw an advertisment in there for counseling services awhile back, maybe it’s still there…


#4

Go to the church. They give sacrament of repentance before Xmas:)

regards

ax


#5

I agree with Jeff’s advice. You sound clinically depressed (you mention that the lack of self-esteem is a long-term thing). I have friends who used to sound like you. Seeing a good shrink, then getting on some kind of drug therapy pulled them out of it. Realize also that living in a foreign country, with its inherent cultural challenges, will usually exacerbate this problem.

You might not have figured out what I consider to be a central (and harsh) truth of life: the only way to have the life you want is to work your ass off to get it. Then, you have to keep working your ass off to keep it. There isn’t any other way, unless daddy has a lot of money, and is generous. Try action; it is a solid cure for most ailments.


#6

Your not alone, I garuntee. But does that make you feel any better?

That’s relative to the person your talking to.

Unless you’re like 80 it’s not to late (Oops are you 80 :shock: ). Time to get in gear or change your idea of a “great life”. My idea of a great life was living in a jungle with a wife named Jane and a pet monkey.

That’s pretty cool.

[quote=“Johnnie”]But I didn’t have the drive, focus, or esteem to follow through.
So…I’m here.
Can anybody identify?[/quote]
I already said, there are people who can identify. But they’re probably not your best source of information to make you feel better

[quote=“Johnnie”]
I want to add, though, that it’s still not too late to have a great life.
I intend to have one.[/quote]
That’s good to hear, sounds like you just need some friends to talk to. I’d have to agree with the other posters about finding some therapy or something. I’m sure there are better places on the internet to have a disscusion like this. The people don’t have to be in Taiwan to understand you.

Here’s a link to an english website about counseling services. Contact them, they can probably help.
http://www.team.org.tw/ccg/about.html

If you ever want to go to Tom’s World and play some DDR send me a PM. That makes me feel better :smiley:


#7

maybe its just the holidays… perhaps after the new year things will look different. i hope so.


#8

Top Ten Solutions for Depression

  1. When Billy Graham makes the altar call, go to the front and cry at the feet of the Saviour.

  2. Auto-erotic asphyxiation.

  3. By posting plaintive, forlorn existential messages on the internet, you can attract other like-minded souls who may be of the opposite sex, and willing to fuck you.

  4. Channel your depression into productive avenues, like rage.

  5. Accept suffering and misery as your lot in life, you worthless wretch. (This point of view is known as “Buddhism.”)

  6. Simply remember a few of your favourite things, such as brown paper packages wrapped up with string.

(That’s a plain brown paper package, with no indication of the contents, so your nosy neighbors won’t know what’s inside.)

  1. Hit your head against the wall. Again!

  2. The Taipei Times has ads for counseling services. They also have ads for exotic massage services, for approximately the same price. Ask yourself–which would make you happier?

  3. Marry and reproduce, so that future generations may perpetuate your life cycle of codependency.

  4. Become a mime. Act out your inner turmoil through riveting street performances.


#9

Nice to see that all those with overabundance of sarcasm must be still 20 years old and never had any problem in life…if there were a blue card for “gross insensitivity” I’d make sure you guys each got one.


#10

[quote=“Johnnie”]I want to add, though, that it’s still not too late to have a great life.
I intend to have one.[/quote]

And how, exactly, do you plan to do that?


#11

Hmmm…by not corresponding via e-mail with any monkeys? That might be a great first step, IMHO…

(Thanks SO MUCH for getting me into the Christmas spirit…NOT!) :imp:


#12

O fer cryin’ out loud … mine was an honest question begging an honest answer … the OP’s message is, in my opinion, clearly flamebait.


#13

I don’t know much about this kind of stuff, but you should go see an expert to see if you have clinical depression (if that is the right term?)

If you don’t have it, then I would suggest that you find ways to make your life fulfilling. Didn’t meet all your life’s goals? Well, join the club that most people in the world are members to. Don’t get wrapped up in that self pity stuff. Life is a gift and it should be used in the pursuit of fun. Moaning about what might of been is a slap in the face to the millions of folks who have not been blessed with what you have (I am assuming that you have been educated, have a roof over your head, food on your table, and a job). Instead of whining about what you don’t have, try to be thankful for what you do have.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to haul you into church and I am most definitely not a compassionate person wanting to ease the world’s suffering. I’m just trying to help you see that perhaps you should look at things differently.

Some folks here would probably think that you need a slap on the back, while there are others who might think you need a kick in the rear. You need to decide which form of motivation is best for you, use that motivation to well…motivate yourself to make any changes you deem good, and go on from there.

DB


#14

there goes my reason for living…
there goes the one of my dream…
there goes my only possession…
there goes my everything…

ax


#15

Johnnie,
It’s obvious to me from reading your original post that you could use some counseling. Please seek out the Community Counseling Center. But it’s also painfully obvious to me that you lack the motivation to DO something about your situation. Any good counselor is going to see that from the start. As a result, you’re the classic example of someone who will probably be medicated. Expect it. You’ll be prescribed an SSRI for sure.

If the SSRI works as expected after it builds up in your blood (again, if), you will have more drive and energy to change things. You MUST take advantage of that window of opportunity to actually get off your butt and change your life. Again, a good counselor will push you to do that.

If you don’t make some serious effort at that stage, you’re going to find that the drug’s effect will diminish over time and then you’ll be on the medication merry-go-round where your dosage will be increased and/or you’ll be trying all kinds of different drugs. A lot of people stay at that stage for life. You don’t want to be one of them. Good luck.


#16

If a person is clinically depressed, it is NOT something you can “get over” by “thinking positively” or doing whatever on your own. Believe me. I was with such a man for 12 years, and he’s one of the most intelligent and strongest-willed people I’ve ever met, yet could not pull himself out of whatever it was. Probably why I have such strong feelings about this particular topic.

Someday disorders of the brain chemistry will be treated the same way as disorders of the pancreas chemistry, but that day is not yet here. In the meantime, if you even think you MIGHT have this kind of problem, please seek real, professional help instead of listening to the (sometimes) well-intentioned opinions here. Some might help, others will just be specious, but what is needed is a really solid evaluation of what’s going on.


#17

I have been with such a man for 42 years - myself, and you are quite right, Ironlady. Chemotherapy does help with depression, but it will come back. There is therapy that will deal with the cause of the depression as well as the depression itself, but it is a long process.


#18

which in Taiwan, unfortunately, is most probably going to be a 30 second session with a harried quack who’ll prescribe diazepam or Prozac, or maybe both. Taken in conjunction, of course, with a third of a course of antibiotics and let’s not forget those essential antacids.

If you do manage to find a doctor here who actually knows how to diagnose and treat clinical depression, please post his details here.


#19

Featured on Newsweek.
Amazonian Shaman alternative treatment. Some drug addicts were cured here in six months and become religiously awakened.

http://www.biopark.org/ayahuasca.html

regards
ax


#20

I don’t remember that anyone suggested this at all. Who suggested that people should do things on their own?

Actually, that day IS here and we’re living it. The drug companies have totally infilitrated psychotherapy and everything is treated through the drug-treatment paradigm. Plus, your brain chemistry IS affected by your lifestyle choices, what you eat and what you drink. By improving your life and taking medication ( in some cases), therapy will work.

I agree with this. And I would like to add that it equally applies to EVERYONE that posts here.