Independent women or dependent women, would you choose?

Does men prefer independent women who SEEM stronger and can handle things on their own or women who seem to be more dependent on them? State your views! :laughing:

Both, please.

My woman = My dog

I don’t ask for subservience. I demand and expect it.

Call me traditional.

[quote=“mod lang”]My woman = My dog

I don’t ask for subservience. I demand and expect it.

Call me traditional.[/quote]

My woman = My cat

Can’t stand needy women. I like a strong willed woman, who knows what she wants, where she’s going in life and who can do things for herself.

If you want a daddy surrogate, look somewhere else sweet cheeks.

Men vary. Some like independent women, some don’t. Some like skinny women, some don’t. Some would die to date a model, some would consider that a completely worthless goal in life.

I love strong women, both physically and mentally. Am I in the majority? Who cares. If you go out with me, you are going out only with me, not the whole sex, so what does it matter what others think?

If you want a man who’ll love you for being strong, you will find one. If you want a man who’ll love you for being subservient, you will find one, too. And if you want a man to confirm that it’s alright for you to be strong before you actually risk being strong, then you will find one too. But he’ll be as ambivalent about you, as you are.

I am what most people would regard as TOO independent. But even sometimes I want to be coddled.

The problem with being independent is that you wind up being neglected. Take my worthless boyfriend for example. He has been promising to take me to the doctor for 2 months now. I would not have gone a year without finding out how worthless and unreliable he was if I were not so independent.

My view is not popular, but I maintain that in a healthy relationship a strong sense of mutual dependency will develop. The thought of my wife ever not being there for me mortifies me. Whenever I think of my life in the present or future, she’s always an integral part of it. I like to think that she feels the same way. From my observations of other couples, there are some people who are so highly independent that a break-up/divorce barely affects them. I’m shocked when I see former couples as casual friends, especially once married couples. It’s so difficult for me to imagine how they could have once been soulmates, bound eternally by love and passion, and yet are now just hand-shakin’ buddies. I always find that very weird, and I don’t think that kind of situation could or would exist were it not for the growing American reverence for independence in relationships - a concept I find to be a contradiction in terms. Too much independence leads to emotional detachment. I think people now increasingly think of marriage as just something that will “eh, hopefully work out, I guess”, as opposed to a permanent situation, for better or worse. The divorce rate clearly reflects this change in thinking.

So my direct answer to the original poster is that I prefer a more dependent woman. I think it works both ways though. I doubt many women want a man so fiercely independent that he can leave and go his own way at the drop of a hat. As stated, I think mutual dependence is part and parcel of a healthy relationship.

I agree, actually. In a healthy relationship you need the other. BUT that kind of dependence can still be had with independence.

[quote=“SuchAFob”]But even sometimes I want to be coddled.

Her ya go then:

Is that what you mean?

Well, hmm. My lovely lady is the pretty independent type, a girl who had no qualms about coming to the States for grad school, then after 2 years with her aunt in Maryland packing up and moving to West Texas where she was a 6 hour drive from the closest person she knew. She’s used to handling her own business and not relying on someone else. On the other hand however, she’s also the type that wants to see me every day, likes a lot of attention, etc.

So a little of both is what I like.

I definitely prefer independent.

I’ve learned or formed the opinion that men like what ever the best qualities their momma possessed. :smiley:

prefer independent?
dump her easily,of course. :fume:

[quote=“hopless”]prefer independent?
dump her easily,of course. :fume:[/quote]
That’s not what it is about. I find girls who can’t take care of themselves, who need you to be their father for them, to be very annoying.

When the girl doesn’t have her own opinion about things it is hard to have a good discussion with her. When she needs you to take care of things for her-- filing applications, negotiating, making personal decisions, etc.-- it doesn’t feel like an equal relationship.

And while it may be easier to dump an independent girl, it’s alot more likely she’ll dump you as well.

I am doing my laundry and iron my own shirts for 5 years now, being engaged with a totally independent woman.
OK, she is not Taiwanese, but English-Dutch mixed… :noway:
Do I look like a looser now, or will I receive congratulations PM’s from the female Forumosans?

I wanna keep my own independence and I do not expect to have someone who is warming my slippers before I got home.
No way Jose!

[quote=“hopless”]prefer independent?
dump her easily,of course. :fume:[/quote]

While it is true that most independent women won’t act like complete psychos when dumped (which I have seen my friend’s dependent girlfriends do) , I don’t think it makes us any easier to dump. Why? Because independent women tend to be pretty good at knowing what they want and getting it. And if she feels that the dumper is what she wants, she will put effort into fixing the situation. Therefore, not being easy to dump.
Then again, with a trait that belongs to independent women and not dependent ones, she will usually decide that what she wants is a man who wants her as badly as she wants him and move on.

Bullshit. My wife is absolutely SHITE at golf.

taiwanese men usually like dependent women (note: SE Asian bride phenom);

more western guys would prefer a woman who’s more independent. though for sure that’s not always the case.

[quote=“jonnygard70”]Taiwanese men usually like dependent women (note: SE Asian bride phenom);

more western guys would prefer a woman who’s more independent. though for sure that’s not always the case.[/quote]

I wouldn’t generalize so much. My man is Taiwanese and he likes VERY independent women. But I have had problems with Western men thinking I am too independent.

that’s bs.

you CAN generalize and that’s the whole idea or else the OP wouldnt have had a question, right?

a boyfriend would of course say “oh, yes, i love having such an independent girlfriend” just like guys will say a lot of stuff they know women just want to hear. it’s called not rocking the boat.

open your eyes. or perhaps you don’t live in Asia but in another place that most closely resembles the 21st century.

in asia, by and large (no, not everyone) women want a rich guy to take care of them and guys want a little girl who is pretty but doesnt talk and will just follow whatever they want.

and yes, there’s always exceptions.