Jealous of WHO?

Life Dating & Relationships
21

you did notice she asked you which one you wanted to FIST didnt you??? :slight_smile::):slight_smile:

22

Get philosophical on her. Tell her it’s a question devoid of meaning (Socrates is dead, she’s not and that 'aint changing anytime soon) and therefore answering it would be not only meaningless but intellectually dishonest and emotionally misleading.

You love her. Engaging in a little dialogue over a pint with Socrates would be cool. That’s it.

If she wants to know whether you’d choose her or a living philosopher, that’s another matter.

23

Put more simply:

That question does not deserve an answer.

24

Apologies for the multiple posts, but I’m on a roll.

Alternatively, get Platonic on her.

Ask her to imagine a man who was 100% perfect and ideal in every way (including not being boring or irritating for that reason). Everything about him is better than you. If she says “he may be perfect but he’s not you” - then he must be even more you. He could even look like you - only better.

Who would she choose? You, who she loves and yet is not perfect (I assume) or him, who by definition she would love and would be perfect?

It’s a silly question - though it could have meaning in the sense of revealing things about thought processes, assumptions and indeed whether you believe in Plato’s theory of forms.

25

good idea, but you can’t fool someone who’s not paying attention :laughing:

26

Or how about you ditch her because she sounds like an immature little girl, not a confident, mature woman?

27

Well, that’s about 90% of the girls in Taiwan, doesn’t it? At least the ones between 15 and 25. The ones older than that are, in general, pretty mature and sensible. At least in my experience. There ain’t nuthin’ better than a Taiwanese MILF. All you guys getting frustrated with your girlfriends…well, think about it for two seconds: you’re going out with 19 year old girls with no brains, experience, or emotional maturity. What do you expect? Go for the MILFs, dude. Seriously. That’s where you will find the best women in Taiwan.

28

Probably so. But my point was that it is ridiculous to tolerate this kind of childish behavior from his current girlfriend, who is the person in the spotlight here.

Sorry if I sound overly cynical, but I cannot imagine a functional, healthy, mature relationship where a man tells his lady that he has been enjoing a volume of classical philosophy, and her response is “See it is always this way with you. Pick either Socrates or me.”

Now it would be one thing if his nose was always buried in a book and he was completely ignoring her. But I don’t get that sense from the posted conversation. It sounds more like they both enjoy reading in their spare time, and he was just trying to start a conversation about what they have been reading. Her response was on par with a sixth-grader who - one day after passing a boy a note with the words “I like you” on it - now feels jilted that he did not notice her new red shoes.

29

[quote=“gao_bo_han”] Sorry if I sound overly cynical, but I cannot imagine a functional, healthy, mature relationship where a man tells his lady that he has been enjoing a volume of classical philosophy, and her response is “See it is always this way with you. Pick either Socrates or me.”

Now it would be one thing if his nose was always buried in a book and he was completely ignoring her. But I don’t get that sense from the posted conversation. It sounds more like they both enjoy reading in their spare time, and he was just trying to start a conversation about what they have been reading. Her response was on par with a sixth-grader who - one day after passing a boy a note with the words “I like you” on it - now feels jilted that he did not notice her new red shoes.[/quote]

Good point. I agree. It’s also notable that the gf in question is apparently reading Judy Blume, whose target audience is around age 11, while the OP is reading Socrates. I can’t imagine that this would be an intellectually stimulating relationship for the OP in any respect, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not stimulating in other ways. :wink:

30

Yeah but Erhu, have you ever been out with a man for his brains?

31

I must, I must, I must increase my bust!

32

AHA! I’m beginning to see why I’m not getting laid.

And even more disturbing is that I’m correcting 914 on her ditty – Only TWO “I musts,” not three.
How in the name of sweet jumping Jeebuz do I know THAT?

33

She’s reading judy blume because that’s the level her english is at. Reading a young adult novel in a foreign language is no mean feat.

34

AHA! I’m beginning to see why I’m not getting laid.

And even more disturbing is that I’m correcting 914 on her ditty – Only TWO “I musts,” not three.
How in the name of sweet jumping Jeebuz do I know THAT?[/quote]

Sorry, but 914 is right. From the Judy Blume book, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.:

[quote]“If you ever want to get out of those baby bras you have to exercise,” she told us.

“What kind of exercise?” Gretchen asked.

“Like this,” Nancy said. She made fists, bent her arms at the elbow and moved them back and forth, sticking her chest way out. She said, “I must – I must – I must increase my bust.” She said it over and over. We copied her movements and chanted with her. “We must - we must - we must increase our bust!”

“Good,” Nancy told us. “Do it thirty-five times a day and I promise you’ll see the results.”[/quote]

And I really don’t think you can get more disturbing than that.

What he said.

35

She’s reading judy blume because that’s the level her english is at. Reading a young adult novel in a foreign language is no mean feat.[/quote]

Fair enough. If she’s going to be reading more pre-teen books, you should recommend these. “Choose Your Own Adventure” books were the best!

36

[quote=“Erhu”]

Fair enough. If she’s going to be reading more pre-teen books, you should recommend these. “Choose Your Own Adventure” books were the best![/quote]

Erhu are you sure? I thought many Taiwanese had trouble making a choice. Choosing your own adventure must be a paradox for most people here

37

[quote=“Funk500”][quote=“Erhu”]

Fair enough. If she’s going to be reading more pre-teen books, you should recommend these. “Choose Your Own Adventure” books were the best![/quote]

Erhu are you sure? I thought many Taiwanese had trouble making a choice. Choosing your own adventure must be a paradox for most people here[/quote]

Maybe they have special ones where every page has something like “If you smile and stare vacantly, turn to page …”.

38

The OP should turn the tables; ‘Huh, you’d rather read ‘Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.’ than talk to me? Waaaah!’

39

Oh, choose your own adventure! How cool was that when I was 10! I bet there’s still a stack of them mouldering in the garage.

anyway, she’s reading SUPERFUDGE last i heard :laughing:

I wanted to recommend Robert Cormier but i don’t think she’d “get” him.

[quote]
Maybe they have special ones where every page has something like “If you smile and stare vacantly, turn to page …”.[/quote]

:notworthy:

40

[quote=“Brendon”][quote=“Funk500”][quote=“Erhu”]

Fair enough. If she’s going to be reading more pre-teen books, you should recommend these. “Choose Your Own Adventure” books were the best![/quote]

Erhu are you sure? I thought many Taiwanese had trouble making a choice. Choosing your own adventure must be a paradox for most people here[/quote]

Maybe they have special ones where every page has something like “If you smile and stare vacantly, turn to page …”.[/quote]
That’s funny, sure, but it’s not fair to a lot of Taiwanese who aren’t like that.

In fact, I talked to one of them recently and I told her this whole story. She laughed and then said seriously: “I don’t understand men.”
I laughed and said: “Well, the good news is, they don’t understand us either.”

But seriously, beautifulspam, would you mind helping me understand a few things? For example, how do you make your relationship work and what do you get out of it?
Communication in a relationship is hard enough without the language barrier. If her English is on that said level, is your Chinese better? Or do you find that the limited communication actually works better? (I’ve heard this from others)
If you’re interested in philosophy but you can’t discuss that with your girlfriend, does that matter? I’ve heard many men say they don’t care too much what intellectual level their gf/wife has because they don’t need that from them, they can get it somewhere else. Which I guess, if I really try, I can understand a little, It must be like when girls want to talk clothes and makeup with other girls.
In other words, you don’t necessarily need to satisfy all your needs within your relationsihp.
Is that how it works for you?

This is not an issue specific to us here, at all. Before living in Taiwan I’ve been in mixed language relationships myself and I’ve friends who have or are, so this a pretty universal question. My current boyfriend’s Croatian is crap, but his English is not too bad.

Oh, and just out of curiosity, you said your girlfriend approved you posting the MSN convo, has she also read this thread?