Jealous of WHO?

[beautifulspam]

[quote]But seriously, beautifulspam, would you mind helping me understand a few things? For example, how do you make your relationship work and what do you get out of it?
Communication in a relationship is hard enough without the language barrier. If her English is on that said level, is your Chinese better? Or do you find that the limited communication actually works better? (I’ve heard this from others) If you’re interested in philosophy but you can’t discuss that with your girlfriend, does that matter?
I’ve heard many men say they don’t care too much what intellectual level their gf/wife has because they don’t need that from them, they can get it somewhere else. Which I guess, if I really try, I can understand a little, It must be like when girls want to talk clothes and makeup with other girls.

In other words, you don’t necessarily need to satisfy all your needs within your relationsihp.
Is that how it works for you? [/quote]

What you seem to be asking me is, how can I be happy dating a woman I can’t connect with intellectually. After a lifetime of watching the talented, intelligent women in my life go straight for the alpha dog instead of the intellectual, I refuse to feel guilty about having a relationship based on physical attraction.

And yes, broadly speaking men differ from women in that we don’t require our SO to be our first, our last, our everything. I have a girlfriend and a life.

[quote]
Oh, and just out of curiosity, you said your girlfriend approved you posting the MSN convo, has she also read this thread?[/quote]

Of course. I gave her the link.

[Tigerman]

@tash

But seriously, beautifulspam, would you mind helping me understand a few things? For example, how do you make your relationship work and what do you get out of it?

I’ll chime in with my experience in this regard, if you don’t mind. When I met my wife, she barely spoke any English and I had just started on book 1 Chinese Conversation. But, I was attracted to her like I’d never been attracted to any other girl. And although the attraction was mutual, it took us an entire year to take the leap into each other’s arms and trust.

@tash

Communication in a relationship is hard enough without the language barrier. If her English is on that said level, is your Chinese better? Or do you find that the limited communication actually works better? (I’ve heard this from others)

At first, limited communication was OK. Then, over time my Chinese improved and her English improved. After a while, we understood each other without having to use much verbal language at all. Now, after 23 years, I don’t think either of us are even conscious of whether we are speaking Chinese or English to each other. And of course, sometimes we mix the two up a bit.

@tash

If you’re interested in philosophy but you can’t discuss that with your girlfriend, does that matter? I’ve heard many men say they don’t care too much what intellectual level their gf/wife has because they don’t need that from them, they can get it somewhere else.

An inability to discuss philosophy in any one language is not necessarily an indication of lower intelligence. But, I wasn’t never looking for someone with whom to discuss nonsense. I wanted intimacy, on all the important levels. And that’s what I got. I love having my wife with me. She knows everything about me and what I like, even if she doesn’t share my interests. And I know what she’s thinking before she even thinks of opening her mouth to speak it. I know how she will react to whatever, and she knows what I will do in any given situation. She gives me the freedom to go bullshit (solve the problems of the world) with the boys (and girlies) and is there for me when I stumble home afterward. I support her in her gigs, sometimes washing dishes in the back. Some folks might think such a life/relationship is dull/boring. But, it suits me just fine.

@tash

In other words, you don’t necessarily need to satisfy all your needs within your relationsihp.

Only the important needs. And she does that just fine.

@tash

Is that how it works for you?

Yeah. I guess so.

[quote=“The Grateful Dead in Sugar Magnolia”]
She’s got everything delightful
She’s got everything I need
Takes the wheel when I’m seeing double
Pays my ticket when I speed

She come skimming through rays of violet
She can wade in a drop of dew
She don’t come and I don’t follow
Waits backstage while I sing to you

She can dance a Cajun rhythm
Jump like a Willy in four wheel drive
She’s a summer love in the spring, fall and winter
She can make happy any man alive[/quote]

[quote=“The Band in Up on Cripple Creek”]
Up on Cripple Creek she sends me
If I spring a leak she mends me
I don’t have to speak, she defends me
A drunkard’s dream if I ever did see one[/quote]

[tash]

beautifulspam,
I’m sorry you felt you needed to get defensive about my question.
I even threw in a reference to my own multi-cultural experience(s) and a joke, to show you that this is not one of those “attacks by the bitter western woman”, but alas.

Tigerman,
Thank you. That’s the kind of insight I was hoping for.

Just one little clarification: I was talking about intellectual level, not intelligence.

[douseeme]

There was a girl who I knew in US.
She liked to think everyone is jealous of her.
when she aruged with her co-workers,that’s not her fault.
Because they are jealous of her ability.
When she was banned from a website.That was not her fault.
Because the Mod is jealous of her.Everyone liked her there.
When she was angry ,it was not her fault.
Because people were jealous of her so made her being angry purposely.
…
She thinks she is perfect.all are not her faults.
People are jealous of her.

[TomHill]

MrsHill started a similar convo up last week on MSN… It went something like this… (except I was MUCH funnier.)

MH: I have something very important to tell you.
TH: Is it about your credit card?
MH: No. I am cheating on you. I have a new boyfriend.
TH: Good for you. Is he handsome?
MH: HE is very handsome and Western too.
TH: I hope you will be very happy together. Is he richer than me?
MH: Oh much richer. He owns his own company. He can buy me anything I want.
TH: Excellent. Let me know when you will be sending me back my stuff and wiring me back all the money I lent you.
MH: Don’t you want to know his name?
TH: Is it Dumbo or Muggsy?
MH: No, It’s NTSCU! My job is my new boyfriend.
TH: Are you comparing the trouble you have at work with the trouble you have being with me?
MH: You weren’t jealous. Why weren’t you jealous?
TH: Do you really think that after all this time together I don’t know you well enough to A) believe you would break up with me by MSN and B) have the time and inclination to cheat on me? Ha ha ha.
MS: (Inserts crying icon.) I didn’t make you worried.
TH: Nope. Laters.

See, you just turn the tables, and don’t let that stupidity in the door. Of course, on one level the conversation is tongue-in-cheek, but on another level it’s worryingly insane. Still, gotta love her. (It’s in the contract I signed!)

[Puppet]

[quote]
Taiwan GF: if now you have socrates at right and I am at
left which one you want fist
BSPAM: you mean if he came here in a time
machine like in Bill and Ted?
Taiwan GF: right
BSPAM: i love you
BSPAM: but i want to talk to socrates
before he goes back to ancient athens
[/quote][/quote]

How good is your Greek? (Wouldn’t that suck?)

[Qingdao]

One thing missing from this conversation is the always-entertaining repetition of two female favorites: “always” and “never.”

As in, “you ALWAYS ride your motorcycle with your friends, you NEVER hang out with me…” or fill in blank as you like