You’re in my prayers Mordeth. I do hope it works out. I’d suggest a lot of things, but I think you need a breather the most to get focused and not to act out irrationally, which is really hard to do when you have a kid. 2 years is an eternity in this kind of situation.
[quote=“Maoman”]Mordeth, I’ll start with a disclaimer: My experience as a husband, and the heard experiences of my married friends is largely limited to Taiwan. It’s my belief that many Taiwanese women will say things they do not mean. Instead, it’s the dramatic effect that those words have that they seek. What kind of effect does your wife hope her words has on you?
If you don’t know, then try this as a course of action: Do everything she has suggested, even if it means that she is lounging like a princess and you are working like a slave. Be her servant, and do it without attitude. Do it because you love her. She is obviously a generous, charitable person (she married you, after all), so give her the benefit of the doubt. She’s the woman you committed your life to, and she’s the mother of your son. Give her the very damned best you can give her. Maybe she’s going through a rough time. I’m sure that when she sees that you are truly doing your best by her, she will “feel the love” and respond in kind.
If after a suitably long period you feel that your love isn’t being reciprocated, then I guess you have to explore your next options. Those options are usually extremely painful for the whole family, especially the children, so make sure you’ve gone WAY above the call of duty before you even contemplate that.
PS When you start your efforts as superhusband / superdaddy / superbreadwinner / man of the house, keep your attitude in check. If she thinks that you’re doing it to “make a point” or to make her look bad, then you’re doing it wrong. Do it with love. 
[/quote]
POWERFUL and WISE words !!
Yes Taiwanese (especially the women) are often highly melodramatic and will say what is one of their worst fears. She may say “why don’t you go back to CAnada” when that is one of her worst fears.
[quote=“mordeth”]Yes, that’s my plan. Tough it out for two more years. Need 3 years of marriage for an APRC.[/quote]Well, I hate to darken the light at the end of your dismal tunnel, but you’re incorrect.
The basic time qualification for people who have a Taiwanese spouse to apply for the APRC is FIVE YEARS of marriage. It’s not three years. It’s never been three years.
The basic time qualification for people who have a Taiwanese spouse to apply for citizenship is THREE YEARS of marriage. If you aren’t married, then it’s FIVE YEARS.
Its very sad when two people who should be each others best friends and closest partners choose a path to denigrate and wish each other evil.
Iv been there, its ugly. Often its not intentional. But its always good to THINK only good thoughts of those that are closest to you, lest you allow words to escape that will haunt you and bring the ship under. Words are powerful. Control your THOUGHTS and THINK only good of those you love or should love and good words will come out that will bring togetherness and love. People often forget that you said you love them, that is why you say that daily and often so they dont forget, but they will remember hurtful words you said to them, even in jest and NEVER forget those words and they WILL haunt you.
You dont know it Mordeth but life is NOW. Stop thinking all the what ifs and how many women you can snare if you didnt have your wife. You have got her now, make up with her , tell her you are sorry for the very mean things you said and you dont meant it at all. Show her all the love you can. You will discover once again why you married this lady. She very well may be THE WOMAN AND LOVE OF YOUR LIFE and you will NEVER get another better. Think about that and make every effort to work things out.
Time flies by fast. Soon many decades may have passed and you may NEVER find another one better then the one you have now. Don’t let that be your life.
divorce
Trust me, I know where you’re coming from, been there, done that and got the T-shirt pretty much.
Before I upped and left my ex in the UK I went through all sorts of shit with her, although I didn’t say the kind of things you did to her.
I still have some nice scars from her and she even tried to attack me with a hammer one time…
I’m not trying to defend what you said in any way, but there are times when you just have to move on that was the only solution for me.
Sure, life isn’t perfect here, I still have arguments with my GF, but they’re nothing like the shit I’ve gone through…
I just feel sorry for your kiddo to be stuck in the middle…
[quote=“Northcoast Surfer”][quote=“mordeth”]Yes, that’s my plan. Tough it out for two more years. Need 3 years of marriage for an APRC.[/quote]Well, I hate to darken the light at the end of your dismal tunnel, but you’re incorrect.
The basic time qualification for people who have a Taiwanese spouse to apply for the APRC is FIVE YEARS of marriage. It’s not three years. It’s never been three years.
The basic time qualification for people who have a Taiwanese spouse to apply for citizenship is THREE YEARS of marriage. If you aren’t married, then it’s FIVE YEARS.[/quote]
Can anyone confirm this? I know it used to be 5 years…but I heard it was changed to 3 if you are married as of last year, for an APRC.
so you’re basically in it for an APRC or do you actually like her. The moment you have gotten what you need from her (to stay in the country) please divorce or something because it’s much better for a kid to be without a parent than to live in that tension!
It really sounds like you’re more upset about not getting your APRC than your marriage not working out.
As for the APRC, if you were on an ARC before you got married, then you might be better off counting the time before marriage and trying to accumulate your five years that way. I think the rules have changed, and it’s now also a period of five years for people that are not married, so you might be better off applying for an APRC as an individual and not as a foreign spouse. Of course, this is assuming that you otherwise meet the qualifications. Better legal minds will be able to advise you better than me, but it’s something to think about. If you’ve been married for only 1 year, then waiting 4 years will be an eternity. Hopefully by using time spent in Taiwan before marriage, you can bring that time down considerably.
Weren’t you considering an APRC before you got married? What made you change your mind?
forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopi … hilit=aprc
Scomargo is right. You can use the time you accumulated legally on an ARC prior to your marriage to count towards your APRC. The easiest way (and only way, really) is to simply ask the nice folks at the NIA to check if you meet the residency requirements to apply.
The marriage sounds like a train wreck to me. My hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-wife regularly told me to fuck off back to the UK, which isn’t really fair since I was a permanent resident of Canada when I met her and gave that up for a life in Taiwan. She was physically and verbally abusive in many many ways. When I finally did decide to get out of her life it was a total nightmare and hey, whaddya know, she didn’t really want me to leave after all. Maybe she should have considered better the things she was saying during the eight years of work-free, spouse-abusing living that she enjoyed while I was dumb enough to let her.
In my opinion, it’s better to get out of that kind of situation sooner rather than later, and it’s better to be alone than to be with someone just because you fear you might never find anyone better. When it comes to your spouse, “good enough” simply isn’t.
Good luck!
[quote=“spaint”]Scomargo is right. You can use the time you accumulated legally on an ARC prior to your marriage to count towards your APRC. The easiest way (and only way, really) is to simply ask the nice folks at the NIA to check if you meet the residency requirements to apply.
The marriage sounds like a train wreck to me. My hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-wife regularly told me to fuck off back to the UK, which isn’t really fair since I was a permanent resident of Canada when I met her and gave that up for a life in Taiwan. She was physically and verbally abusive in many many ways. When I finally did decide to get out of her life it was a total nightmare and hey, whaddya know, she didn’t really want me to leave after all. Maybe she should have considered better the things she was saying during the eight years of work-free, spouse-abusing living that she enjoyed while I was dumb enough to let her.
In my opinion, it’s better to get out of that kind of situation sooner rather than later, and it’s better to be alone than to be with someone just because you fear you might never find anyone better. When it comes to your spouse, “good enough” simply isn’t.
Good luck![/quote]
Well said.
With regards to counting years before I got married towards getting an APRC. Each time you let a visa run out…the clock resets. When my ARC ran out I went to England and got a visiting visa before applying for my JFRV. So…there were a couple of days when I was in England and didn’t own any type of Taiwan Visa. So the clock reset itself. And I have to do another 5 years even though I’ve been here every month for the last 11 years.
I lived with my wife once before we were married. Many years ago. She didn’t work then either. And at that time she didn’t clean or cook…AT ALL. She would just bitch and complain that I didn’t take her out enough and that I used my computer too much…while she sat in my home contributing nothing and living for free. So why did I marry her then? Well like I said that was years ago and since that time she got a difficult hard working 12 hour a day job and was very good at it and started to save lots of money. And I thought “wow, she seems hardworking and dedicated…maybe we can give it another shot.” And while we were both busy with our works we got along fine. Then she got pregnant…we got married…and now she has tons of free time and is reverting back to her bitch self. And yes, it sounds like she should get a job…but you try telling her that.
[quote=“Mordeth”]
Well said.
With regards to counting years before I got married towards getting an APRC. Each time you let a visa run out…the clock resets. When my ARC ran out I went to England and got a visiting visa before applying for my JFRV. So…there were a couple of days when I was in England and didn’t own any type of Taiwan Visa. So the clock reset itself. And I have to do another 5 years even though I’ve been here every month for the last 11 years.
I lived with my wife once before we were married. Many years ago. She didn’t work then either. And at that time she didn’t clean or cook…AT ALL. She would just bitch and complain that I didn’t take her out enough and that I used my computer too much…while she sat in my home contributing nothing and living for free. So why did I marry her then? Well like I said that was years ago and since that time she got a difficult hard working 12 hour a day job and was very good at it and started to save lots of money. And I thought “wow, she seems hardworking and dedicated…maybe we can give it another shot.” And while we were both busy with our works we got along fine. Then she got pregnant…we got married…and now she has tons of free time and is reverting back to her bitch self. And yes, it sounds like she should get a job…but you try telling her that.[/quote]
It sounds like she may be frustrated with herself because she isn’t contributing in some form. Not every woman is meant to be a mother or looks forward to being one. Just because it’s the “fairy tale” we’ve been breastfed on doesn’t mean it’s the reality. She may be resentful that she isn’t working or doing something that gives her what she needs. And not knowing that results in the tangled mess that you’re dealing with.
Sorry to hear about all of it. Disclaimer: I’ve never been married however, can say a household full attitude makes for a battle ground where no one wins. Someone’s gonna have to give up being “right” if anything is going to be right in your situation.
There is nothing in Taiwan’s law that expressly says this, although some people read this into the law. There are people who have “let visas run out” and still gotten their APRCs, and others who have been rejected on that ground, and still others who have been rejected and appealed successfully and gotten their APRCs. The only way you’ll know in your own case is to apply, and if you are rejected, then to file an administrative appeal. (But you will still need of course to meet the minimum requirement, which is having resided in Taiwan with an ARC and/or JFRV for over six months in each year of the consecutive five-year qualifying period.) This has been discussed extensively in the Visa forum.
If worst comes to worst, couldn’t you also just look for a job to give you an ARC and continue residing on that basis? – not an ideal solution, but still a possibility. Or, as someone mentioned, you may be eligible for a JFRV on the basis of your Taiwanese child. A lawyer could help you with this.
There is nothing in Taiwan’s law that expressly says this, although some people read this into the law. There are people who have “let visas run out” and still gotten their APRCs, and others who have been rejected on that ground, and still others who have been rejected and appealed successfully and gotten their APRCs. The only way you’ll know in your own case is to apply, and if you are rejected, then to file an administrative appeal. (But you will still need of course to meet the minimum requirement, which is having resided in Taiwan with an ARC and/or JFRV for over six months in each year of the consecutive five-year qualifying period.) This has been discussed extensively in the Visa forum.
If worst comes to worst, couldn’t you also just look for a job to give you an ARC and continue residing on that basis? – not an ideal solution, but still a possibility. Or, as someone mentioned, you may be eligible for a JFRV on the basis of your Taiwanese child. A lawyer could help you with this.[/quote]
I’ve looked around these forums for lawyer recommendations…and have yet to find any. And what I did find were cases of lawyers taking the money and doing nothing. Or even worse taking the money and then going behind the foreigner’s back and telling the wife what the foreigner was trying to do and getting more money off of her. But yeah, I’m sure a good lawyer exists…just not sure about how to go about finding one yet.
I’ve been in Taiwan for over 11 years. I’ve only left for 2 week long vacations 3 times.
When I tried applying for the APRC they said that I had a 2 day period between jobs…where I didn’t have an visa. So the clock reset. They were very adamant that this was the rule. And they said they wouldn’t bother sending in my application because it would be rejected on that basis. But if you are saying that that’s incorrect…then I should consider getting an APRC now. But as a Canadian I pretty much need to fly to Canada to get my criminal check…other wise it takes up to 12 months to get mailed out. So…I’d need to be sure on the rules before flying to Canada for one piece of paper.
Sorry that this shit is still going on between the wife and you, Mordeth. Anyway, about the criminal check, I just got it done and it took about 2 months, that’s including sending it off to the RCMP, getting it back, and sending it to TECO for notarization, and back to Taiwan. But it wasn’t cheap, I used priority mail to save time, but each priority delivery cost $70CDN. Just get your APRC, and save yourself from all this stress. PM me for more details about getting the RCMP CCRD.
[quote=“Mordeth”][quote=“Northcoast Surfer”][quote=“mordeth”]Yes, that’s my plan. Tough it out for two more years. Need 3 years of marriage for an APRC.[/quote]Well, I hate to darken the light at the end of your dismal tunnel, but you’re incorrect.
The basic time qualification for people who have a Taiwanese spouse to apply for the APRC is FIVE YEARS of marriage. It’s not three years. It’s never been three years.
The basic time qualification for people who have a Taiwanese spouse to apply for citizenship is THREE YEARS of marriage. If you aren’t married, then it’s FIVE YEARS.[/quote]Can anyone confirm this? I know it used to be 5 years…but [color=#FF0000]I heard it was changed [/color]to 3 if you are married as of last year, for an APRC.[/quote]Oh, you’ve heard this have you? I’ve already confirmed this for you. If you don’t like the answers, don’t ask the questions! :fume: Banqiao’s Immigration phone number is listed below. Call them yourself. Below is a link to the thread where I originally answered this question.
[quote=“bismarck”]Actually, if you’re married, I think the five years requirement is reduced to three. Same for citizenship.[/quote][quote=“itakitez”]Soooo, just wondering if someone could clear this up, is APRC after marriage only 3 years?[/quote]I just got off the phone with the immigration department in Panciao and here’s the answer they gave on July 3, 2009 at 16:00. Here’s the phone number in case anyone else wants to call and ask. 8964-7960 ext. 202.
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The basic time qualification for people who have a Taiwanese spouse to apply for the APRC is [color=#FF0000]FIVE YEARS[/color] of marriage. It’s not three years. It’s never been three years.
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The basic time qualification for people who have an employment based ARC to apply for the APRC is [color=#FF0000]FIVE YEARS[/color]. It used to be seven years, but the law was amended and the new five year requirement took effect August 1, 2008.
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The basic time qualification for people who have an employment based ARC to apply for naturalization is [color=#FF0000]FIVE YEARS[/color].
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The basic time qualification for people who have a Taiwanese spouse to apply for naturalization is [color=#FF0000]THREE YEARS[/color]. I asked the immigration officer why the time for naturalization was less than the APRC and she answered. “Because it’s the law!” I pressed further and she told me because naturalization is such a long process and if you begin it right at your three year mark of marriage, you won’t actually get citizenship until about the five year mark. This is due to the fact that you first get a Taiwan Area ID, become a stateless person for one year, can’t leave the island for one full year or the clock starts back at zero, etc. etc. blah blah blah…therefore, it ends up being about five years average after you attain full citizenship anyway. See Coolingtower, Pogao, Satellite TV if you want to know the exact details on becoming a naturalized Taiwanese citizen. They are the duty experts and are very knowledgable and have indicated their willingness in their past postings to help anyone who wants to take the naturalization path.[quote=“itakitez”]Also, once you have the APRC are you obliged to remain here 183 days per year EVERY year? ie, if I get it and then curtail back home for a few years to earn some reddies, can I come back on the APRC?[/quote]Once you get your APRC you are required to reside in Taiwan at least 183 days per year or you will lose your APRC. If you need to leave Taiwan for an extended period, like 1~2 years. You need to first make an appointment with the immigration department and ask and be granted permission first. The immigration officer indicated that reasons for granting permission would be things like advanced studies like M.A. Ph.D., etc. or a family illness (long term in nature) that would require your presence for an extended period of time. A doctor’s prognosis or order would be needed to provide sufficient proof and support of the reason for extended absence from Taiwan. She also indicated that permanent residency means that you should primarily live permanently in Taiwan. That’s why the APRC would be granted in the first place. She recommended that if an individual wishes to travel and reside outside of Taiwan without restrictions or time constraints, that they should opt for naturalization versus permanent APRC status.
Well…thanks for clearing things up Northcoast Surfer. But I honestly feel sick now. I thought I had 2 more years to go…not 4…I probably can’t do 4.
I could try to get an APRC based on the fact I’ve been here for 11 years. But I have to do it at the Taoyuan office…tried doing it in Taipei and they said I had to apply in my area. And the people at the Taoyuan office won’t even process my application because there is a day or two where I let a visa expire before getting a new one.
Wait, wasn’t there like a two year period of grace, after the change in your visa status? Maybe there is still a chance, if you were OK time wise before.
Mordeth, there’s one more thing you need to know. It’s not important for married persons applying for an APRC but for independent applicants you might still need your Income Tax Statements from the tax office. If you’ve been jointly filing taxes since marriage and your wife has been listed as the primary taxpayer (if you’ve been filing online this will undoubtedly be the case since ARC numbers aren’t processed by their online filing software) then congratulations! You have ceded a perpetual Power of Attorney over access to these documents of the relevant years to your wife.
I wrote about it here: A warning for foreigners filing joint taxes
I’m not exactly saying that it’s “incorrect” (although I personally believe it to be incorrect and contradictory to the spirit of the law), I’m saying that it is a gray area and the wording of the law is vague. However, this “no breaks between ARCs” interpretation does appear to be commonly espoused by the staff of the NIA. Nevertheless, at least one other Forumosan has reported on these boards about being granted his APRC right off the bat despite a “break” between ARCs. In my own case, I was rejected on the grounds that I had a six-week break during which I had illegally overstayed and had no visa at all (a fact). But I appealed the rejection with the help of a couple of good lawyers, making the argument that despite the 6 week overstay I had still met the definition of “continuous residency” under the law, i.e. more than 6 months with a residence visa in each of 7 (it was 7 at that time, now 5) consecutive years. So, if you actually take it to court with a decent lawyer, I think you have a good chance of prevailing. And if you make it very clear to the NIA when you apply that you will appeal any rejection that is not based on an express legal requirement, I think that they will think twice before rejecting you. But you have to realize going in that this is not a sure thing, and it could be a time-consuming and somewhat costly process.
As for good lawyers, I work for a corporate law firm with a number of excellent lawyers, but I’m not posting here to advertise their services. Frankly, their services, while outstanding, are directed somewhat more at corporate clients than individuals, as is their pricing. Nevertheless, if you need their contact info, pm me. Meanwhile, I would encourage other posters who may know good attorneys working in this area – especially good individual practitioners – to post their contact info.