Joke of the Day 2019

#1

So one day a lonely Sheila puts an ad in the classifieds:
"Looking for a man. Only have three requirements.

  1. He doesn’t drink too much
  2. He won’t run away from me
  3. He’s good in bed"

A couple of days later she hears the doorbell ring. Opens the door to see a man with no arms and no legs.
“Gday” he says. “I’m here for the ad. I don’t have any arms so I won’t be drinking too much pom kryptonite (slang for beer because poms can’t go near a good cold beer). And I don’t have any legs so I won’t be running away from you.”
“So what makes you think you’re good in bed?” She replies
“Well I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?” He responds

#2
3 Likes
#3

Why is it called an Xbox 360?
Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away! :rofl:

#4

So a priest was finishing his tour of duty in the jungles of South America. He decides he better teach them a bit od English before he goes. So he gets the chief and off the go walking in the jungle.
“Rock”, he says, pointing at a rock.
“Tree” he says, pointing at a tree
And so they go on
But before long they come along a man and a woman doing the dirty in a cluster of bushes
Flustered, the priest tells the chief"m-man riding b-bike!"
Without a word, the chief takes out his bow and arrows and shoots them both dead
The priest blows up “what have I taught you?! About sin? About killing?”
The chief turns to him and says:
“My bicycle”

1 Like
#5

Did you hear the one about Xi Jinping and China?

[Removed]

1 Like
#6

You know that if you turn 360 degrees you end up where you started, no?
Unless, of course, you are suggesting to moonwalk away :grin:

3 Likes
#7

LOL, that surely is straight to the point.
I wonder if they end up being together.

#8

Wrong thread, @jbuenavides.
I guess you were trying to post here?
Marriage proposal: who can make a video in Taipei?

#9

I asked my friend what it’s like living in China.

He said he can’t complain.

6 Likes