I have to write some kindy graduation speeches. Does anyone have any examples or advice. They need to be about a page long. I don’t really know where to begin. Any help would be appreciated.
It’s a difficult question. What the f is a kindergarten graduation speech?
If someone asked me to do one on the spur of the moment I would start with ‘Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him…’
If they want you to teach your students to make a kindergarten graduation speech I’d make the little buggers memorize the same. You want to make them memorize something that can serve them through life and if they get this one, they’ll always have a good speech up their sleeve when called upon at odd moments - elementary school graduation, high school, reunions, weddings, funerals, everything:
“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answer’d it.
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest -
For Brutus is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men -
Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.
He hath brought many captives home to Rome
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.
You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,
And I must pause till it come back to me.”
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR GRADUATION!
Better late than never they say. 
A few years ago I was roped in to “teach” at an “English Camp”. I had to do a sort of “jungle jim” bivouacing demo, (which is what I’d originally agreed to) then help them to pitch their tents. This escalated to sleeping out with them under canvas while all the Chinese teachers snuck off to a nice hotel. Then next day I had to do assault coursy stuff, camp cooking, and assist a group with a drama, judge a drama competition, and then, just when I reckoned on sneaking off for a coffee, I had to present the prizes before the proud parents.
I was a bit stressed, because I’d hadn’t had any sleep the night before due to a grading deadline on my day job. I mis-judged the drama, over-compensating for a partiality for my group by marking them down, though they should have won, so I was feeling guilty about that, and I had a splitting headache.
Overall I’d found the whole thing a bit of a strain. I’m not really used to kids.
When I was introduced by my “host” with “Ed will now say a few nice words in Chinese” I’m afraid I lost it a bit.
I don’t speak fucking Chinese, as my “host” knew full well, and, in my irritated state I didn’t take kindly to being set up for a laugh-at-the-ignorant-barbarian session, however well deserved.
Probably an over-reaction, but that’s how it struck me in the second or two I had to think about it.
Could have been worse. I sang the Ying-tong Song (with variations)
Oh those crazy rythms, Driving me INSANE!
Zongwen! Zongwen! Zongwen! (hit head with microphone)
Oh it hurts my brain
Yingtong yingtong yingtong yingtong
Yingtong yiddle Ai Po…
(Pass over mike to host to join in chorus, That’ll learn her. She does goldfish impersonation)
Kids seemed to like it but the parents and staff were, unsurprizingly a bit WTF?
Didnt want to be asked back anyway.
Here’s a sample. The full things on youtube too but I won’t inflict that on you. I suspect you have to be British, and a certain age…
Start them off right:
After “Hello, my name is_____. I’m in class _____. Et, cetera,…Thanks so much for listening to our drivel…”
:
The Enemy
“My youth has been nothing but a tenebrous storm,
Pierced now and then by rays of brilliant sunshine;
Thunder and rain have wrought so much havoc
That very few ripe fruits remain in my garden.
I have already reached the autumn of the mind,
And I must set to work with the spade and the rake
To gather back the inundated soil
In which the rain digs holes as big as graves.
And who knows whether the new flowers I dream of
Will find in this earth washed bare like the strand,
The mystic aliment that would give them vigor?
Alas! Alas! Time eats away our lives,
And the hidden Enemy who gnaws at our hearts
Grows by drawing strength from the blood we lose.”
The world today seems absolutely crackers,
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There’s fools and idiots sitting on the trigger.
It’s depressing and it’s senseless, and that’s why…
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees,
Yet they’re always friendly, and they’re ready to please.
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
There’s nine hundred million of them in the world today.
You’d better learn to like them; that’s what I say.
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They come from a long way overseas,
But they’re cute and they’re cuddly, and they’re ready to please.
I like Chinese food.
The waiters never are rude.
Think of the many things they’ve done to impress.
There’s Maoism, Taoism, I Ching, and Chess.
So I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
I like their tiny little trees,
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin, and yang-ese.
I like Chinese thought,
The wisdom that Confucious taught.
If Darwin is anything to shout about,
The Chinese will survive us all without any doubt.
So, I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees,
Yet they’re wise and they’re witty, and they’re ready to please.
All together.
[verse in Chinese]
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Ni hao ma; ni hao ma; ni hao ma; zaijien! (How are you; how are you; how are you; goodbye!)
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
Their food is guaranteed to please,
A fourteen, a seven, a nine, and lychees.
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
I like their tiny little trees,
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin, and yang-ese.
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees…
These days I sometimes do a cod version of My WAy. Good for a laugh, though aparrently a bit risky in Manila
And now, the end is near…and so we face the final curtain
You’ve said it loud, youve said it clear
You’ve made the grade, You’re graduatin’
To think, you did all that
And may I say, NAT in a shy way
That more, much more than this
You did it my way…
For whats a man, what has he got
He’s got himself, then who he’s taught
to hear the things he really feels
and not in words that are unreal
The record shows
You took the prose
AND SAID IT MYYYYYYYYY…WAYYYYYYYYY
Do you have time to ask the kids what they want to say? They will remember them much more easily if they write them. Does each kid have to read a page out? That’s pretty crazy.
Maybe give them some sentence starters like:
I like this school because
My favorite class is
My favorite teacher is
I feel xxx to be going to a new school
thank you to xxx yyy
At the end they can choose to say, I will come back and visit/I will write to you all/I will remember you, that kind of thing, and mix it up between students.
If you have any kids that like to sing, let them choose a song instead.
Dear parents, teachers and principal
Thank you for bla bla bla
We will treasure all you have taught us and miss our kindergarten days.
Soon we will be in elementary school. It’s a new challenge and we hope to make the best of it.
We will bla bla bla
Again thank you for bla bla bla
A big bow and game over.
Hope this helps
PS For some obscure reason the more irrelevant movements they make, the more impressed the parents are. Work some arm swinging, etc into it.
Do you have time to ask the kids what they want to say? They will remember them much more easily if they write them. Does each kid have to read a page out? That’s pretty crazy.
Maybe give them some sentence starters like:
I like this school because
My favorite class is
My favorite teacher is
I feel xxx to be going to a new school
thank you to xxx yyy
At the end they can choose to say, I will come back and visit/I will write to you all/I will remember you, that kind of thing, and mix it up between students.
If you have any kids that like to sing, let them choose a song instead.[/quote]
Its speeches for the kids. Sorry, didn’t read it properly. 
Not much experience with kids, but In that case the above sounds a good plan.
I assume you can interpret “page” as a fairly small page with very big writing, otherwise you’ll need some recitation-stylee padding with nursery rhymes or whatever.
Alternatively, could you get away with some mass song/dance thing, with them individually coming forward and delivering “thankyou for” one-liners while the “chorus” stands and waves/leg-swings/two-steps in the background?
I want to dedicate this diploma to my mom, dad, teachers, and Jesus. I know the next 12 years of my education will seek to suck the creative life out of me and I look forward to the tests I will have. As a young child, I still believe adults care about me. I will soon learn nobody is calling their elected leaders to reform a flawed educational model. Thank you for your attention.
Hi, monkeycat. I’d go for asiababy’s and heimuoshu’s ideas if I were you:
[quote=“asiababy”]Do you have time to ask the kids what they want to say? They will remember them much more easily if they write them. Does each kid have to read a page out? That’s pretty crazy.
Maybe give them some sentence starters like:
I like this school because
My favorite class is
My favorite teacher is
I feel xxx to be going to a new school
thank you to xxx yyy
At the end they can choose to say, I will come back and visit/I will write to you all/I will remember you, that kind of thing, and mix it up between students.
If you have any kids that like to sing, let them choose a song instead.[/quote]
[quote=“heimuoshu”]Dear parents, teachers and principal
Thank you for bla bla bla
We will treasure all you have taught us and miss our kindergarten days.
Soon we will be in elementary school. It’s a new challenge and we hope to make the best of it.
We will bla bla bla
Again thank you for bla bla bla
A big bow and game over.
Hope this helps
PS For some obscure reason the more irrelevant movements they make, the more impressed the parents are. Work some arm swinging, etc into it.[/quote]
I don’t teach kindy, but my cram school has a graduation ceremony at the end of the first six levels. Warning: There’s somewhat of an advertising flavor to our speeches, and after six levels, the kids are pretty good at memorizing big chunks of text, so I’m not sure the following applies to your situation. But I’ll just throw the basic pattern in for good measure:
[color=#000080]Greet everyone and say, “My name is ________.” Name the class or classes that they were in, including the teacher’s name. Say something complimentary about the teacher (e. g., how patient she / he / they have been). Mention some skill(s) that was / were acquired (e. g., listening, speaking, reading, writing). Say they enjoyed learning English at ____________ School. Optional: mention specific games, activities, outings, etc. (don’t have to go into too much detail). Favorably mention any new features / improvements in the building or equipment of the school (if any). If they’re going to continue at the school, say they’re looking forward to it. Say thank you.[/color]
Still, I’d say your best bet lies in what asiababy and heimuoshu wrote.
Thanks for the help…please keep your suggestions coming…some of your suggestions are funny but they don’t help a whole lot…oh what the hell keep those coming too…you would not believe how serious this school is about this stuff.
OK then.Perhaps something like The Intro and the Outro? You’d be the MC/Viv Stanshal geezer, introducing individual kids. (This isn’t the original but that’s on youtube too)
You’re going to need KAZOOS…LOTS of Kazoos.
The world today seems absolutely crackers,
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There’s fools and idiots sitting on the trigger.
It’s depressing and it’s senseless, and that’s why…
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees,
Yet they’re always friendly, and they’re ready to please.
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
There’s nine hundred million of them in the world today.
You’d better learn to like them; that’s what I say.
…[/quote]
etc…see above.
That is actually what I was thinking of when I said it “could have been worse” (than The Ying Tong Song).
I think I considered it for a second, but fortunately, I didn’t think I could remember the words.
Just make sure you don’t get it mixed up with the Che lesson.
One real piece of real advice:
Make it have a rhythm or beat to it. Not necessarily a song, but it’s easier to remember.
Would also be awesome to include Nantucket.
My wife once asked me about writing a kindergarten graduation speech. I wrote this for her. She didn’t use it.
[quote]Mothers, fathers, colleagues, friends, and students,
We stand here in the twilight of a great time. For more than 200 years, we have lived the greatest moments of all human history. Every man and woman has been born knowing that their life would be better than their parents. Not just could be better, but would be better. There would be more money, more rights, more goodness. Literacy has brought words into every mind. Capitalism has filled our wallets and our homes. Democracy has given us the power to shape our destiny.
But all that has ended. The poets among us say that it ended with the New Millennium on September 11, 2001. This is Sophistry. The roots of our darkness were sown decades ago in the greed and selfishness began even in the 1960’s: The Manson Family and the Weathermen, Michael Milken and his billion dollar bonus, a World Bank and Free Trade disguised as prosperity for all but really a source of protection for the rich.
It is twilight now and soon all around us will be darkness. But I ask you, have you ever stood alone in the wilderness without even a single candle and looked about you? Even in the nightfall, there is so much to see. In the blackness of the darkest night, there are a thousand points of brightness that light up the sky. There is never a time without light, without hope.
I look across this world, across this country - Taiwan - across this room and I see 31 different points of light. I see Steve and I see Mary. I see Robert, Virginia, and Amy. And I know that with their brightness, their talent, the gift that each of their lives has brought to everyone around them; I know there will be hope in the future.[/quote]
[quote=“ScottSommers”]My wife once asked me about writing a kindergarten graduation speech. I wrote this for her. She didn’t use it.
[quote]Mothers, fathers, colleagues, friends, and students,
We stand here in the twilight of a great time. For more than 200 years, we have lived the greatest moments of all human history. Every man and woman has been born knowing that their life would be better than their parents. Not just could be better, but would be better. There would be more money, more rights, more goodness. Literacy has brought words into every mind. Capitalism has filled our wallets and our homes. Democracy has given us the power to shape our destiny.
But all that has ended. The poets among us say that it ended with the New Millennium on September 11, 2001. This is Sophistry. The roots of our darkness were sown decades ago in the greed and selfishness began even in the 1960’s: The Manson Family and the Weathermen, Michael Milken and his billion dollar bonus, a World Bank and Free Trade disguised as prosperity for all but really a source of protection for the rich.
It is twilight now and soon all around us will be darkness. But I ask you, have you ever stood alone in the wilderness without even a single candle and looked about you? Even in the nightfall, there is so much to see. In the blackness of the darkest night, there are a thousand points of brightness that light up the sky. There is never a time without light, without hope.
I look across this world, across this country - Taiwan - across this room and I see 31 different points of light. I see Steve and I see Mary. I see Robert, Virginia, and Amy. And I know that with their brightness, their talent, the gift that each of their lives has brought to everyone around them; I know there will be hope in the future.[/quote][/quote]
Well done. 
:bravo:
You only graduate from University not school! Sounds ridiculous.