I married in Taiwan back in December 2010 and because of abuse that continuously got worse and his cheating, I left him back in May 2021. I’ve been in contact with him on and off the past (almost) 2 years and he keeps giving me the run arounds. He is a master manipulator and narcissist so discussing divorce has been difficult. He had me sign over my property to him in china because he said legally we couldn’t get divorced until I signed them back over to him. Haven’t heard back from him since December of 2022. Last thing he said was i needed to go back to Taiwan to file for divorce or he could come back to the US and get registered with me in the US and then be able to divorce here in the states. (I’m only married to him in Taiwan, we never came back to the states and registered or anything) Therefore he thinks it will be quicker and easier if we registered in the states and then go through 2 separate divorces right here in the US (Taiwanese divorce and US divorce) Which I honestly don’t trust and it doesn’t sound easier at all!
Has anyone gone through something like this before? Is there any helpful advice that can lead me in the right direction to getting a divorce? I don’t have time or money to go back to Taiwan to get this divorce and I don’t feel safe going back knowing he is there. I just want to move on with my life without the fact I am married overseas to a man I am no longer with hold me down ….
Very sorry to hear you are going through this.
The signing over sounds weird. In Taiwan you can get divorced easily by simply going to the household registration office and signing the papers. The papers include some language along the lines of “we confirm that we don’t have any open property or other disputes”.
So: as long as you both agree, you don’t need any signing over of anything.
Surely divorcing in Taiwan is easier than anything else. To register the marriage in the US, you likely need to prepare lots of documents. Then get divorced. Then prepare lots of documents again to get the divorce registered in Taiwan.
Compare this to 30min and a couple of USD in fees for the divorce in Taiwan… (OK, plus travelling to Taiwan).
Yeah, he’s a manipulator though. Been that way for all 13 years I was with him….just I didn’t realize it until a couple years after we married. His family is crazy too. They all approved of him getting a second wife while I was married to him as long as he gave them grandkids. We never had kids which is a good thing. I am honestly too afraid to go back without someone to go with me, but there is no one that can go with me. I currently just don’t have the money for a round trip flight ticket and I can’t afford to take time off from work. I know how quick it is to divorce in Taiwan but I fear what him and his family might do with me there, especially if I am alone. They got connections to the government, they are military retirees. I mean I could be thinking too deeply into it but with the things he did to me I am just too afraid to go back. That’s why I am trying to find a way to get the divorce done while I stay in America. To be honest I’m not even sure if he could have gone through with the divorce through court or not….I know his parents have got to be pressuring him to get it done…. I already signed over property to him that I had in China. He had kept on saying his lawyer said divorce cannot be done until after they were signed over to him. I honestly believe he just wanted the property back and used the whole “No property =no divorce”
I don’t know…. I haven’t seen him for almost 2 years now and whenever I talk to the guy he just makes me feel more and more confused and upset.
I’ve already emailed the household registration office too and told them about the situation. Which I didn’t even think to do till now, just to see if he tried filing or not and to see where to go from here.
I guess what he meant was that he was not signing anything without getting his cut. I am sorry he swindled this property from you.
I wished you had better legal counsel. Your husband has lied to you and keeps on lying.
For starters, especially with good connections, he can get divorced from you easily, both legally and illegally. That now he wants to use you for a green card or whatever scheme he may have, that’s another story.
Do not set foot in Taiwan. Do not remarry him in the US. Just switch phone numbers, erase your digital internet identities and pretend those 13 years never happened.
Yes, you can try email. Better yet, try calling if your Chinese is ok but be careful of whatever information you provide. The authorities are not on your side. On a good day, you get different information depending on who you ask. On a bad day… Anyways, they are on the Taiwanese side.
A women’s rights organization in Taiwan or other NGO would provide better assistance.
You are not thinking too much. Problem is rather you do not have enough information to protect yourself. Stop listening to the lies he tells and get adequate truthful information.
Get a lawyer.
They are the professionals in these legal matters. They’ll give you the clarity to, at the very least, complete the legal side of this struggle. They will save you from prolonged years of inconclusive answers on online forums. And they’ll likely save you years of extended pain on your side.
I had to learn this the hard way when my ex got a lawyer on her side, and, well, things didn’t go well for me without one.
Of course, you could find some organizations to handle this (as mentioned above), but it was such a pain, and in my opinion, if you can find the money, a lawyer is the easier option.
My ex’s lawyer cost her NTD60K to handle her case to change the divorce agreement from shared custody to sole custody on her side. She hardly even needed to make an appearance at the courthouse. The lawyer just did it all.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. You need someone on your side, and besides emotional support from friends and family, you’ll need someone to stick up for you in court.
This is not a bad idea assuming you have nothing to lose (property, here or there, children, here or there). You are already married. If you register your marriage, you gain the possibility of getting legally divorced in the US. That legal divorce will stand later in Taiwan if either he or you register it there.
Honestly that is not something I am willing to do. Plus if you think about it. That calls for more paperwork and a lot more time because divorce in America is not that simple compared to Taiwan. He is also a very tricky guy. I don’t want to take the chances of registering here in the US with him and then he decides he want control back over me and refuses to divorce. I have had emails with him the past almost 2 years where he seriously thinks I will run back to him. I am free from him here in the US at least…I don’t want to lose that. I will find a way to divorce the man without having to return. I’ve heard from some people he could even divorce me easily by saying I abandoned him. That’s why I emailed the household registration office, to find out if I am still married to him there or not. If I am I will just find a lawyer to represent me in Taiwan to help me out.
Yes if you leave the marriage and home he can claim you abandoned him. Not such a bad thing as he would get the divorce and get nothing more from you. You could also file for divorce using the same reasoning that you left Taiwan and no longer want to remain married.
Doesn’t the US automatically recognise overseas marriages?
You won’t need to register your marriage in the US. You could just file for divorce in the US. When it gets finalised, you can use the US documents translated to Chinese to have the household registration office update the registry with your divorce.
Downside is that most staff at the HHRO likely haven’t done it before so that will try to kick you out the door and may not help. But this is just me speculating.
It’s basically the same process as registering and overseas marriage at the HHRO.
Actually judging by this TECO should be able
to update the registry for you
2.Those divorced abroad
(1)The party concerned must apply for registration at any household registration office.
(2)Applicants who are unable to apply in person may appoint a representative by power of attorney (translated into Chinese and notarized by the ROC embassy/consulate/representative office); that person with power of attorney must be approved by jurisdictional household registration office.
(3)Where the applicant is not able to apply in person, he/she may appoint a an agent by power of attorney (power of attorney established abroad must be translated into Chinese and notarized by ROC embassy/ consulate /representative office).
(4)Applicants may request in person for ROC embassy/consulate/ representative office to forward their marriage registration application and required documents to the appropriate household registration office in Taiwan.
2.Those have divorced abroad:
(1)The party concerned applies to the ROC household registration office
A.The household certificate of the party with household registration in Taiwan, ROC identification card and seal (or signature).
B.Identification certificate of the foreign spouse.
C.Divorce certificate with Chinese translation and certified (verified) by R.O.C. foreign missions. (For divorce under the law of the place, such divorce certificate should affixed the juridical act conforms to the formal requisites under the law of the place).
(2)If theparty concerned apply abroad through the ROC embassy /consulate/representative office
A.Divorce document with Chinese translation.
B.Declaration form for divorce.
That’s the thing. He can divorce her here anytime. He already got property out of this. His holding out for a divorce and asking to remarry in the US means he wants to squeeze something out of @Amanda .
Enough is enough.
@Amanda , aside from him pestering your mailbox, is there anything in your new life in the US that needs you to stay in contact with this guy? Will your marriage here in Taiwan prevent you from getting married in the US? Is there anything that affects YOU by still being married to this man?
Marriage in any one country means you are married in the whole world. You cannot re-marry in another country without breaking the law, unless that country allows you to have multiple wives (or husbands).
So even though Amanda’s marriage may not be registered in the US, she is still a married woman, in the US, even if the authorities may not realize it.
Taiwan is in an unfortunate grey area situation when it comes to that kind of paperwork…
While yeah, it is not ideal and certainly legally questionable, if the Taiwanese spouse did it, why can’t she? Just ignore the guy, live on.
Never heard of Bigamy Icon?
As in this girl’s spouse?
Or is she going to join a polygamy sect?
That’s the thing, he has already mentioned he will sue if I get married again while still married to him. I don’t want to risk getting in trouble. That is why I want to make sure I am divorced from him before I take the next step such as getting remarried. I’m currently in a relationship and although I don’t plan on rushing to get remarried, in a few years we may want to get married. I don’t plan on returning to Taiwan. I truthfully don’t feel safe returning because one) he is crazy and two) his family has connections to the government. Plus I don’t have the time and money. It costs a little over $1000 for me to fly there and back. I also will not register with him in the US because like I mentioned, he is crazy. All this time there has been moments he made it sound like I will break and run back to him. I won’t. Who knows, he may get registered with me here then refuse to divorce. I got freedom here…. I don’t want to lose that. My marriage may not be recognized here in the states but he still can legally sue me if I remarry without finalizing my divorce to him.
I mean I could just not get remarried and continue living life with my partner. Being considered husband and wife, but it isn’t recognized by the US. I don’t know……
I’m pretty sure his parents are urging him to divorce me. Considering they are desperate for grandchildren and would want him to remarry asap, but I’m not sure….
He has already threatened me by saying he resigned from his job so he can travel to the US at any time and that I better not get remarried otherwise he will sue me…I really don’t want to risk that. He honestly can’t do anything more than that. I emailed the household registration office a couple days ago and hopefully they are able to give me an answer. I basically gave them our names in Chinese and asked if they can check to see if he filed for divorce or not. If he has and it was approved, that means I can truly move on but if he hasn’t I need to try and file from my end. This all just seems like him playing a power card with me. “As long as we are married, you can’t move on” kind.
He’s sick in the head. And although I shouldn’t let it get to me, it really infuriates me.
All I can do is wait for a response and get some answers so I know what I need to do next
Best talk to a divorce attorney
Your marriage IS recognised in the states.
The US has no fault divorce. If you want a divorce get a divorce. Nothing is stopping you. See above. File for divorce in whatever state you’re in. Translate it, submit it to TECO, done.
Exact requirements for divorce vary by state in the US but all states have a no fault option and some have a ‘we’ve been separated for x amount of time’ option.
Do you have any proofs of his cheating? you said it happened profusely, so you could leverage that against him to get what you want.
Also, I’m curious as for who paid the property in China that was on your name. Did you buy it with your money, did he but he put it on your name, or you too paid for it?