Shouldn’t that have been written in past tense? 
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Honestly, even if you should be able to finally „convince“ her to be in a relationship with you (which sounds a bit unlikely to me at this point), you’ll probably always keep wondering if you‘re just a „backup plan“ for her and if she’s truly as invested into the relationship as you are if it started like that.
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This thread won’t be that long if tomorrow u just ask her directly or partially directly if she is interested in you
Since you two already have spent time together and u already think she is giving mixed signals , just being direct is good. Atleast u will get your answer that way.
Taiwanese girls likes to keep guys hanging trust me. U don’t wanna be in that trap.
You got her number at a coffee shop, then spent one day together and got along well, and you’re trying to push it to a romantic relationship already? Did you try to kiss her or something?
It’s possible she just thinks you’re moving too fast, with the assumption that you’re doing this to a lot of girls. Or she’s just really shy. In both cases just needing more time to warm up to you.
Or she’s just not into you, in which case you shouldn’t get hung up on her, just let it go and move on. I feel that if you really need to ask a girl whether she’s into you, then do you really need to ask? You already know the answer.
Either way you’re overthinking this way too much.
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Too fast? He spent NINE HOURS with her. That’s a damn long time to spend with a person you literally just met.
And it’s certainly long enough for each of them to know if they’re interested in going further.
Sure, perhaps not “romantic” with feelings, but after one whole day together she has 100% decided whether you’re in the friend zone, fuck zone, romance zone or never to speak to you again.
To @FatKaz - Looking at the obvious - she told you she doesn’t want a boyfriend, and she already told you up-front that she isn’t free on the evening. That’s two not-very-subtle hints right there. If you don’t help with her essay, will she still want to hang out? As general advice, doing those sorts of favors does not make women sexually interested in you. If she can get hours of your time and labor with a few flutters of her eyelashes, it says that you are pretty low worth and she can likely do better. You should always refuse those sorts of requests (tell her your English sucks, or something), or better yet, ask her to pay for the service…
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Yeah she may have an idea which “zone” he’s going in but that doesn’t mean she wants him making moves on her on the first date or trying to force the romance.
Nine hours all in one go doesn’t count for much. It’s just one meeting. When you go home and reflect on it, and then meet up a second or third time, your impression of each other can change quite a bit. It happened to me a lot where I liked a girl after the first date but then completely changed my mind after the second or third.
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True as far as I’m concerned
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Damn hold on you saw a girl at a cafe that was cute and you made an approach with the aim of what?
You genuinely just like to help girls at cafes with homework stress ?
No? Then don’t appear that way
What are you hoping with this girl ? That should set
the tone of your approach and continuing action
If you are looking for a one night stand be a wolf in wolfs clothing don’t try to con them with the let me help you with the homework move
That’s a long grind to turn into a romantic endeavor
If you are looking for a girlfriend you should approach and then not offer homework help ask her all about herself make it plain you are interested in her and if she is forthcoming with all the answers and asks a lot about you keep going
Ask her is she is single and looking for a boyfriend
And if she says no how about you? You say No you are not looking for a Boyfriend either
The point is to be obvious
This sly way of trying to get her out with a pretense of homework help is not effective and leads to mixed
Signals
If I meet a girl in a cafe she is going to know I’m interested in her . I am not looking to help her with homework
Most girls are smart enough to pick up on that
And if she brushes you off go look elsewhere
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Nine hours in one go is ample time for her to find reasons not to take it further or in this case make it plutonic with an English language assistant.
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:Well you don’t have a lot going on with cafe chick so far
If she tells you she has a boyfriend it’s usually a good sign to fish elsewhere
Funny thing is that a lot of serious relationships start with a shag
And many that don’t never lead there
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There is an evolutionary reason for that too.
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When you ask out a Western woman, they know it’s a “date” and that you are implying potential interest. Taiwanese and Chinese women, on the other hand, don’t go on “dates” with someone they just met. You need to hang out with them a few times first (ideally with one other friend, or as a group), then become friends if you have enough in common, then start inviting them to hang out with your friend group outside of formal class/work-related meetups, and then eventually you can express interest in them.
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I have a lot of personal experience to the contrary. In Taiwan those girls have all been from Tinder, so far, in China (and Thailand) I had just met them in a variety of ways. As with Western girls, sometimes there is a longer period of getting to know you at the beginning, sometimes it is shorter, sometimes it leads nowhere.
What you say may be very true in your experience, but I’m fairly certain the wider world is not so cut and dried…
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If you’re meeting them on Tinder then they’re already cutting to the chase, but as a general rule, most Taiwanese women take it slow. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule to everything in life.
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All those Chinese women, though…
If they wanna F you they will F you.
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Its also not always true. I had Taiwanese girls like you say in Taiwan, but come visit me in Japan or other places I was working and things move fast, telling they are coming and stay in my place. In Taiwan they live with their parents and mostly much more conservative, the same girl.
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Taiwanese girls ? There are slow cookers who take ages to get anywhere and there are microwave fast girls too
Do you have to work at it ? Yes you do
Smooth operators are out there
Case in point
Ex GF and her probably equally hot bff are in line at a wine tasting event in Taipei
Gringo behind them chats them up about the event all innocent stuff
They get into the event soon after and talking head wanders off but soon comes back with a bottle of wine to share with the ladies
She ends up going home with him to check out his apt but claims nothing happened
Ok right tommy believes that and tooth fairies ride unicorns
But it’s an ex
So what did our boy do right to score ?
He cases the group about to get into the event
Gets in line right behind the girls
He is in position to observe them and listen to their convo for clues as to if they were alone their character etc
Correctly picks the outgoing one aka my ex
And chats the girls up but careful to favor my ex in conversation
He is totally innocent made no moves but this way he establishes himself with her and breaks the ice innocently without appearing to be a pervert
He lets the girls get in and leaves them alone for a short while again this reinforces his innocence and he’s not latching onto them the second he started taking to her
So the girls don’t think anything about it
Then he smoothly comes over with a bottle
To share and discuss the merits
If that particular wine
This then allows a chance to learn more about the girls and make himself attractive
To the ex
Less than two hours later she is at his apartment having ditched the wing girl
I would say this was a successful sortie
And I’m pretty sure he scored
She just left that part out when telling me about it later
Forgetting I know her
Haha
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Someone’s collecting Tommy’s posts for a book, right?
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