Summer of Love!
I met her at burger night. It was a typical Monday night at On Tap in Taipei in 2012. Our weekly meeting with friends to talk about our highs and lows of the weekend with 199NT burger, beer, and salad specials. It was the first time she had waited on us, I noticed her smile and would joke to people when they asked how met that “She gave me a burger and I gave her my heart”. After seeing each other several times at burger night, she took my Facebook information and invited out for ice cream during Dragon Boat Festival. We went on four dates in the span of a few weeks, she stayed the night after the fourth date and never left 
We were young and in love. I was 25 and new to Taiwan while she was 19, a sophomore in college and new to city life. Our first summer together was the best of my life.
Life Moves Fast!
After several years of living together, I asked her to marry me. I took her to the place we first kissed and gave her a ring that has been passed down my family since my grandmother’s uncle first purchased it 100 years earlier. She said yes and we were engaged for 3 years before getting married. We took a trip to New York and stayed at the Edison hotel, this where she told me she wanted to be a mom. She was only 23, I was 30. I told her if she really wanted a child of course I would give her one. 9 months later our first son Edison was born. We few years later, we were blessed with another son, named Tommy. During this time, I made sure to work my full-time job, work after school programs, and tutor on weekends to make sure the family had everything we needed. She was able to stay in a post post-partum hotel for 30 days after both boys were born, never had to worry about finances, but always felt like she was missing out on travelling and building a career.
After our second son was born, she wanted to move to her home island of Penghu to be closer to her family so they could help raise the children. Penghu is much slower than Taipei and a much better place to raise a young family. I left my high paying job and our nice apartment, packed us up, and we were off to Penghu.
The Move to Her Home Island-One Person’s Paradise is Another Person’s Prison
The move was hard for me. To go from the hustle and bustle of Taipei to live one a small off coast island was tough, but worth it to see the mother of my children get the support from her family she needed. I did turn a corner quickly however, I began to appreciate the low pollution levels, the lack of traffic and busy streets and sidewalks and subway rides full of people. While my job paid much less, expenses are less, and the wife decided to put our second born in daycare at 5 months and she started work for the department of marine education. We have been here over 4 years now, and I have grown to love the island. I like my condo, the boys love their small school and being close to their grandparents, and we really enjoy the relaxed vibe of island life. The wife on the other hand, was beginning to get restless and wanted a change.
A trip to Kazakstan, Thailand, and Korea-The Beginning of the End
After years without a proper vacation on her own, she took the summer of 2024 to travel to several countries and watch her sister play in ping pong tournaments (her sister is a national player). I was happy that she got to travel and get a break from me and the kids, the break turned out to be the beginning of the end. When she returned from her travels, she was very cold towards me and the children. She would tell me to go away, had lost her cheerful demeanor, didn’t pay much attention to the children, and was simply not herself. After about a week of this behavior I sat her down and asked her what was wrong. She cried, she said she is not living the life she wants to live. She told me that Penghu felt like a prison, while her friends spent their 20s travelling and building careers she was wasting her younger years. She told me she wanted her freedom. She told me she wanted a divorce 
I told her she was depressed, to take time to get her head right, reminded her she was only 30 and in a few years the boys would both be in grade school and then we can travel the world together. She replied with “divorce”. After 4 months of this, I told her if she wanted to leave, she is free to do so, as long as I get custody of the children. She moved out in December, left the boys with me, and we signed papers in February.
Bittersweet-Acceptance, Healing, and Moving On
The hardest part was acceptance. Accepting that someone you loved no longer wanted you in their life, accepting I had somehow failed, and accepting that I would be raising my children without their mother. Luckily, it was a smooth transition. I’ve always spent more time with the boys and her family has always helped so her being gone was not a big difference. They will see her a few times a week until she leaves Penghu to go find herself. Now that papers are signed, custody and child support are settled, and I have the support from friends and her family living on the island, healing is the next step. I look back on our time together and either smile, cry or get angry. I need to be happy that it happened rather than sad that it ended. On the bright side I have my boys, I have my nice apartment, I have a new car, I like my job, I have a support group, and after 12.5 years I am single again! Once I feel I am healed, I will put myself out there and try to move on.
For anyone who read my post, I just want you to know that you deserve to be happy. I want you to know that while life doesn’t always work out the way we planned, everything does happen for a reason and it is our responsibility to keep moving forward, adapt to life changes, to find happiness in little things each day, and to have the strength to moving forward with a positive mindset. Wish myself, my children, and their mother the best of luck. I hope we all can be happy and keep moving forward.
Marrying someone who then leaves you, dies their hair purple, and wants to undergo a Taiwan Studies Program or Gender Studies program. And then marries a Kid Castle language specialist.