FOMO is a real problem in relationships these days.
My girl and I suspect her best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her because of us.
After we went on a few double dates he suddenly breaks up with her after 2 years. We think it’s because he was doing relatively well for Italian standards in a small town with a good job. My girls best friend is her age but still in school and the type that doesn’t care about money and is going to school to be a researcher in biology to help people. She’s been going to school forever now changing degrees figuring out what to do.
After going on dates with us with us going to nice restaurants and paying for them and seeing us traveling and working on a business together I think he felt like he was missing out because he is the type that is motivated by money. He just couldn’t go anywhere with her because she didn’t have money as a student.
Now I see him going out to dinner and traveling more all of the sudden.
I would venture that this is likely the bigger issue at hand in their relationship. She isn’t settled and he wants to do more, but with somebody. Might be a great personality match, but just bad timing/life gaps.
There’s a lengthy thread on here about my relationship and divorce on here.
There were some similarities in what I experienced.
I was in therapy due to the emotional abuse in the marriage for long after the separation.
I’m glad your in a better place now, going through the acceptance phase, processing the loss of the relationship and that someone close to you no longer wants to be with you is hard and takes time.
It’s hard when you don’t have clear closure on why the other person left the relationship. I had similar bouts of anger and crying in the first few months of separation.
Communication between me and my ex is not good, there are many ongoing issues and disagreements which doesn’t help things.
After almost 3 years since initial separation I finally felt good enough to start putting myself out there though definitely still building back confidence. It’s early days but so far it’s been super draining. On dating apps it feels like most people ignore me (if they read my profile that I have kids) or run once they find out (if they didn’t read my profile).
So sorry for you and the boys. Hope their mom keeps in touch with them. Life throws some unexpected turns thats for sure. Many people grow into a different person when going from their 20s to their 30s.
I am in a somewhat similar situ, but not as trying as yours. Since you have kids. My wife i met when she was in her 20s. Now in her 30s she wants out of our marriage and life together. I am torn but ultimately think everyone deserves to be “free” and to be happy.
Its not at all easy as you know for sure. Good you also realize you deserve to be happy too . God bless .
Divorce isn’t going to make her happy. And you’re in CA? Man, I hope things are able to turn around for your sake. Divorces in CA absolutely gut the men there.
i know i am dreading that. meantime she moved out and we get along as well as we can. I am waiting for her to find another guy to marry so i can be let down softly with easy terms.
Dang, i shoulda listened to myself and NEVER married again which i said to myself after my first marriage in taiwan (but i got away lightly on that one).
if i had a son of marriage age i would say "son, dont do it !!! " just stay friends, and try not to live together either.. Keep your shit and her shit apart The real heart breaker are kids though. They are the ones you really have to concentrate on and make sure they get through it well rounded and keep them loving both parents.
I just have cats and although they miss their mommy they are happy when she visits but also pretty chill when she aint here, nothing like i imaging kids would be
but hey this is not my story, lets congratulate OP on his good mental attitude and wish him continuing success with his boys and i hope he and they retain a good “working” relationship with the ex. And may he in time (should he wish) find a better gal to be in his life.
I am only mentioning a bit about me to say that OP is not alone. LOVE hurts and sometimes LIFE Is FUCKED UP>
beautiful love story he had though i must say, better than most. Hollywood love story material set in taiwan.
yes thats how it often goes. Life throws some shit at you sometimes and its a bitch at times. We are all flying on a wing and a prayer really. Enjoy today as yesterday no matter how good or bad is over and tomorrow is unknown. Theres a lot of truth in that saying. Embrace the moment and enjoy it as much as you can.
LIke me, today im a gonna drive to Mt diablo and enjoy the TT cuz wifey is away visiting nyc with her buds using miles for flights so its a fairly cheap run . good for her.
Normally i only get to see the TT when i ask her to bring it over on sundays so I can give it a quick wash and check the oil and tire pressure . Otherwise she wont maintain it at all .
Funny how it usually is “out of gas” too on sundays. but oh well.
My best friend’s wife (fwiw, not Taiwanese or in Taiwan) left him and took the kids about a month after his Dad died because he wasn’t getting over it quick enough. I couldn’t believe it. I always thought she sucked though… extremely fake person, bit of a narcissist.
Some people are monstrous when it comes to selfish interest. Thise children, if they manage to overcome whatever brainwashing she is about to put them through, will thoroughly resent her for what she did.
I look back and I think I did too much in our union
She didn’t have to do much at all
And I think that leads to no investment in a relationship
A healthy relationship definitely needs both to play an active role
I didn’t give my ladies an active role and they got bored
Pampered
And bored to tears
Maybe they felt they were not really needed
Anyway each person is their own puzzle
We were just not a good match
Don’t blame
Yourself
Blame them
lol
Coz they fcuked up ….clearly
I just think life is a stage and we all play roles
Best not to lose yourself completely in your role or else it’s hard to come back when the shit hits the fan as it often does
Motto : hold
Steady hold on to being YOU and let the shit roll off like water off a duck
The real heart breaker are kids though. They are the ones you really have to concentrate on and make sure they get through it well rounded and keep them loving both parents.
