Funniest thing I’ve read in a long time because it’s so relatable 
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Why didn’t you just give them your American address and SSN? Why do foreigners always have to make things more complicated? \s 
Practically speaking, not much harm should arise for giving a “wrong” address there for a country you’re not a tax resident in. What will (or could at some time future - not sure how far Taiwan is in implementing those international data exchange protocols) happen is that the bank might send your account balance to the appropriate tax authorities once per year, so those can use it to discover tax fraud.
If you’re clearly not a tax resident of your home country, not much should come out of these reports.
When I opened my bank account, I just gave in and gave them my German tax id and “German address” (not sure if I used my last address or my parent’s address). They were happy and I could proceed without further discussion.
Still, quite an annoyance that the CSRs do not seem to receive any training or guidance in which cases these numbers and addresses are actually required or not. Seems to be easier just to treat every foreigner as an American and just require this information - even for foreigners who are not tax residents of their home country anymore (and who then testify that towards the bank by leaving the appropriate fields blank). All that’s missing is actually a checkbox “I am not a tax resident of any other country than Taiwan” 
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The second part of the tragedy:
After my faustian pact did not come to pass, I thought I could use the time to apply for an U.S. Greencard, move to Washington, rent a place, work there for a bit, get a U.S. TIN and come back with the necessary information to get things going over here. According to my calculations, there was even enough time for a trip to the east coast.
“No!”, I said to myself, “They would count that as a win. You’re a German. We’ve basically invented bureaucracy, know almost everything and most importantly: we know better!”
I did what every normal human being would do and went online to search for information that supports my arguments. There I found that Germany has a tax ID and that said number should be on my last pay slips. Good thing I got them scanned and saved them in my phone!
The next issue was the address. I quickly looked up some interesting locations. FC Bayern München’s Stadium? The Chancellor’s office? The Cathedral of cologne? I went for the European Central Bank.
“Miss?”
I looked up from my phone. My Clerk had been sent back by the council in order to relay their decision to me.
“You need to write your TIN and address on this form”
“I was expecting something like that.”
“It’s the law”
“I thought it’s a form?”
“No, it’s the law.”, She insisted.
I was genuinely surprised. If this form was in fact the law, then I would get to write it! Maybe I could outlaw stinky tofu and polo shirts tucked into the trousers. I went on to squeeze as much of the necessary legeslation in one of the empty fields as possible. I managed to get to “tofu”, when the Eye of Sauron spotted something it was displeased with.
“I’m sorry Miss (She clearly wasn’t), but you put the checkmark into the wrong box.”
I checked my checkmark. It was where I left it: In the box next to ‘Person is only a taxpaying resident of the Republic of China.’
“But I am only a taxpaying resident of the Republic of China.”
“This is just for residents. You need to check the box next to ‘Not opening a new account. Person is not only a taxpaying resident of the Republic of China’. The last one.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“I, who is only paying taxes here, in Taiwan and nowhere else, should really write that I pay taxes Somewhere else?”
“Yes.”
“Where else do I pay taxes?”
“I don’t know. That is something you have to know.”
I was stunned. Did she really just said that? I was wondering if I could catch her in a logic loop, but my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of metal shutters bein lowered. I looked around. I was the only customer left. The security guard was preparing to go home and an elderly man had started wiping the chairs with some disinfectant. I had already spent the whole afternoon on this.
“You need to check the third box.” she insisted and gave me a new form. “You need to write your TIN and address.”
I wrote ‘58008’ and as much fours as I could fit into the fields for my TIN and proceed to write down the ECB’s address. The elderly man had begun to rid the counters of any germs and viruses.
“Don’t forget to check the third box”, came her voice through a cloud of ethanol.
“Yeah… I know…”, I replied weekly. My eyes began to water as they too were getting disinfected. I smeared the last few letters on what I assumed was the form. I handed it over an in return got a new bankcard.
As soon as I put everything back into my bag I was complimented out by the clerk. She had been victorious and she made no effort to hide it.
I went to a near café to rest my tired feet. As I was sipping on my coffe, my phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hello, I’m with the Taishin Bank. You just were here and changed your ARC number, right?”
"Yes "
“Yeah, I just went over your FATCA form and it seems like you checked the wrong box. But that’s no problem since you’re not American. I can change the checkmark for you, if it’s ok with you?”
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Guy
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new ID number complete disaster for me as well. I’m so frustrated over this entire ordeal. I needed to go to 5 different places to update everything…
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So the ominous checkbox actually exists! It’s just reserved for Taiwanese citizens in the eyes of some clerks…
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I think it was there when I opened bank accounts at CTBC, Mega Bank, and Standard Chartered last year. I recall one or two of the clerks briefly asking me for the number, but they didn’t seem very fussed when I told them I was only resident here and didn’t need to complete any numbers in that section. So I guess experiences vary. 
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This needs to go to Classic Posts; it’s up there with the Chinese New Year experience
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can you go to any CTBC branch to update your ID card number? or does it have to be the same one you opened your account under?
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CTBC was the only bank I didn’t need to go to update my info, they received the info from NIA and just informed me via SMS that my personal information had been updated.
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Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
What a great read! It made my morning happier!
I’m sorry that you had to suffer this misadventure so we could enjoy your saga, but thank you for sharing in such unique perspective.
“The Eye of Sauron” got me dirty looks from my co-workers for laughing out loud, but it was worthy!
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A masterpiece. You should write a weekly column.
Wish me luck as my turn is coming up this month to renew my ARC. 
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Looking forward to your rant!
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that’s odd…I was told I had to update or no salary. I was told I don’t need to update my NHI card…
If you were told to update, then go ahead and update to get your paycheck. CTBC is not my salary account, I have savings, securities and credit card with them but I wasn’t required to go.
I went to NHI to update my info but they said it wasn’t required and sent me back home.
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so you are using your old card with your old id?
because that’s what I plan on doing.
Haha. They tell you that and it is wrong!
I also had to go a second time back in march, because I was given wrong information at first.
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Yes, I am still using the old ID NHI card.
I have used my NHI almost every day since 8/14 when my 2nd daughter was born. I saw the doctor, went into the hospital everyday, got Rapidtest and PCR test using this card. Last week I just included my 2nd daughter in my NHI payments all without issues.
My employer was actually the one who helped me put my newborn under my NHI and they had no issues using my old ID number NHI.
It will work until your employer changes the NHI contributions to the new ID number.
If you choose to, you can probably let your employer still pay labor and NHI contributions to the old ID. I don’t know if this will cause any problems.