Your Taiwanese husband will ALWAYS choose his mother over you. Better get used it it.
台灣男人都是媽寶!! Generally speaking of course.
2 Likes
Wife v Mother in Law, that’s a whole new equation.
If you let your MiL die you wife would constantly hold it over you, so you save the mother in law, it stops the wife moaning.
1 Like
Proliority, for first born son, is extremely high to both mother and father. One of his primary jobs in life is to take care of his mom and dad and make them secure and happy. Even to the point that he has to take care of his mom and dad and his wife has to understand. Second son and others not so much. But first born son will make sure the other sons are right in there.
A Taiwanese wife and her family members would recognize this.
If some other crazy stuff going on then well…
In Taiwan every family is different.
2 Likes
The untold secret is, many a wife deep down loath their mom 
just has to look natural and tick all the boxes my mom is just as bad, but she is on the other side of the planet, so she is much more tolerable. A wife, on the other hand, should bring a person joy most of the time…if not, why be married?
Culturally, it’s the mother as top priority.
Every family is different though; my family is all sorts of screwed up. Nobody except my cousin has visited my grandma and have reneged on providing support in recent years (my aunt has even stolen an entire house from her), and my mom is kind of a Karen that I’d honestly de-prioritize; it’s a long story of why I’ve even bothered to come to Taiwan, but what my aunt did should be a hint.
1 Like
Yeah talking about and actually taking care of elderly parents and relatives are two very different things .
1 Like
This is the most f… up thing about the culture here. It’s parents decision to have children and bring a new INDEPENDENT human being to this world so children owe parents NOTHING and parents should give children EVERYTHING and expect nothing in return.
The way it works here it’s almost like you have kids out of your own selfishness so you can grind them to become doctors/lawyers etc and later have a private sponsor/caregiver/slave…
Then you also end up with 40 year old guys still emotionally attached to their mothers and going to doctor with them to explain what’s that weird thing on my son’s 雞雞… (real case I heard from a friend doctor)
5 Likes
considering how spoiled some of these kids are, I can’t really blame them. When I pass the local high school - and remember, these kids shouldn’t be legally driving at all - I see a ton of expensive yellow and red plates. I dated a girl who is now working towards an M.A. in Service Design at the Royal College of Art in London for the low low price of 35,000 GBP. And I’m sure she’s paying even more for all the expensive food and nice lodgings she has.
She’s living it up in college, and almost certainly at her parents expense, so it kinda makes sense that they might want her as a little personal servant and exert pressure. I don’t really blame them, as the dynamic I often see is kids exploiting the parents in exchange for going with their wishes. It all sucks, but it all is what it is.
You seem to do a lot for your mom for being a Karen! But I guess being an elderly person in a wheelchair you kind of have to.
Hard to disagree with reality. +1
Taiwan is going to have hard times in 20-50 years. No joke! Especially if automation and the necessary welfare state doesn’t catch up. WALL-E is probably best case, but not likely it will go so smoothly.t
1 Like
The only problem with that is, girls traditionally marry out and into the husband’s family. So she becomes her husband’s family servant (if he’s the oldest). So within the context of this thread her husband and his parents come first, then her and her own family.
2 Likes
Traditionally, sure. I’m not confident she’ll be holding herself to that, though 
The main problem is the population inversion whereby 4 grandparents and 2 parents could have just one grand kid to support them.
Its okay when the grandparents have lots of cash and asset but if they don’t…things start to get dicier.
Stop equating ludicrous anecdotes with the norm.
1 Like
Completely incorrect take that has no bearing on reality.
So what’s your take then? I am coming from manufacturing and the serious labor issues involved.
To note: the labor issues aren’t quantity related, they are quality related. This specific and precise issue has been snowballing since I moved here. It is a real issue. Unless what I previously mentioned resolves the human workforce problem
Alternatively, we can keep accepting fake inflation based on middle men greed and go that route. Even more laughable when the government accepts it and has zero fucks towards dsocial assistance (aka welfare, safety nets, or whatever term one needs to use to justify it).When your McDonald’s costs 400nt don’t say it wasn’t obvious early 2000s 
people like TL are already confused and complaining about food costs and price lol. Imagine 10 years later, fuck me!
Like I’ve said here, I’m just making sure my aunt and uncles don’t defraud my mom (and by extension, me) when it comes to inheritance, and I’m just here to get my national ID and taking the next plane back to the US; my mom has voluntarily written a notice that she doesn’t even need my financial assistance, but I’m doing what I can because well, she’s still family.
Although my grandma has dementia and is fairly easygoing in terms of personality, if I had $1 USD (some days even $1 TWD) for every single thing my mom did that got under my skin, I’d at the very least be able to afford to move out on my own to the Zhudong District of Hsinchu.
So you aren’t in It for the money yourself ;).Hard work waiting for people to die.
Sadly Most people don’t understand what marriage is:disappointed:
marriage blends two different cultures together and no two marriages are the same the success will depend on how the husband and wife cooperate because it’s a bond between the husband and the wife. The husband chose the wife just as his dad chose his mom the husband should know that his wife left her parents for him and made him her priority and he should be willing to do same or else there will be problems and this is why there is increase rate in divorce things have changed and people are no longer bound to live a stereotypical life style, will a man accept his wife to prioritize her parents over him if so then he can make his own parents his priority if not then he has to know when and how to set boundaries and know the role of a mother and a wife. The mother gave birth to him and took care of him untill he is matured enough to be a man and raise his own family, sticking to your mom like a child when you are supposed to be a grown up ass man and take care of your own business your own way and be able to handle challenges will be terrible for the husband and this is why most men die alone with no one to take care of them mother will always love you but will leave you to yourself and at this time your future will be with your wife and kids so if a man wants his wife to care for him and love him as a mother and lover let him make the efforts of making his wife a priority because sadly most traditions have caused more divorces than helping to keep marriages. In other for the man to find peace of mind in his life let him respect his parents but prioritize his wife because interference from parents and family members will only cause you trouble and problems in your marriage. People who say culture warrants the husbands to take care of their parents what about the wives? she also has parents that gave birth to her and raised her but she left them to be with her husband so why can’t the husband do same mutual respect and understanding is needed in every marriage for it to work, parents can only interfere with you and your wife’s decisions if you ask for their help or advice if not they should stay clear and you be the man of your home and raise your family the right way as a man and not as a child. The fact that something has been there for a thousand years doesn’t make it the right thing any tradition that doesn’t bring peace, love, unity and longevity in your marriage is not worth it.
Wow. Nice first post Doctor Love. @StarLush
I truly hope and pray that you’re not in Taiwan teaching English to our youth.
3 Likes