Sex is a drug, and the FWB guy is going through withdrawal…which can cause discomfort and wild mood swings.
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No such thing as friends with benefits with guys. Either you are strictly friends, strictly benefits, or you’re dating/a couple.
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A sexual partner stopping the sex and wanting to keep the relationship is unrealistic
If sex was what was keeping them together
The one wanting to stop the benefits in the FWB most likely was not into the benefits but went along to get the friendship and now they want only the friendship it is not realistic to expect compliance and agreement from the other party who may have offered the friendship for the sex
If I wanted the steak but had to eat the salad because that was the condition and now I’m only offered the salad without the steak I’m going to another restaurant
And not happy about it
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The school of thought is to treat the pursued as if she is already your girlfriend. Never say things like “I’d like to move us to a committed relationship” which is something very few Taiwanese would say anyway, they’d more likely to say things more similar to dialogues from Japanese animes, such as “will you be my girlfriend?” or something like that.
The most you should do is to just say “hey, I like you” and let the girl ask you “are we in a relationship?” when she feels like it is necessary to ask.
I am not a subscriber of this school of thought. I was already in a committed relationship when this became popular, so I did the stupid anime thing.
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Did you get down on one knee when you proposed?
Yes. I even did it in Japan.
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When I did the anime thing and asked if I could be her boyfriend, she said no. Then I technically just treated if she is already my girlfriend. So… maybe I’m a subscriber of that school…
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No to being your girlfriend and yes to the marriage proposal…so confusing.
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What happened here, is someone entered restaurant on another side and paid tip infront to get well done steak fast.
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Perhaps getting my cat to jump through hoops signified to her that I’m marriage material after all.
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An example of a video talking about how not committing verbally can get you to a committed relationship. There must be hundreds of such videos on youtube.
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I see its related to the weird 告白culture here.
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…No? That sounds like pretty shitty behaviour.
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Maybe it is what it is 
people like that exists
I agree
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Men are famously uncomplicated, and I really feel sorry for young people trying to form relationships these days.
Anyway, as someone just pointed out, your ‘fwbphobia’ is a good lesson learned. It’s just a pity someone who’s been there and done that didn’t warn you earlier how this works.
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There’s no such thing as “FWB”; however casual you think it is, if you’re having sex with someone that you consider a friend (even if it’s a bit one-sided) that means you’re a couple. You have feelings for each other, and when one person wants to end it, the other person’s feelings get hurt. There are a dozen different ways they can react to that, but it seems like the two of you had very different expectations here.
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There’s no such thing as “let’s just be friends”. Yes, sometimes after a breakup the wounds heal, and a couple finds that they can communicate as friends. But usually not; and when it happens, it happens by itself, not because you want it to. Far better just to tell someone honestly that it’s not working for you and you need to move on with your life. And then move on. Don’t cling on to the fragments of a broken relationship.
If you’re in a position where you can’t have a long-term relationship - maybe you intend to leave Taiwan on a certain date? - at least be upfront with partners about that. It will make things a lot easier when it has to end. It might be short and intense and you’ll have some nice memories. Or you may surprise yourselves and try to find some way to make it last.
If you don’t like someone that much, don’t have sex with them in the first place. It does neither them or you any good. You don’t need to be a prude about it, but have some standards.
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Someone should frame this and hang it on a wall.
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Disagree, it does both parties good for 2 minutes at least. Or at most, depending on the guy.
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It’s good for us
