My life becomes unbearable with my wife

I have been married for 4 years, our relation was up and down, we had beautiful days and we had the most terrbile ones, I am a family person who fights to maintain a relationship, we had a baby because I needed this kind of affection in my life, I appreciate his presence in my life, the issue is that my wife becomes too cold to me, I feel like she doesn’t want me in her life anymore, I work as crazy to provide them a good life and let her just take care of tje baby, our relation just got worse and worse, I talked to her but nothing changed.

I feel I am about to ask for a divorce.

Is there anyone please had this kind of experience with his wife? why mixed marriage with Asian always fail like that

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Sorry to hear about your troubles, but to be fair not all mixed relationships with Asians fail. I’ve had plenty of friends who are still happy after many years

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Do you want to work it out if possible? Or do you want to get divorced?

how old is the baby?
post-partum thing?
married life is seldom a walk in the park.

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A baby can be a lot of stress and a strain on the relationship. Where you could go and enjoy yourselves, go out, travel, be care free, now there are a lot of sacrifices for the child.
Everyone underestimates how much work a kid makes (let alone two or more).

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I was married once. 18 happy years … then I met her :wink:

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Sorry to hear that.

I don’t think this has anything to do with mixed marriage, but with marriage in general. People who stay happily married together for decades are really lucky. Chances are you pick someone who is not going to be the right one for you forever.

Children often exacerbate existing problems, cause they add a lot of stress and responsibility and limit the free time parents have. If there is an imbalance (even if only perceived by one party) in the commitment to taking care of the child, this can become very toxic for a relationship. I dunno, some mothers might just lose interest in their husbands once the baby takes center stage.

Maybe you could try to offer more in terms of taking care of your child, besides providing for your family financially?

:thinking:

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A marriage takes effort to maintain, but a cross-cultural marriage may take a little more.

I will go out on a limb and say as well, some aspects of the culture here can result in mothers placing a relatively high level of attention on children compared to spouses, compared to other cultures. That can manifest in a range of ways, and it may be jarring or even unacceptable to some from different cultures.

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sounds unbalanced

Agreed, but she may find it unbalanced as well. “Just” taking care of a baby is no walk in the park. Well sometimes it is, but you know what I mean :wink:

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It was meant to mean unbalanced going both ways. Taking care of small children is tiring as fuck, mentally and physically.

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Yes, I understand. I replied to your post, but I meant to address OP.

I would imagine it would be hard for the baby to walk in the park

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This website is peppered with hundreds of similar stories. Have a good read. There’s plenty of information and advice stored within this site. Good luck.

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Often I find a relationship where one is enabled never works. possible, but rare from what I see. She can work. you can bothcare for the kids. it will be hard back tracking on this as I assume she has gotten used to certain comforts. not much I would suggest.

but if starting a new relationship, make sure the woman works and puts in her time. Men too, obviously. shared, not given. Any person that expects otherwise shouldnt be breeding.

What about her? Did she want baby?

From my observations Taiwanese ladies and frankly most of modern women are not into babies. Generous desire is not there.
They married to secure the future, to please in-laws or own parents. Cause are old enough.
We both wanted to have kids, but my wish was much stronger. I realized wife is lost with baby, so I jumped in and took over maternity leave. I was primary parent for very long. But with third baby she becomes primary parent again. It was her wish

Most Taiwanese girls are spoiled, used of easy life with high Taiwanese standard of convenience. They mature at older age, have never done physical work in life or been around babies before, value their career above all. And have first child at older age. So it’s a big shock for them to have a baby.

Like always be ready to walk away. Marriage is work of two. If she doesn’t want, she doesn’t want. Give her half a year.

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My wife went batshit for a while as a housewife. I was making enough to cover for the both of us and we decided she should stay home and kick it. We don’t have kids so she went bonkers doing nothing but house stuff. Now that she’s back working, she’s happy as. Could be your wife is that trained from kindy to work(study) without break except New Year holiday. Kick her out the door to work and find some way to have care for your kid while you both work.

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Mine hasn’t. Going on 25 years. :idunno:

You’re going to lose sympathy here I think writing stuff like that. I’m sorry about your troubles, but that kind of marginalization seems unfair, even to a PITA Taiwanese wife.

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Here’s some great advice to working out your relationship issues.

1.2 million subscribers can’t be wrong!

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Why do you assume that’s the case?

Try counseling, try to reflect on what you do wrong and also try to talk her reason into her. If all fails, talk to her about how to avoid hurting your kid when separating.

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