My stunning girlfriend

here is my question, and please don’t berate me for being dumb. i am a canadian who has only been here for 3 months. i came over to teach with my canadian girlfriend (read:not taiwanese.)
she just happens to be extremely beautiful ( i understand my bias, but i know that she is a very beautiful girl.) in fact i would go so far as to say that she is the most beautiful foreign girl i have seen in taipei.
so herein lies my issue (well, more hers than mine, i am just typing about it to try and find some solutions) this is a legitimate problem that really gets to her on an almost daily basis. here is her problem.

wherever we go in taipei, whether it is on the train or the bus, or at 101, or at the bar… girls stare. they stare and then they whisper at eachother, then they laugh a little, then they stare some more. they do nothing to really hide their staring at her. i interpret this to mean that they think she is beautiful, and they are looking at her like “wow, that is a beautiful foreign girl.” She believes they are looking for flaws, that they are looking at her in a negative way, that they are judging her. this is very very upsetting to her, so much so that she has cried, and often says she would like to verbally lash out at these whispering women. does anyone have any insight into why the taiwanese women do this to her, and perhaps better, how we should handle this appropriate. this may sound like a minor deal to you or i, but i assure you it is very stressful to her. to any foreign women have any advice i could pass along? any insight would be great…thanks a lot.

This may seem direct, but, does she have big breasts? If so, that’s proabbyl what they’re pointing at and whispering “oh my god look at the size of those nei neis”. It’s a novelty.

Otherwise, you’re probably right and they are saying “wow look at that beautiful foreign girl”.


Picture please. Want to see if I agree with your assessment

It’s just something that us beautiful people have to put up with.

Maybe it’s not about breasts. Maybe she has pretty blond hair that they’re intrigued by or some other attribute that they find interesting. It sounds like simple jealousy. . . or curiousity. She should learn to accept it. We all get stared at and talked about behind our backs here. Attacking them will solve nothing, just as attacking red-light runners and other rude bastards will solve nothing. It will continue as long as she stays in Taiwan.

Are they ONLY looking at her, or are they looking at her, then glancing at you, then looking at her again and then laughing?

That could make a big difference.

There is no point in confronting them. It won’t solve the problem, rather create more.
Just make her think they compliment her on her good looks.

Taiwanese often look at foreigners and talk behind their backs (happens to nearly everyone, not only good looking women), but it doesn’t have to be negative. Takes a bit getting used to, but then who cares what other’s think (about the two of you) …

Can you hear the comments the girls make?

Tell your girlfriend that the proper cultural response is for her to first dump a big bucket of water over herself, with an emphasis on the chest area. Secondly, she should then dump a big bucket of water over the offending xiaojies, again with an emphasis on the chest area. Next, your girlfriend should violently pull at the hair and clothing of the offending xiaojies in an effort to remove the water-soaked clothing from their persons. The xiaojies will respond in kind and pull at the clothing and hair of your girlfriend. The xiaojies will likely emit a high-pitched squeal during this exchange at which time your girlfriend should then begin to emit a lower-pitched moan to counteract the tone from the xioajies. Finally, when this is occurring, you should immediately post your exact whereabouts on Forumosa so we can all come and watch.

I know it sounds strange, but that

since my pinyin sucks major ***, im gonna give it my best shot:

Shei Shei yer nei neis!! :smiling_imp: :bravo:

You obviously haven’t seen BritishVick walking around. :wink:

You obviously haven’t seen BritishVick walking around. :wink:[/quote]

Perhaps because she is in Tainan, not Taipei.

[quote=“aprimo”]Are they ONLY looking at her, or are they looking at her, then glancing at you, then looking at her again and then laughing?

That could make a big difference.[/quote]
:laughing: :bravo: :laughing: :bravo: :laughing: :bravo: :laughing:

Ignore them. It may take some time though to be able to that, so be patient. It took me 6 months and I don’t consider myself being beautiful… :unamused:


Being quite stunning myself :astonished: , I know what your girlfriend is going through. The xioajies are bitchy and they want her foreign boyfriend, and it’s not going to change until the xiaojies get some foreign meat of their own. They are insanely jealous and intimidated and they almost wish they were white aswell. Standing there being beautiful, whether it be in the department store, or the subway, or in the McDonalds, your girlfriend, being especially beautiful, automatically makes them appear less beautiful, and because this reduces their chances of finding a husband for the whole of maybe six or seven minutes, these feelings manifest themselves in overwhelming hostility and frustration. That’s the go.

It may just be my imagination but the feeling I get is that if you can really ignore them they actually won’t talk about you as much. Either that or it just seems like they don’t talk about you as much. I wouldn’t know for sure because I ignore them.

I’m perplexed.

I would think that anyone truly stunning would have a certain abundant amount of self-confidence that being truly stunning usually results in.

If your girl really is distressed by people staring, pointing and giggling, she ought to return the same.

Either that, or take bob’s sound advice.

There’s truth here. I used to get really upset with everyone looking at me. Sure enough, when I stopped looking at them, the problem went away! :wink:

What a lucky gal you have…Sounds like you have her happiness at heart. good for you. Tell her, that it’s not her detracting beauty that’s getting stares, but sometimes it’s just that she’s a forienger and that’s a part of the program living here in Asia. If she feels that they are “talking about her flaws,etc” she may wanna examine why she has that perception. Could it be old high school, college stuff coming up? We all have them, but gotta love them inspite of everything and what everyone thinks of them. Try to get her to see what you see, and be patient with her. If she knows that she has a space that accepts her no matter who she is, then she’ll learn the ignore that voice that tells her otherwise.