I met my “first love” when I was 18. We dated off and on for the next few years. We feel out of touch for a few years then started talking on the phone and she even came out to Taiwan to see if we could make it work again, it didn’t work out. But we are still close.
She was the most perfect girl I’ve ever met. And dating her really destroyed my love life. Since no girl even came close to comparing with her. She is a Doctor/Ballerina/Model with the body of a stripper…and that’s hard to compete with. So those feelings that you get…when you really really like a girl (butterflies in the stomach…etc), I never feel them anymore. I go from girlfriend to girlfriend…with no feelings of love. Just feelings of a nice friend who I sometimes have sex with…I say sometimes because without the intense attraction…there isn’t a huge sex drive either.
So I haven’t felt any intensity in the last 12 years except for when I’ve been with my ex…until now.
I went on a blind date with a girl. And it might not have been “love at first sight”, but it was pretty damn close. We had our date on Sunday. It’s Wednesday now and we’ve already discussed moving in together. I have butterflies in my stomach…and my emotions are bouncing from laughter to near tears every few minutes.
This love stuff is scary as hell. And since she lives about 4 hours away by train :help: . I know that my emotions are only going to get crazier. She is going to spend every weekend at my house. Since she lives with her family I can’t stay with her. But this coming weekend she works on the Sunday…and there is no way in hell I’m going to wait an extra week to see her. So I’ll be borrowing money (I’m broke) and driving down to get a hotel near her house. My last girlfriend lived 15 minutes away from my house and I never went to see her…because I was too lazy. For this new girl I’d ride a bicycle if I had to.
Man oh man, I hope my stomach settles down soon. Time has slowed down since I met her as well…every day is dragging on. Just counting the minutes until the weekend. I’m already considering selling my “big bike” since it’s mainly a solo bike. And I ride it on the weekends…and that’s “her” time.
Sorry, I’m babbling. I just never thought I’d feel “head over heels” passion again in my life. And I’m feeling it now…and it’s scary. Ok…think I’m going to go throw-up now…isn’t infatuation grand?