Being an old person over the years I have heard many stories about friends’ and acquaintances’ family issues. Most stories focus on parents’ relationship with their children. I find most stories in Taiwan fascinating as my own experience growing up was so very much different…but that is usually because my family did not have much money. If you have enough money to support children for life then more power to you.
Here I share a few of the more interesting that I have heard.
Case 1: Perpetual sponsorship
A couple has one son, Bobby. As he was growing up his mother helped him with his schoolwork. Father says was more like Bobby’s mother was doing his homework for him. This continued from grade school onto college….with the mother even calling Bobby everyday from overseas while she was on business trips to help with schoolwork. When Bobby attended overnight school trips the parent accompanied him as they would worry about him. After Bobby graduated, the father helped him find a job at a furniture store doing sales. Bobby’s biggest customer was his father who replaced all of their home’s furniture as well as their relatives’ furniture. Job lasted about a year at which point Bobby just started staying at home during the day to play video games. Bobby uses his father’s credit card to buy three meals a day using Food Panda. Now thirty years old Bobby asked his father how long they would support him. Father replied that their money was Bobby’s money. Bobby is on his way this week to Japan for vacation…with NT$100,000 in pocket given to him by father. When asked by friends their thinking of this situation the parents’ reply was that “this is good as then no need for him to go out everyday which is troublesome.”
Case 2 The boys and the girlfriend
Jack and Billy, ages 32 and 30, are two sons living at home with their parents. When Jack was 17 he brought his girlfriend home with him and announced that his girlfriend would be living with them as she had some family trouble with her mother. The girlfriend was 19 years old.
Since the boys were small children the mother every morning asked the boys what they wanted to eat for lunch and dinner. She cleaned their room, washed their clothes, etc. never requesting any help. Every morning she would go to their room begging them to get up and go to school…going into their room three or four times every morning. She visited her blind mother every morning about an hour away and worked in the afternoon….but made time to go home to cook their preferred lunch and dinner at night. I told her she could allow the sons to handle their own lunch…even if meant going to 7/11. She claimed that was too dangerous (even when they were in high school). I told her she could buy an alarm clock to let the sons learn to get up by themselves….that lasted about a week and she went back to begging them again to get up. Her reasoning was that as long as she had the ability to do something for them she would do so…no need for them to worry about doing something.
I asked the father how long he would support the boys financially. He said until they do their military service. The boys then obtained doctor’s note saying the boys were ill and could not do military service. The sons finally found part time work and the mother continues to support them financially. The father’s business suffered financial difficulty then the father became very ill with major operation to save his life. He even planned to skip a second needed operation as did not have enough money. A friend lent money to him…basically saving his life.
Meanwhile, the two boys and the girlfriend do not save any money from their jobs. They spend all their money on skiing trips to Japan. The three of them once planned to move out of the house but changed their mind when saw they needed to spend their money on basic items like bedding. So now the three have no plans to move out. Three meals a day provided. Rooms cleaned by father every way. Clothes washed every day.
Case 3 Living the good life
Jack and Molly’s mother is separated from her husband who could not tolerate his wife’s methods of raising Jack and Molly. Whatever the two kids requested the mother delivered….especially with regards to personal items like music equipment, clothes, etc. always buying the most expensive. The boy started trying to skip school so mother would call him from work every morning several times begging him to get out of bed. The boy started college but did not finish. Unconfirmed rumor is that the son was kicked out of military service as he was so uncooperative the officer in charge of him basically requested to release him from service requirement.
The son decided he wanted to live abroad. Mother supported him financially to live overseas. After a few years the son decided to become an architect so applied to a school overseas. Mother arranged a company doing business with her to help her son with a project to serve as his application to school. He was accepted. While in school the same company helped Jack with his homework every year. After graduation he found an internship position overseas. Mother continued supporting him financially. Jack flew around world to attend friends’ wedding and events. When mother retired from work the son returned from overseas.
