Partners having affairs - a common practice among Taiwanese?

Here’s a question for the community. Based on what you’ve seen and heard, is it a common practice among Taiwanese for partners to have affairs, and to view this lightly?

Asking for a friend. Any thoughts or feedback would be appreciated.

Guy

To be fair, I find it more common that marriages aren’t based on love rather than loving marriages are cheating often. Probably more allowance for genital stimuli outsode the relationship compared to a household of true love that cheats. In those situations I judge less the “cheating” and moreso the sham marriage based on whatever shaky foundations claimed for legitimacy.

Subjective, for sure. But my experiences here are overwhelmingly leaning heavy on the no love Co tracts compared to the actual love ones. Does seem to be changing generational, and I view the higher divorce rate as a positive. Not a negative, for this reason. Hopefully it will continue to evolve past this and into a marriage based on actual love, not social pressure or short term tingles.

Edit. Sadly cheating does seem to be taken too lightly (on my opinion). But I think this is more due to just accepting the sad truth of the relationship and then maintaining face.

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Thanks for taking time to reply. I appreciate it.

Guy

Yes seems very common in Taiwan if you pay attention to some subtle or not so subtle signs in offices, coffeeshops, or even out hiking.
View it lightly? Depends.

Happens everywhere all the time.

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Happens all the time because people are getting into marriages based on physical appearances as the priority especially in asian countries where beauty standards are taken too seriously. So if you chose your partner because of physical beauty, your desire for it doesnt end just to your partner.

An interesting take, one that seems directly in contrast to what Explant wrote above—where the “no love” arrangements (which I also take to be “no attraction”) were more likely to lead to affairs . . .

It’s possible, btw, that you may both be right, and that affairs abound in each of these situations. :slightly_frowning_face:

Guy

Such question cant have just one answer. Many different answers are possible

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Depends. I would say no but simple takes are always lacking at best and doubly so in Taiwan. I think it’s best to think of Taiwan as many subcultures living side by side instead of one monolithic culture.

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I appreciate all your takes here. Many thanks again for this.

Guy

Office affairs are really common from what I saw and sometimes they were an open secret and admitted in company.

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I think he means similar to my point. My point was simply more broad. But his mention of superficial relationships seems pretty on point too. My broader point includes superficial, but also face, family, society pressure etc. Aka, not marrying for love, but for other more superficial reasons (eg. Physical appearance, wealth, being told to, being afraid of judgment etc).

Edit. I think the root of the problem is far deeper. There is also a social acceptance for lies here that is quite extreme for some that were not raised with such morals. It was the biggest culture shock when I first moved here, how accepted lies were. This goes right into relationships, face and all the other dark sides people don’t really like admitting to publicly.

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I have somewhat relevant anecdotal evidence in that my wife has told me point blank that if I were to have an affair and she were to ask me, that I should lie.

(She didn’t like my response of, “Why would you ever ask then?” :laughing: )

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What if she produced point-blank (video) proof?

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I think it’s just an extension of unhappy marriages. I don’t know of any cheating couples but I know of many where it wouldn’t surprise me at all if they were.

It took me ageees to figure out that this is what was going on. This extends to non-marital relationships too.

Last weekend I said to my husband “You see your friends so often and all you guys do is lie to each other for a few hours”
He replied “That’s Taiwan things”

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Have you asked if he’s having an affair? :thinking:

(I keed! I keed! :sweat_smile: :innocent: :wink: )

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My two cents - dating culture as I experienced in the US valued finding a “spark” with your partner a lot more than it is valued in TW. Here, it definitely seems more like a contract or a tacit agreement. Having said that, I haven’t seen or heard of affairs when it comes to the younger people I know, which is a good trend…

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If you don’t do anything intimate with the other person, is it considered an affair?

What’s your boundaries/definition of “intimate”?