Passive-Aggressive in Chinese?

How do you say this?

Also, I’m still having a hard time understanding exactly what it means. Can anyone explain it using examples? Isn’t everyone passive-aggressive, though?

People, usually women, who pissily make their anger known through snidey comments and resistance rather than actually saying ‘no’, or saying they are angry. They expect other people to be mind-readers and know they will be angry, usually about trifles. I find it mind-blowingly irritating. Own it or STFU!

Dunno how to say it in zhongwen, though.

It also describes people who, instead of manifesting their aggression in an open way, instead engage in secretive behaviors like sabotage to get back at those who they feel wronged them.

So people who keep their anger inside are passive-aggressive?

People who say no when they mean yes are passive-aggressive?

No, not neccessarily. This kind of behaviour is not very open. Someone is angry because you took the biggest slice of cake. They don’t say ‘Hey, I wanted some cake too! Why can’t you share? That’s pretty selfish!’. They would say nothing to you, but then say next time in a fake whisper ‘Hmph, SOME people around here don’t think that they need to share the cake with everyone.’ People who are taught to avoid confrontation, and are not very assertive, yet still want to make their displeasure felt. It’s a way of controlling people and upsetting people without taking any responsibilty for your feelings.

It’s more honest and more healthy to say; ‘Yeah, I’m really pissed off because you ate all the cake. You shouldn’t do that!’ than to avoid talking about something that is difficult, but acting pissy when you don’t get your own way.

[quote=“Buttercup”]No, not neccessarily. This kind of behaviour is not very open. Someone is angry because you took the biggest slice of cake. They don’t say ‘Hey, I wanted some cake too! Why can’t you share? That’s pretty selfish!’. They would say nothing to you, but then say next time in a fake whisper ‘Hmph, SOME people around here don’t think that they need to share the cake with everyone.’ People who are taught to avoid confrontation, and are not very assertive, yet still want to make their displeasure felt. It’s a way of controlling people and upsetting people without taking any responsibilty for your feelings.

It’s more honest and more healthy to say; ‘Yeah, I’m really pissed off because you ate all the cake. You shouldn’t do that!’ than to avoid talking about something that is difficult, but acting pissy when you don’t get your own way.[/quote]
That is one of the best examples I have heard.

So essentially, people who make snide remarks after the fact. And they make that remark loud enough for others to hear but not saying it directly to the person who slighted them.

So in Chinese what would that be? Chris?

Well, it’s shitty, because it doesn’t give the cake-eater the chance to say ‘Oof, sorry, didn’t mean to be a piggy! I’ll order some more!’. It just means that both of you think the other’s a dick from now on, over something stupid.

Or somebody that didn’t make comments, but contrived to dis-invite the cake-eater from future gatherings, or commented on the size of the cake-eater’s ass, and so on.

I think the simplest way to describe it would by saying 非直接的攻擊 - fei1zhi2jie1degong1ji2 which more or less means an indirect attack. The dictionary definition of 被動性進攻 might get you some confused looks though since the term seems a bit contradictory in my opinion.

The following have been suggested to me:
消極攻擊的人格
消極的抵抗
消極的反抗
But I am informed that the listener might not know exactly what is meant by them; they are just suggested translations from English.

If they were, then we wouldn’t need a special term for it. :stuck_out_tongue:

[quote=“914”]So people who keep their anger inside are passive-aggressive?

People who say no when they mean yes are passive-aggressive?[/quote]

No, the key is not the anger, nor is it the suppression of anger. The key is the expression of that anger through indirect means, as Buttercup and Chris have explained:

Leaving the salt out of dinner, not watering hubby’s favorite plant, or not buying spare toilet paper when the household is running low could all be examples of passive aggression on the part of a housewife, for instance.

In my experience the word you are looking for in most Taiwanese offices is 正常 :discodance:

If you park your scooter too close to someone’s scooter or park your car in “their” public parking space and they key your car, that’s passive aggression. Leaving huge plants in the street to prevent people from parking is passive aggression.

Walking slowly 3 astride down a crowded sidewalk with your friends so no one can pass, poisoning someone’s cat because you hate your neighbor, driving your gravel truck uphill in the middle of the lane so no one can pass, etc.

“不坦白” is not a really close match but does get a lot of the main feeling across.

Wa! :doh:

very interesting series of articles available on wiki. I was trying to think of passive aggressive behaviour is harmful in the workplace (as I have witnessed) and I found out its termed “[wikipedia]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malicious_compliance[/wikipedia]

All the examples you guys give seem like “normal” behavior to me, as Noel put it. Everyone I know has passive-aggression in them then, some more than others, but everyone is passive-aggressive nonetheless. I haven’t encountered anyone who hasn’t shown any display of this behavior. There seem to be tons of you guys who are like this, too!

[quote]The following have been suggested to me:
消極攻擊的人格
消極的抵抗
消極的反抗[/quote]

I’ve never heard any of those above Chinese terms in Taiwan before. So maybe, in Taiwan, passive-aggressiveness is normal and accepted as someone having “da4 xiao3jie3 pi2qi4,” or throwing a temper tantrum? Or being weird? Or being a baby?

I’m trying to explain it to someone in Chinese but we’re not understanding each other.

Read up on wikipedia - the chinese definition is actually different :eh:

I have also tried explaining this to a chinese before and its only really important when you know the person well and can give examples of their behaviour or behaviour of mutual friends you have both witnessed (better in case you offend them), that you would find unacceptable, or P-A, they may say that western culture is different and that chinese do not confront a situation.

Dragonbabe says it’s not really a Taiwanese concept, so you’re not likely to have actually heard those terms; they are, rather, attempts at translating an unknown, foreign concept. That doesn’t necessarily mean passive-aggression is the norm or anything like that. (IMO)

I don’t think temper tantrums are passive. I think of ‘tantrum’ as a very overt and often loud, even violent display of anger. :2cents:

消極的攻擊性格 is good - I talked it over with the girlfriend and we came up with 敢怒不敢言 (gan3nu4bu4gan3yan2) which basically just means you’re pissed but you won’t actually come out and say it. It’s not quite right, though, as this phrase leaves out the part where you are passively carrying out your aggression, and apparently it’s more about being afraid of the person you are upset with, as opposed to a gf/bf who just doesn’t want to come out and directly express his/her anger.

Dragonbabe says it’s not really a Taiwanese concept, so you’re not likely to have actually heard those terms; they are, rather, attempts at translating an unknown, foreign concept. That doesn’t necessarily mean passive-aggression is the norm or anything like that. (IMO)

I don’t think temper tantrums are passive. I think of ‘tantrum’ as a very overt and often loud, even violent display of anger. :2cents:[/quote]

That’s interesting - with the whole “saving face” concept centering around not being direct, I would think this is a concept the Taiwanese should be very familiar with. The Boss wants you to double your workload? Agree to it with a smile, and then turn in some of the worst quality work you’ve ever done. :whistle:

Dragonbabe says it’s not really a Taiwanese concept, so you’re not likely to have actually heard those terms; they are, rather, attempts at translating an unknown, foreign concept. That doesn’t necessarily mean passive-aggression is the norm or anything like that. (IMO)

I don’t think temper tantrums are passive. I think of ‘tantrum’ as a very overt and often loud, even violent display of anger. :2cents:[/quote]

That’s interesting - with the whole “saving face” concept centering around not being direct, I would think this is a concept the Taiwanese should be very familiar with. The Boss wants you to double your workload? Agree to it with a smile, and then turn in some of the worst quality work you’ve ever done. :whistle:[/quote]

yes, hence the link i added above to “malicious compliance”. i wonder how much it costs business here?