Pedophilia is WRONG but Ephebophilia OK?

Ephebophilia: the sexual attraction of an adult toward an adolescent.

Pedophilia: the sexual attraction of an adult toward pre-pubescent children.

A couple of weeks ago, something strange happened. I met a friend through another friend and we started chit chatting, having a good time. This male person was outgoing, polite, social, a pleasant person. A bit odd but we all are at times. What I’m trying to say is during the first hour or so we were in the coffee shop I could not see him as an outcast.

We exchanged pleasantries then started talking about our travels. I mentioned I was in Taiwan for a while and he asked me about the ladies here. The questions and comments started off normal enough, then they got progressively stranger and by then the smile on his face wasn’t a haha-I’m-joking smile but more of a I’m-getting a hard-on-just-thinking-about-these-women-who-look-like-boys-and-girls:

I hear the women look younger than their age, is that right?
What’s the age of consent there?
I don’t think Angelina Jolie or [insert mature female actress] is hot at all. I prefer the Olsen twins, the girl that plays Hermione, etc…
I like my women young and fresh, once their looks catch up to their age I’m outta there…
I think tits and ass are overrated. I find really skinny Asian girls hot.

I honestly don’t know what possessed ANY man in his 30s to tell me something like this. I had just known him for a little over an hour. At first he was very normal, funny too. Once the conversation turned to Asia and he started asking questions about the girls and boys here, I got creeped out.

I said to him jokingly, “Holy, do you like kids or something? Pedophilia is serious business, man. You seem to talk an awful lot about children.”
He chuckled but went on to explain to me that pedophilia is illegal, he isn’t a pedophile, hell no. But he finds women who look like kids attractive, he’s drawn to them.
So I said, “Drawn to them? Like you want to be their friends? Like Michael Jackson?”
He said, “Yeah, like they look innocent and in high school, but I know they’re legal.”
Then he has that gleam in his eye and at this point I’m thinking oh boy…I’m out of here.

I came home and searched for pedophilia and read about ephebophilia. Even though having a sexual attraction to post-pubescents is ‘legal,’ I can’t wrap my head around it. This guy is only bound by the legal system. Kids lie about their ages all the time, I really wonder how the line is drawn between pedophilia and ephebophilia.

Discuss. Disgust.

Don’t diddle the kiddies. It’s simple. Paedo or ephhebo? All you’re talking about is the difference between a pervy creep on the right side of the law compared to a pervy creep on the wrong side. For me a pervy creep is a pervy creep and I don’t need any legal niceties to distunguish them.

Your friend needs to seek some help, before he jokes around to the kind of person that will put a foot up his ass.
:raspberry:

I sure hope that wasn’t a Freudian typo.

My 2 cents.
Every sane person knows where the line is. Every sane person knows what is morally correct or not. There are lines that should not be crossed, and those lines are not simply what the law decides.

Of course I’m happy if my wife looks young for her age (like 26 instead of 30), but obviously that’s a different thing altogether.

Right. Like you’d EVER catch me shagging Irishstu. I’m no perv. Anyway, he never has enough energy left after thechief’s been at him of a Saturday night.

the law draws a very clear line by defining an age of consent…but of course nothing is so black and white in real life; how can something go from wrong to right after someone is one day older? how do you make a call on something like schoolgirl fantasies for example…i’m guessing a whole load of men harbor secret schoolgirl fantasies…is it wrong to act it out with a consenting adult wearing a uniform? surely just another form of fetish just so long as eevryones very clear there is no crossover to real life…similarly some men prefer petite women and it could be argued this is due to ephebophilia (new word for the day)…but again so long as there is no actual crossover theres no real problem. human sexuality is a very complex beast but unfortunately due to the (deserved) recent focus on child abuse it is difficult to have open discussion on it.

that said yr “friend” does sound a bit creepy…if the only thing stopping him from committing paedophilia is the knowledge its against the law then yes he does have a problem…

Sexual maturity and emotional/intellectual maturiy don’t arrive at the same time. But it seems to me that Brittney Spears and “Oops, I did it again”, wearing a high school uniform, played into some pretty basic fantasies. Is there anything wrong with that, as long as people recognize them to be just fantasies? I mean, damn, I’ve seen some pretty hot eighteen year olds. I still remember a picture of a then eighteen year old model by the name of Paulina Porizkova, dancing in a night club with her arms over her head, with a t-shirt that read “too drunk to f*ck”. Now, at the time, I was probably only 15 or so, but I’m pretty sure that it wouldn’t have made it less sexy if I had known she was 17 or 16. I also wonder if that picture wouldn’t resonate much the same way with me now as it did for me then.

yes, we really need to see the above mentioned picture to discuss this issue further…any chance you could ahem link to it?

have a read of this article: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophile_activism …this is a bit of an eyeopener and highly contorversial to boot…

16 is cool in the UK. You’re allowed. But if you DO and you’re an old guy? Man youse a creepy perv, dude.

Hmmmm…don’t really know what to say here because I know plenty of guys who like their gals young and young looking. Quite a few wouldn’t bat an eye at dating a sexy 18 year old if they had the chance.

Quite a few Asian women have shocked me with their age, such as this one Filipina gal who was 26 but looked like she was 18. I still don’t believe her to this day but even her friends said she was indeed 26. And yes, she was very beautiful. The problem is (was) that I just couldn’t go out with her because of her apparent age, not her real age.

At any rate, let’s not get hippocritical in this thread. Very few men I know would say “no thanks, you look too young” to a beautiful, sexy Asian girl who’s coming on to them. The problem here is out in public, and the perception you might be dating a high school girl. That just wierds me out.

Well, I’ve had plenty of guys tell me that the main reason they came to Taiwan, was because they have a thing for younger looking Asian women. Plenty.

It sure isn’t for the air quality, spacious parks and motorsport.

18 isn’t pervy, I don’t think. That’s an adult, at least physically. Its been a pretty long time since I met an 18-year-old I could stand to talk to long enough to get her in the sack, though.

yes, we really need to see the above mentioned picture to discuss this issue further…any chance you could ahem link to it?

have a read of this article: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophile_activism …this is a bit of an eyeopener and highly contorversial to boot…[/quote]

I’m guessing he left that picture under his mattress back at the family home along with several sad tissues. Well either that or at the bottom of a hedge, that’s where all good porn used to end up.

HG (a former hedge scrounger)

Talk to them?? :doh: Damn! Why did I never think of that?

:wink:

Joking!

You nailed 'er… er, it, there Sandman.
If only I were shallow enough not to care whether or not I could talk to them… I could be a (different kind of) right bastard and enjoy mysel… er, them.

Good point, bear.

Ephebophilia is a sexual attraction to or even preference for real adolescents. You may sometimes see the term hebephilia used as a synonym. These are not the same thing as being attracted to young looking adults, which is totally normal.

Liking young looking Asian women, who happen to tend to be petite and have neotenous (childlike) features (e.g., the vertical facial proportions and low bridge of the nose) does not necessarily indicate a preference for real adolescents. Equating those who are attracted to or date a particular ethnic group with sexual perversion is to me an offensive assertion.

That doesn’t make him a pervert. It makes him an asshole.

Nothing weird here. Some like 'em thin, some like 'em meaty. So what? I agree, T&A are overrated.

Weird conversation, sure, but the part that worries me most is that he lacks any sense of commitment. Once their looks catch up to their age I’m outta there? What a jerk.

Amen.

I can totally see the hot factor of a sexy 18, 17, 16 year old with tits and ass, and who works it in lowrise jeans with a halter top sans bra. Growing up too fast, unfortunately.

It’s one thing to be going through puberty lusting after your friend’s older sister, the high school cheerleader types.

It’s another thing to be the cheerleader’s uncle and lust after her.

I know what many of you are saying, but the issue in the original post which worried me was this man liked the legal women who looked illegal and had the body of a child: no curves, no waist. He said this, believe it or not, “I like women who look like boys.” That got me thinking whether he was homosexual? But I didn’t want to mix up too many issues.

Yeah, but as long as he’s chasing the women and not the boys, what’s the problem? :laughing:

[quote=“Sweet Cheeks”]I can totally see the hot factor of a sexy 18, 17, 16 year old with tits and ass, and who works it in lowrise jeans with a halter top sans bra. Growing up too fast, unfortunately.

It’s one thing to be going through puberty lusting after your friend’s older sister, the high school cheerleader types.

It’s another thing to be the cheerleader’s uncle and lust after her.

I know what many of you are saying, but the issue in the original post which worried me was this man liked the legal women who looked illegal and had the body of a child: no curves, no waist. He said this, believe it or not, “I like women who look like boys.” That got me thinking whether he was homosexual? But I didn’t want to mix up too many issues.[/quote]

women who look like boys…yes thats a whole other kettle of fish methinks…lets hope he doesnt become a scout leader…

Yeah, but as long as he’s chasing the women and not the boys, what’s the problem? :laughing:[/quote]
er…what?