Saturday night musings…
What’s the best and/or worst pick-up line you have heard since you have been in Taiwan?
Give us all a little giggle then, be it naughty or nice (preferably both).
One guy said to me: “It is time to begin my sexual life.”
Why exactly he thought this would be an effective pick-up line, I don’t know.
“Can you get rid of your husband?”
I really, really enjoy cunnilingus… I wish I could find someone interested in receiving the same…
“Hey, are you Japanese?” - as used by a guy crashing at our place a couple of months ago on this girl that caught his eye at Roxy 99.
“Hello handsome American man.”
I don’t know if this was a pick-up line, or just strange English. For her sake, hopefully the latter of the two
My friend told me that he saw his dinner mate tell this young woman that he was Japanese. It was a home run.
Luxy -
Her: Excuse me, are you French?
Me: Wha…?
Her: You look French.
Me: What do the French look like?
Her: They look like artists. You look like an artist because you have long hair and a beard.
So I now have a head as smooth as a tennis ball, and shave more than twice a month
(Question for the Health Forum, maybe - Does anyone else have the problem of hair growing more on one side of the body than the other? I notice this with my face especially, but am becoming more paranoid about the nippular area. The Significant Other swears I’m being paranoid, as she gleefully and sadistically plucks the fuckin’ stuff! Jesus, Woman! What is your problem?)
Back on topic, I shit you not, this happened to me a while back…
Someone viewing me as a prospect, ACTUALLY USED A LINE FROM THE MOVIE NOTTING HILL.
We were sitting on a park bench, discussing the future after a night of hanky panky a few days prior, when she rose to her feet and said (probly aren’t xact wurdz)
“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”
I giggled at her, and that was the end of that.
I had a girl (37-year old woman) walk up to me in Top many years ago and say “I want to f@%k you” in English. After she said it the second time we left. With her guide dog.
You should bottle your pheromones, hexuan.
Global Village, not in Taipei, but in a smaller southern city. Two-hour evening adult class. A cutie who looks to be about 17 shows up and appears to have a bit of a crush on moi. I’m 27, and I’m charmed at the notion. She follows me into the elevator and down to the ground floor. Our conversation about the travails of learning English doesn’t seem to be trailing off, so we sit on a marble base at the front of the building and continue it. I’m still charmed by what seems an innocent crush. That Police song is echoing in my head. She turns it up a notch, making goo-goo eyes and imploring that she “really, really likes the way I teach.” I gently chide her about the hazards of crossing the boundary between student and teacher, that I’m much older than her, though very flattered (this will make quite the story to tell my folks back home!), until, flustered, she blurts out:
“What do I have to say to you to get you to take me home?”
Zoinks.
After putting it that way, not much. We carried on a short, torrid affair while one of the docile Taiwanese guys in the same evening class courted her in a more traditional fashion. I knew she would be trouble, which was confirmed one day when Mr. Docile handed me a sealed envelope addressed to me containing a suicide note from her. “She seems to like you quite a lot,” he said at the time, which probably meant, “You foreigners cause problems.” She later told me she’d swallowed a whole bottle of some kind of pills, though whether that was true or not I’ll never know (nor care, really). I read somewhere once that you should never sleep with anyone who has more problems than you do. I find that to be good advice.
You should bottle your pheromones, hexuan.[/quote]
Sadly the one and only time anything like this ever happened to me. 
I was 19, she was 37. That might have had a lot to do with it…! 
(I have to say though, she was as fit as a butcher’s dog!)
Three of the worst pick-up lines I have encountered
Xiaojie: I like Americans!
Xiaojie: Do you like Taiwanese girls?
Me: Yes, I think they are…
Xiaojie: How much money do you make?
Xiaojie: I like foreigners…do you also have a yacht and a cattle ranch back home?
This one always worked wonders,
“Excuse me, I’m lost”
To a Buddhist: “So, I understand you’re familiar with the Sutras. How’s about reading the Kama Sutra with me at my place?” (Overheard; I don’t remember the exact words.)
What are these things called pick up lines? Generally the girls just stare at me and get catatonic.
Me: “Hi.”
Xiaojie: “Uh…uh…eeep! eeep! (giggles) (runs away)”
yeah, I get that shit alot too.
A girl came up to me in a bar once and asked if I was looking for casual sex.
I gave her the wrong answer.
My most successful opening in Taiwan was “No, no, use your fingers. Here, let me help you.”
[quote=“stragbasher”]A girl came up to me in a bar once and asked if I was looking for casual sex.
I gave her the wrong answer.
[/quote]
Man, that’s like a riddle.
Fuck, which one’s the wrong answer
“Umm…yo”[/i]
I bet any of these would work.
“I used to like dogs, but now …”
“I’m a little shy. And now that Ironlady and Alien have left, I don’t know anyone anymore …”
“What do the characters on this tattoo mean?”
“Don’t they have truancy laws in Taiwan?”
“Oooo! You’re so big and so fluffy!”
“This is your chance to shag stragbasher”
“Want to Watch a Beheading?”