Places to meet older women

I feel like a loser for posting this because it will probably be seen as desperate, and might not get very many replies if you consider almost all the single western guys here seem to be 30-years-old or younger…please note I say “almost!” I know there are 40somethings out there just like me but…

As a guy who has been used to dating relatively young women, I find myself in my 40s and much harder to attract younger gals. Why younger gals you might ask? Why not go for women who are in my age group, such as mid 30s and above? Because the younger women are much more visible and available, or so it seems. So, you have to fish the biggest pond in hope of a catch every once in a while.

But this is not working for me anymore, I get a few dates here and there but as soon as these young women realise I am 15 years older than them, they politely excuse themselves from any romantic future. No hard feelings because the girls are sweet and friendly but just too young.

So now I find myself in a situation that has me, a relatively handsome and well educated guy, having fewer and fewer options on the dating front because of my age. Can anyone suggest a few places where a guy like me might have better luck finding older, single women in Taiwan, in general? I am from Kaohsiung if that makes any difference.

Thanks to all! :notworthy:

Hi wonder.

Do you have Facebook? Most my friends on it are Taiwanese and if I was single and looking (I am married), I would post a photo of me eating by myself in a restaurant and comment on the photo, “sigh, only if I had someone to share this great food with” or something as cheesy hehe. Making sure I am showing my pearly whites and get a shot of the food as well. :wink:

Also you can post photos of fun things you do. Even simple things like going to a pet store and looking at a cat. Make every normally boring outing seem to be an adventure with you (as it would be).

After a few months you will not only have a girlfriend, but many friends as well. I have only recently joined Facebook and am amazed at all the things I have missed in Taiwan. I have many more friends and many more things to do.

A good way to get people to add you on FB is ask the people you already know. Your co-workers, the breakfast house owners you go to all the time and you talk to, Family Mart workers. Pretty much everyone you interact with more than a few times a week, add them. Your friends list will grow and so will your opportunities.

Before you totally shut out my idea, really think about it. Facebook is a very powerful tool that lets Taiwanese peer into our world and see what we do (and visa versa). Soon, a friend of a friend might just set you up.

I almost forgot, I am an old dog like you and it took me many years to come around and join FB. I humbly admit, I am a tad addicted and am loving it. :smiley:

When on earth did mid 30s become older? :noway: I am 32, and can’t shrug of the kiddo label both online and IRL…30 sth women are women, 20 sth are girls 50 sth may qualify as older women. And a man in his 40s is so not ‘old’. He is just ripe :laughing:

Me thinks its not age that is stopping you from a romantic entanglement with a Xiao jie…it may be, just could be that maturity may be hitting you around the side locks. :2cents:

When on earth did mid 30s become older? :noway: I am 32, and can’t shrug of the kiddo label both online and IRL…30 sth women are women, 20 sth are girls 50 sth may qualify as older women. And a man in his 40s is so not ‘old’. He is just ripe :laughing:

Me thinks its not age that is stopping you from a romantic entanglement with a Xiao jie…it may be, just could be that maturity may be hitting you around the side locks. :2cents:[/quote]

Mr/Miss poster; You might meet older women through friends. The Taiwanese love to assume that single people are lonely. Ask your friends (and co-workers) if they know any datable women in your age pool.

There are tons of available 30 something women in the wan I am sure, but hes right about one thing . They are less visible. And they are still available for a reason. Some reasons are good, some are not so good.

The good. Many of them are keen to have a relationship. Many of them are really pretty.

The bad. They suffer from stay-at-home-or-office syndrome. They were not outgoing in the first place and remain NON-outgoing. Yes that means they dont go out and stay home or at work. Work to home to work to home to work. Therefore they are hidden from access. They could be overly shy (perhaps a good trait in keeping a wife at home, but not soo good in fishing for them in the first place). They could be divorced with 3 kids and keeping them and herself alive takes up all of her time.

I met this young lady yesterday (in a business, not social capacity). She is exactly 40, looks NICE with a capital N. Great bod ! Seemingly pleasing and shy personality.

Originally from the kong but spent so much time in the US of A that she sounds california chickey (well approaching california HEN but still very chicky). And shes apparently still single . I couldnt fish out too many more details without revealing my inner pervism. But I would certainly give her the “good housekeeping” award. Pretty , but not outgoing it seems. She said she hangs out mostly with her (younger and admittedly better looking sister) and HER hubby and kids when she has free time.

So theres a woman that is certainly ripe for picking but keeps herself hidden and unpickable. And thats here in cAlif !

ON my last trip back to the wan, I couldnt get a 20 something woman to give me the time of day even if i asked twice. But I got a lot of positive feedback from the 30 something women. Case in point of the former. S>E>X>Y> to all get out with legs up to THERE 20 something girl sat next to me on the MRT (well I sat next to HER). I just wanted to say Hi (had GF on the wan, not trying to catch her) and she gave me a response so icy im still cold from that. Whereas later that evening while i was in the nite market came across a juice stall run by two ladies in their 30s who couldnt get enough of me, 30 thousand questions ! IF i had the time (I certainly had the inclination) I couldve gotten one or both of them to go out with me I am pretty sure.

SO yeah. IM not one to make a long story short, rather im used to making short stories long but hey.

Theres fish in them waters on the wan !! OF that I am 10000 percent certain.

And Im certain there are lots of quality women over there in their 30s and even 40s ready to play ball. You just have to catch the game.

[quote]
And Im certain there are lots of quality women over there in their 30s and even 40s ready to play ball. You just have to catch the game.[/quote]

Catching might not be the hard thing, finding them is what the OP is having trouble doing.

[quote=“steelersman”][quote]
And Im certain there are lots of quality women over there in their 30s and even 40s ready to play ball. You just have to catch the game.[/quote]

Catching might not be the hard thing, finding them is what the OP is having trouble doing.[/quote]

Yes I know that and I had mentioned that a lot are hidden. How to flush them out? Will be hard. But circulate yourself (him I mean) more would be a good thing. Ask people you know to introduce people?

Co worker from Europe on the wan a few years back got introduced to this really really nice young lady in his first week on the wan i remember. They were an instant ITEM> PRobably still are today.

Department stores! Especially during their annual sales. Very few women ever outgrow shopping, so you’ll find women of all ages.

@Divea - The difference in the dating scene from 30 and under, and then re-entering at 35+ is astounding. There really is a huge difference, and as a 32 year old married lady you won’t really understand, unless you have to contend with it.

There does seem to be a very dry area in Taiwan from 34 onwards. Not sure why that is, but it is. It may be different in Taipei, but attracting women your age in your mid 30s onwards in Taiwan is tricky. It seems to me, mostly because women that age are either married, or have consigned themselves to being single and are out of the usual loop that foreigners move in. That is, you would need to be introduced to someone of that age, more often than not, to even begin to make a connection, or just get lucky. If you’re divorced, that may still be ok, but if you have a kid it makes things even more complicated and difficult here.

I’m single and almost forty. I’m also ALWAYS with my son. It’s just impossible.

Find a job teaching adults and make a vague comment about being lonely to the older crowd. The match-makers will start ROLLING in. I accidently mentioned that I’m newly single in one of my classes and…let’s just say my students are trying to get me married off to a Taiwanese dude so I’ll stay on the island :wink:
Another thought— if you’re interested in dating an ‘older’ woman, what are you looking for? While an early 30’s woman might go for a random hook up because her hormones are at an all-time high (fertile stage is drawing to an end), her hunger for bullshit is at an all-time low. The game has changed my friend. She’s probably either looking for a true commitment, or a complete no-strings-attached style fling. So be up front about what you want, and don’t lay on the BS the way younger guys do just to get laid, cause chances are she’s too smart to buy into it.
Good luck!

[quote=“NonTocareLeTete”]Find a job teaching adults and make a vague comment about being lonely to the older crowd. The match-makers will start ROLLING in. I accidently mentioned that I’m newly single in one of my classes and…let’s just say my students are trying to get me married off to a Taiwanese dude so I’ll stay on the island :wink:
Another thought— if you’re interested in dating an ‘older’ woman, what are you looking for? While an early 30’s woman might go for a random hook up because her hormones are at an all-time high (fertile stage is drawing to an end), her hunger for bullshit is at an all-time low. The game has changed my friend. She’s probably either looking for a true commitment, or a complete no-strings-attached style fling. So be up front about what you want, and don’t lay on the BS the way younger guys do just to get laid, cause chances are she’s too smart to buy into it.
Good luck![/quote]

I guess that is why there is Carnegie’s in Taipei. There must be some place like this in Kaoshiung.

Lets just say they are “agreeable” :slight_smile:

HEY.

Possibly I’m the only person to think of this, but the OP and HC are both older, single, and in Kaohsiung.

Why don’t you guys do a blind date?

[quote=“bismarck”]@Divea - The difference in the dating scene from 30 and under, and then re-entering at 35+ is astounding. There really is a huge difference, and as a 32 year old married lady you won’t really understand, unless you have to contend with it.

There does seem to be a very dry area in Taiwan from 34 onwards. Not sure why that is, but it is. It may be different in Taipei, but attracting women your age in your mid 30s onwards in Taiwan is tricky. It seems to me, mostly because women that age are either married, or have consigned themselves to being single and are out of the usual loop that foreigners move in. That is, you would need to be introduced to someone of that age, more often than not, to even begin to make a connection, or just get lucky. If you’re divorced, that may still be ok, but if you have a kid it makes things even more complicated and difficult here.[/quote]

Not kidding bro, the second time up at bat. The pitcher has changed, the rules have changed, YOU have changed, your catcher has changed. Heck the people in the grandstand have changed ! And you are not in the same ballpark anymore either.

[quote=“tsukinodeynatsu”]HEY.

Possibly I’m the only person to think of this, but the OP and HC are both older, single, and in Kaohsiung.

Why don’t you guys do a blind date?[/quote]
See!! Even online people love to fix up other people!

But I’m no in K-town any more, and I have a feeling the OP has a bit of rice fever.

And I said what I did earlier because the first guy to speak to me in an “I’m interested” kind of way in YEARS–was in a hospital waiting area while we waited to see different doctors. That freaked me out because I wondered what was WRONG with him, but also because I realized that it was the first time I’d been anywhere without my son in a very, very long time–and that THAT was likely at least a big part of the reason I never meet men anymore.

Very, very sweet though, Tsuki! :smiley:

KNow how you feel housemeow. Over here in berkeleyville very few people speak to strangers in cafes. Very much not what Im used to on the wan. I donno if you wan people talk to strangers in cafes still these days,but we used to meet a lot of people doing that. Maybe its a worldwide trend, this not speaking to people you dont know in cafe thing. Everyone brings their ipod,ipad, iwhatever and just engrosses themselves with themselves or anyone they came with ONLY.

Its funny because when it happens that someone speaks to me im kinda shocked for a few microseconds and :

  1. i dont realize someone is speaking to me
  2. I am not understanding what they are saying because of 1
  3. after i hear what they are saying im wondering why she spoke to me at all?
  4. all very strange

two cases in point , separated by a span of maybe six years of berkeley cafe going?

first instance , white college aged girl sitting next to me commented on how good the icecream i was having looked.

second , just recently , another white college girl asked me what kind of soup i was having.

And that was the full extent of conversations i had with strangers in cafes in six years in berkeley !!!

Yes , i too learned to bring MY notebook, MY mp3 and mind MY own fcuking business ! Oh and if i wanted to talk, call up MY friend or friends.

Im a fresh water fish in the ocean or perhaps a salt water fish in a fresh water pond. Im in the wrong place. And probably maybe you are as well?

I think if I want a date then I’m sure as HELL in the wrong place! Geographically and in life, too.

I’m always but always with my kid. The dr’s appointment was during school hours and on a school day, so that was a rare thing. It did really open my eyes to the fact that I never go anywhere without my son, though.

In the States, it was the same, I always had my boy with me, but it was also as you say–everyone absorbed in their own reality.

Also, I gained a lot of weight during the time I was in the States. I was doing pretty good getting it back off after I moved here, but have taken some medicine lately that put it back on and then some. That kind of makes it an uphill battle.

But of course, that also makes it harder to date, especially here. I’m pretty average in America (saddly enough), but here I’m pretty big. I also have big feet and can’t buy shoes that look feminine–so I’m really not playing on a level field here.

That sounds all sad and crap, but the good thing is that I’m not really at a life stage of wanting to date. I mean, I’d date, I guess, if someone really worth my while came along. But I’m pretty well so overwhelmed by everything it takes to be a good, responsible, single mom that I don’t have a lot left at the end of the day. And my little man is so far and above the best man to ever come into my life that I won’t be putting him aside for anyone else. So, at least until my son gets big enough to want his own dating life, I guess I’m not really on the market anyway.

Wow…! Thanks to all in the Forumosa community who have responded so well, and creatively, by suggesting ways to meet older women. And I thought this forum was only for people who had problems with people they were dating or trying to ditch! :no-no:

I am much more interested in hooking up now that I have read some of your ideas. The Facebook thing I am doing (although it needs some spring cleaning and a few more pics). And I never really thought of mentioning to my students that I am on the prowl for a cougar. I teach at an adult school but most of the students are university-age or slightly above. I won’t date students anymore because it gets wayyyyyyyyy too tense but I will remind them I am still in the lonely hearts club!

Department stores for hitting on older women? Really? :astonished: I would think that security would escort me off the premises, no matter how subtle and sophisticated I might be. But I can certainly browse the local malls a lot more. There seems to be a lot of activity at bakeries. :sunglasses:

I’d like to add that I am not a shut-in. In other words, I am out there a lot and do meet women from time to time. Up until a few years ago I was dating women in their mid 20s no problem (because they are the most available and visible). That’s because although I am in my 40s, I am still youthful looking with almost boyish looks and a full head of thick wavy hair. I am still in great shape with an althletic frame so at first glance I look quite a bit younger than I am.

But I am not into the club scene very much anymore so that reduces the meeting places for gals, and I know my age group doesn’t necessarily frequent the bars. And, strangely, being in K-town is a bit of a curse. Although there is a huge pool of gals in their early to mid 20s highly visble and available here, there is a dearth of ladies in their 30s…at least out and about anyway.

So I think bismarck makes a good point here:

I am certainly open minded and outgoing enough to move to other areas of the island to work and play so I will begin answering some of the personal ads I have seen from older gals in Taipei and Hsinchu, Tauyuan etc. Although I see posts quite frequently from ladies in the north, it is rare when I see one from my neck of the woods.

So please keep the suggestions coming. You are all making me feel quite positive! Let’s not let this thread sidetrack into a something else like how people can’t meet anyone after they are 30. I have a feeling I am not the only one having a few problems. :notworthy:

[quote]
I am certainly open minded and outgoing enough to move to other areas of the island to work and play so I will begin answering some of the personal ads I have seen from older gals in Taipei and Xinzhu (Hsinchu), Tauyuan etc. Although I see posts quite frequently from ladies in the north, it is rare when I see one from my neck of the woods.[/quote]

hc, your distance excuse is GONE XD Plus OP hasn’t once mentioned that he’s only interested in TW ladies, he said Ladies in TW. It was all the other ahems who came in with the ‘TW Ladies are XYZ’ comments.