[quote]…pornography did breach the dike that separated a marginal, adult, private pursuit from the mainstream public arena. The whole world, post-Internet, did become pornographized. Young men and women are indeed being taught what sex is, how it looks, what its etiquette and expectations are, by pornographic training—and this is having a huge effect on how they interact.
But the effect is not making men into raving beasts. On the contrary: The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as “porn-worthy.” Far from having to fend off porn-crazed young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention.
Here is what young women tell me on college campuses when the subject comes up: They can’t compete, and they know it. For how can a real woman—with pores and her own breasts and even sexual needs of her own (let alone with speech that goes beyond “More, more, you big stud!”)—possibly compete with a cybervision of perfection, downloadable and extinguishable at will, who comes, so to speak, utterly submissive and tailored to the consumer’s least specification?[/quote]
That’s an excellent article, and confirms what I’ve suspected for a while.
Instant gratification, in any of its guises, doesn’t make us better people, it makes us lazy. We’ve grown accustomed to sleeping when we’re tired, drinking when we’re thirsty, eating when we’re hungry, and having sex (if only with the internet) when even a flicker of sexual interest flits across our mind.
[quote]I will never forget a visit I made to Ilana, an old friend who had become an Orthodox Jew in Jerusalem. When I saw her again, she had abandoned her jeans and T-shirts for long skirts and a head scarf. I could not get over it. Ilana has waist-length, wild and curly golden-blonde hair. “Can’t I even see your hair?” I asked, trying to find my old friend in there. “No,” she demurred quietly. “Only my husband,” she said with a calm sexual confidence, “ever gets to see my hair.”
When she showed me her little house in a settlement on a hill, and I saw the bedroom, draped in Middle Eastern embroideries, that she shares only with her husband—the kids are not allowed—the sexual intensity in the air was archaic, overwhelming. It was private. It was a feeling of erotic intensity deeper than any I have ever picked up between secular couples in the liberated West. And I thought: Our husbands see naked women all day—in Times Square if not on the Net. Her husband never even sees another woman’s hair.
She must feel, I thought, so hot.[/quote]
Food for thought.
[quote]…pornography did breach the dike[/quote] Snicker!
I dunno, there has been some pluses. The tidying up of nether hairs is common place and certain sexual practices are less frowned upon. I see only upside.
Young women on college campuses can’t compete? sounds hard to believe.
It’s an oversimplification of porn to say that all porn is professional, airbrushed stuff. Thanks to the net, anyone with a webcam can become a porn star.
The whole article is way too concerned with the mainstream of porn, while the reality is, in this day and age, that porn — like so many products sold online — is diverging into a multiplicity of genres and styles. It’s called the long tail. If there’s porn of big beautiful women, which there is, then presumably the real big beautiful women out there would be considered ‘porn-worthy.’
Does porn really turn men off real sex? Does child porn turn child molesters off child sex? I think there is no conclusive answer.
No porn whatsoever can give you the feelings you have when falling and being in love with a real person that loves you back… and the pain when breaking up later…
[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]Yeeew, Funk, you poor bastard.
[/quote]
Yep, well many people think when they find out you are a naturist (or in my case brought up as one… I just figured everybody did it) your life revolves around sex-orgies and stuff. Nothing could be further from the truth. It was actually really boring. I guess I saw more breasts before I was 12 then most people here. That sounds great, but the group my parents were involved with were generally middle aged upwards, so I saw what tits become like…
So everytime I’ve seen porn its been like “oh, right”.
Last week, I winked at some girl in a club. Next thing you know we were getting it on in the bathroom with some mysterious, but appropriate porn music in the background. Then out of nowhere, she brought in her nubile brunette friend who happened to be wearing no underwear.
[quote=“Jack Burton”]Really? I thought we all had porn lives.
Last week, I winked at some girl in a club. Next thing you know we were getting it on in the bathroom with some mysterious, but appropriate porn music in the background. Then out of nowhere, she brought in her nubile brunette friend who happened to be wearing no underwear.
[/quote]
Did a handsome handyman come along to fix the broken air-con? And the good looking woman in the cubicle next to you bang on your door to complain about the noise?
[quote=“Funk500”]I have to admit I have never been a fan of porn, its just never done anything for me.
Maybe growing up with my parents who were were both practicing naturists until I was like 12-13 had something to do with it.[/quote]
So how does that work then? “Not bad, dear, but you’re not quite there yet. You still have one sock on.”
“Huh? Oops, dang! Next time I’ll get it right, I promise.”
[quote=“sandman”][quote=“Funk500”]I have to admit I have never been a fan of porn, its just never done anything for me.
Maybe growing up with my parents who were were both practicing naturists until I was like 12-13 had something to do with it.[/quote]
So how does that work then? “Not bad, dear, but you’re not quite there yet. You still have one sock on.”
“Huh? Oops, dang! Next time I’ll get it right, I promise.”[/quote]
[quote=“jdsmith”]I prefer bouncing boobies in plain sight.
To each their own.[/quote]
I totally concur.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Porn is a self-limiting attempt at actualization.
Why not actually act for the actual actualization?
It’s far more satisfying, and harmonizes with nature’s intentions.
And personally, I find the OP’s article quite nauseating.
Fluff-filled propa, inflammatory myth making of it’s own.
Addiction to porn is a pernicious, evil stain upon the very essence of civilization.
Much like any other addiction that hurts the human condition.
Yet: One cannot protect the innocent, nor cloister up the evil-doers thru prohibition.
Far better to teach well one’s children. Call me Ishmael, but to rail and rant at man’s evil ends up, sooner or later, with Sisyphus [Σίσυφος] & his Rock.
Prohibition & The Internet? Why, that’s an entirely other issue.
Wipe the slate clean,
& start AfreSH.
…don’t be a sissyfuss…
amen
I agree. The writer also sounds pretty ignorant about what sex for most people was when she was young – she’s certainly light years off the mark in terms of me and my peers, both male and female, who also came of age in the 70s – so there’s no reason to believe she’s any more clued-in about what sex is for young people today. Good copy under a deadline, I suppose. No more than that.
The author argues that the idea of men comparing women to an impossible ideal is a new thing.
The author also writes this: “After all, pornography works in the most basic of ways on the brain: It is Pavlovian.”
A Pavlovian response is one that is in essence trained. No training is involved in the appreciation of an orgasm or the pleasure to be obtained from manipulation of the genitals, whether the manipulator be male or female. Of course we recall it has been observed in wholly untutored infants.
Therefore one can only conclude that, as Sandman points out, the submission of this piece was accompanied by the ubiquitous handwritten scrawl-on-the-fax* “will this do?” and standard per-word fee.
