Ok, just thought some of you might appreciate an update.
A couple of weeks ago farting girl was relocated to a different cubicle and I am no longer forced to endure her stench. In fact, I don’t even know if she’s still emitting a stench – perhaps it was just a transitory disorder – as she’s now situated beside another co-worker, not me, and I haven’t asked him if he’s noticed anything rancid.
Someone opined near the beginning of this thread that the girl’s a Christian, not a Buddhist as I suggested. I have no idea how they figured that out, but that was correct (she sat opposite me at lunch today and preceded her meal with Grace). Incidentally, I didn’t notice her stench during lunch, but it could have been masked by the smell of the food (from our company cafeteria), which is also pretty vile. I’m also not sure whether her Christianity is related somehow to her flatulence, but one should never discount any potential clue.
Finally, while I perhaps shouldn’t share such intimate details, I’ve been thinking of farting girl lately as I, too, have been emitting noxious gases fairly continuously in recent days (my only change in diet has been a recent influx of granola, purchased from Costco, to which I attribute my condition) and I only wish she still sat beside me so I could share the fumes with her. I think she might appreciate that.
I think the Christianity feeds my earlier remarks that it’s a nervous condition. Those Taiwanese Baptists always seem such nervy types. I suspect it has something to do with trying to hold back their nature. They know their version of civilised is only moments from tearing off their clothes and masturbating madly on the desk. The farts are an obvious release of that brewing inner tension. Condemning her for farting would have hastened the inevitable messy desked catharsis.
I just read through all 7 pages of this thread.
Funny stuff, this is what I miss when I don’t log on for a month.
But please, show me where anyone else suggested that she was a Christian.
I believe you were the first to bring it up.
[quote=“Mother Theresa”][quote=“Josefus”]. . .please, show me where anyone else suggested that she was a Christian.
I believe you were the first to bring it up.[/quote]
I don’t recall. I may be mistaken. That may be simply part of a subconscious fantasy.[/quote]
Just as I thought.
I suspect she wasn’t saying Grace at all.
Rather, she was closing her eyes, bowing her head and tensing all of her muscles.
She was obviously in some kind of meditative state.
I believe she’s well aware of her offensive omittances and she thinks these new abdominal exercises will help tame the beast.
A new girl has moved into farting girl’s cubicle, on the other side of mine. She’s not a farter, from what I can tell, but a habitual sneezer. I wouldn’t mind if they were healthy, hearty, ordinary sneezes, but she’s got the most damp, mucousy, half-aborted, disgusting and prolonged sneezes, as if she’s attempting to stifle it halfway through, each time, so it starts out like a normal sneeze, more or less, but is then cut short as she clamps down on her fleshy, flacid, snot-filled nasal cavities, resulting in a sudden stifled sound of phlegm against phlegm, followed by various snorts, wheezes, sniffles and attempts to reorient the fluids in her throat and nose over the next ten minutes or so until the next series of half-aborted, phlegmy occurences.
It may seem trivial – and perhaps it’s less offensive than the stench of the prior occupant – but if you were to witness her whole phlegmy ritual, I believe you too would be slightly disgusted.
You do know sneezes are considered orgasmic . . and in her case the attempted stifling takes on far greater significance, say a leg shutting halfway through.
Now if you can get your head around this, it might just give you a hard on instead.
[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]You do know sneezes are considered orgasmic . . and in her case the attempted stifling takes on far greater significance, say a leg shutting halfway through.
Now if you can get your head around this, it might just give you a hard on instead.
HG[/quote]
Hard on? Wouldn’t the attempted stifling be a sign of frigidity? That’s how she appears, but I could be mistaken.
